Rhiannon Hendricks
It's a special kind of stress to be a bride or groom and have to chase down your wedding guests for their RSVPs. It's not always clear why people don't respond to their invitations, but it's important to find out whether they're coming or not, so you can finalise your table plan and give your caterers the final headcount. The general rule is to send out invitations between six and ten weeks before the wedding, with the RSVP deadline falling three to four weeks before the wedding day. This gives guests enough time to make travel plans and for the couple to follow up with any non-responders. If you're still waiting on RSVPs, it's best to politely remind your guests to respond via email, text, or phone call.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Time to send invites | 6-10 weeks before the wedding, 10-12 weeks for destination weddings |
| RSVP deadline | 2-4 weeks before the wedding |
| What to do if guests don't RSVP in time | Remind them politely via email and text, then call |
| What to do if guests don't RSVP but show up | Inform them that dinner arrangements have not been made and ask them to wait and see if there is space |
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What You'll Learn
Guests not RSVPing to destination weddings in time
Planning a wedding is a lot of work, and one of the most exciting parts of the process is sending out invitations and receiving RSVPs. However, it can be frustrating when guests don't respond in time, especially for a destination wedding. Here are some tips for handling the situation when guests don't RSVP to a destination wedding by the deadline:
Send Invitations and Save-the-Dates Early:
For a destination wedding, it is recommended to send out invitations 10 to 12 weeks before the wedding, or even earlier. This gives guests more time to make travel arrangements and accommodations. Sending Save-the-Dates as soon as possible is also a good idea, and including enough information on how to book and creating a wedding website can help get your guests excited about their trip.
Set an RSVP Deadline and Reminders:
Clearly communicate the RSVP deadline on your invitations and wedding website. Set the deadline at least four weeks before the wedding day, and ideally around three to four weeks. This gives you enough time to follow up with guests who haven't responded and finalize your guest list. Send friendly reminders about one week before the RSVP deadline, and consider adding a note to your wedding website or sending a reminder via email or text.
Follow Up with Guests Who Haven't Responded:
If the RSVP deadline has passed and you still haven't received responses from some guests, it's time to take action. First, try contacting them via email or text, and then give them a call if necessary. If they still don't respond, it's likely that they are unable to attend, but it's important to get a confirmation either way. Remember to stay polite and calm during this process.
Understand the Challenges of Attending a Destination Wedding:
Attending a destination wedding requires a more significant time and financial investment from guests. They may need to arrange time off work, budget for travel and accommodations, or organize childcare. Some guests may also feel uncomfortable attending a wedding where they don't know the couple or other guests very well. It's important to be understanding of these challenges and not take it personally if guests decline your invitation.
Finalize Your Plans:
Once you have your final guest list, you can finalize your table plan and confirm the number of meals needed with your caterer. It's a good idea to have a few extra chairs or a backup plan for any guests who show up without RSVPing. However, if they didn't confirm their attendance, it's not your responsibility to provide them with a meal if your caterer can't accommodate them.
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Guests not RSVPing to weddings in time, despite reminders
It can be frustrating when guests don't RSVP to your wedding in time, even with reminders. Here are some tips to handle the situation and ensure you get timely responses from your guests:
Set a Clear Deadline:
Provide a clear deadline for RSVPs, usually around two to four weeks before the wedding. This gives you enough time to finalise the guest list and make necessary arrangements. Communicate this deadline clearly on the invitations and your wedding website.
Send Reminders:
If the RSVP deadline is approaching and you haven't heard from some guests, send friendly reminders via email, text, or phone call. A personal phone call can be more effective as it shows you're serious about getting their response.
Offer Multiple Response Options:
Make it convenient for guests to respond by offering multiple options, such as mail-in cards, digital responses through your wedding website, or even a quick RSVP reminder with an engaging call to action.
Follow Up with Non-Responders:
If some guests still haven't responded despite reminders, it's important to follow up personally. Call or, if necessary, meet them in person to get their response. This is crucial for finalising your table plan, catering, and other wedding details.
Plan for Late Responses:
Despite your best efforts, there may still be guests who respond very late or not at all. It's a good idea to have a few extra chairs and meals just in case. However, if they show up without prior notice, you are not obligated to accommodate them fully.
Be Understanding:
Remember that guests may have various reasons for not responding on time. They might need to organise their budget, book time off work, or arrange childcare. Stay polite and calm throughout the process, and don't hesitate to chase up on RSVPs—your wedding planning depends on it!
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Guests showing up without RSVPing
It can be frustrating when guests show up without RSVPing, but it's important to remain calm and polite. Here are some suggestions on how to handle this situation:
Be Prepared
It is always a good idea to be prepared for unexpected guests. While it is frustrating when guests do not RSVP, it is possible to plan ahead for such scenarios. Having a few extra place settings and chairs can be useful in case unannounced guests arrive. This way, you can accommodate them without causing too much disruption.
Communicate with the Guests
When guests show up without RSVPing, it is essential to communicate with them politely. You can inform them that their attendance without prior confirmation has caused a slight inconvenience. However, you can also offer solutions, such as waiting to see if any seats become available or joining the celebrations after dinner.
Prioritize Close Friends and Family
If you find yourself with limited seating or resources, it may be a good idea to prioritize accommodating close friends and family members over other guests. This can be a difficult decision, but it ensures that those closest to you are included in the celebration.
Follow Up with a Call or Text
If you are expecting guests who have not RSVP'd, it is a good idea to follow up with a quick call or text before the wedding. This can help you get a more accurate headcount and reduce the number of unexpected arrivals. A simple and polite message can be sent to guests who have not responded, asking for their confirmation.
Be Flexible
Sometimes, it is best to be flexible and accommodating, especially if the unannounced guests are close friends or family. While it is their responsibility to RSVP, showing grace and understanding can help ease the tension of the situation.
Assign an Emergency Contact
As the bride or groom, it is important to delegate tasks so that you can enjoy your special day. Assigning an emergency contact person for your guests can help alleviate some of the stress of unexpected arrivals. This person can handle any issues that arise, allowing you to focus on your celebration.
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Guests not receiving the invitation in time
It is important to give your guests enough time to RSVP. Some people might need a lot of time to decide whether they can attend. They might need to organise their budget, book time off work, or arrange childcare. It is also important to send out invitations with enough time for guests to make travel arrangements if necessary.
If you are having a destination wedding, send the invites 10 to 12 weeks before the wedding. For other weddings, send invitations six to eight weeks in advance. This is considered reasonable notice for guests to check their calendars and make any necessary arrangements.
If you have not heard back from guests, it is a good idea to follow up with them. It is likely that they saw your invitation but did not have the time to respond. Politely remind them to respond by email and text, and then by calling. If you still can't get in touch with them, consider meeting them in person. If they still don't respond, it is safe to assume that they aren't coming.
If you find out that guests did not receive the invitation, apologise for the late notice and send them a copy of the invitation by email. Explain that you know it is an imposition to expect an answer in a short time period, but that your caterer needs final numbers. Follow up by sending a hard copy of the invitation.
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Guests assuming they don't need to RSVP
It is not uncommon for wedding guests to assume that they do not need to RSVP. This may be because they feel that, as family or part of the wedding party, their attendance is a given. It could also be that they are embarrassed about not being able to attend or are unsure if they can make it. Some guests may also be rude or forgetful, or they may have misplaced the RSVP card.
As a host, it is important to give your guests enough time to respond, especially if your wedding is a destination wedding or if guests need to organise their budget, book time off work, or arrange childcare. It is also a good idea to set your RSVP deadline before the final headcount is due to your venue or caterer, so you have a buffer in case anyone drops out.
If you have guests who haven't responded, you can politely remind them to do so via email, text, or phone call. If you still haven't heard from them, you can send a final message saying that you will mark them as not attending. For example, you could say, "We were hoping to see you at our wedding, but we understand that circumstances are such that you won't be able to attend."
It is also a good idea to have a few extra chairs and meals just in case some guests show up without RSVPing. However, if they do not respond within the given timeframe, you have every right to cross them off the guest list.
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Frequently asked questions
The deadline for RSVPs should be around two to four weeks before the wedding. This gives the couple enough time to finalise the guest list and plan the seating chart, meals, transportation, etc.
If you miss the RSVP deadline, it is best to contact the couple as soon as possible. Politely inform them of your intention to attend the wedding and apologise for the late response.
If you haven't received all your RSVPs by the deadline, you should contact your guests via phone, email, or text. It is important to get their response so you can finalise your wedding plans.
If guests who didn't RSVP arrive on the day, it is your decision whether to accommodate them. You may need to consider the availability of food, seating, and other resources. You could politely inform them that their RSVP was not received and that dinner arrangements were made based on the final guest list.
