Junior Rasmussen
The honeymoon is now considered a time for newlyweds to relax and get intimate with each other. The tradition of honeymooning is believed to have started in 19th-century Britain, and it was during this time that the Victorian era also flourished. During the early 1800s, newlyweds would travel together to visit family and friends who were unable to attend the wedding ceremony. It was only towards the end of the 1800s that honeymoons started to resemble what we know them as today. During the Victorian era, couples would change into their travelling clothes as soon as the wedding cake was cut or after the wedding breakfast. The bride would be assisted by her bridesmaid and she would give them a flower from her bouquet as a gift. The couple would then drive off in a carriage drawn by white horses and were showered with satin slippers and rice.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Honeymoon Destinations | Rome, Venice, Europe's most romantic cities, Niagara Falls, the seaside, the city, the continent, the Lake District |
| Honeymoon Activities | Sightseeing, camping, canoeing, bicycle tours, scaling mountains, voyaging to the South Pole |
| Honeymoon Attire | Travelling clothes, a bonnet instead of a veil |
| Honeymoon Departure | Immediately after the reception, or after the cake was cut or the wedding breakfast/supper |
| Honeymoon Transport | Carriage drawn by white horses, train, steamer |
| Honeymoon Traditions | Throwing satin slippers and rice at the couple, the best man travelling with the couple to the train or steamer and taking care of the baggage, the husband carrying his wife over the threshold when they returned |
| Honeymoon Beliefs | It was bad luck if a slipper fell in the carriage, it was bad luck for the wife to stumble when returning home, it was bad luck to ask the couple about their destination, honeymoons were a time to get intimate and relax, strengthen ties to family and community |
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What You'll Learn
Honeymoon customs in the Victorian era
The honeymoon tradition is believed to have originated in 19th-century Britain, and the ceremony of honeymoons in its true sense started during the Victorian era. During this period, the custom involved the couple travelling together, often to visit family members and friends who couldn't attend the wedding ceremony. The popular honeymoon destinations for Victorians were romantic European cities like Rome and Venice.
Honeymoons were known as "wedding tours", "bridal tours", or "nuptial journeys" during this era. The couple would be accompanied by family and friends until the 1860s, after which they began to travel alone. The bride was expected to wear brown or black, and nothing too new, so as not to stand out as a newlywed. If the bride married in her travelling clothes, she would wear a bonnet instead of a veil.
The best man would accompany the couple to the train or steamer and take care of the baggage, sworn to secrecy about the honeymoon destination. The couple would depart in a carriage drawn by white horses, showered with satin slippers and rice. It was believed that if a slipper fell into the carriage, it meant good luck for the couple, especially if it was the left slipper.
The honeymoon was often taken in a secluded location, providing the newlyweds with a break from family and well-wishers, and allowing them to express their sexuality privately. Victorian critics described this period as "a month of enforced seclusion". It was not until the late 1800s that honeymoons started to resemble those of today, with the couple enjoying alone time and intimate moments together.
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Etiquette and superstitions
Honeymoons, often called "wedding tours", "bridal tours", or "nuptial journeys" in the Victorian era, were considered to begin as soon as the couple changed into their travelling clothes, which could be directly after the reception or after the wedding cake was cut. The bride was assisted by her bridesmaid, to whom she gifted a flower from her bouquet. The couple would then drive off in a carriage drawn by white horses, showered with satin slippers and rice. It was believed that if a slipper fell into the carriage, it meant good luck for the couple, especially if it were the left slipper.
The honeymoon was a time for the couple to consummate their marriage, as it was expected for brides to be virgins before the wedding. It was also a time to strengthen the couple's bond and enable them to express their sexuality privately and discreetly, away from prying family members and well-wishers.
During the Victorian era, the couple was usually accompanied by family and friends, as well as a female companion, until the 1860s when they began to travel alone. The best man also went with the couple to the train or steamer and took care of the baggage, sworn to secrecy about the honeymoon destination. The bride was advised to not wear anything noticeably new to avoid being identified as a newlywed couple. Popular honeymoon destinations included Rome, Venice, and other romantic cities in Europe, as well as the Lake District for those who could afford it.
Superstitions played a role in the honeymoon traditions of the Victorian era. It was considered bad luck for anyone to ask the couple about their honeymoon destination. Upon returning from the honeymoon, it was customary for the husband to carry his wife over the threshold to avoid the bad luck of the wife stumbling. It was also believed that if a slipper fell into the carriage as the couple departed, it signalled good luck for the couple, especially if it were the left slipper.
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Honeymoon destinations
During the Victorian era, the honeymoon was often referred to as a wedding tour, bridal tour, or nuptial journey. Popular honeymoon destinations included the most romantic cities in Europe, such as Rome and Venice.
In the 19th century, the increased availability and affordability of transportation, such as railway travel, allowed newlyweds from a range of socioeconomic backgrounds to travel. While working-class couples might take a trip to the seaside or the city, more affluent couples could travel to the continent or plan a bridal tour of the Lake District.
During the Victorian era, the honeymoon was seen as a time for the couple to be secluded and intimate with each other, away from family and friends. The trip was often to a secluded location, and the honeymoon destination was kept a secret. The best man knew the destination as he travelled with the couple and took care of the baggage.
The bride was advised not to wear anything noticeably new to make her identifiable as a newlywed. If the bride married in her travelling clothes, she wore a bonnet on her head instead of a veil.
In the early 1900s, newlyweds were presented with a range of honeymoon options, with the groom typically selecting the location and paying for the trip. Some couples stayed at seaside resorts, while others camped, canoed, or took bicycle tours. As the honeymoon became connected to the destination itself, natural wonders such as Niagara Falls were believed to mirror and enhance the intensity of the couple's romance.
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The role of the best man
During the Victorian era, newlyweds often changed into their travelling clothes as soon as the wedding cake was cut and drove off in a carriage drawn by white horses. The best man was tasked with accompanying the couple to the train station or steamer and helping them with their luggage. He was also sworn to secrecy about the honeymoon destination.
- Planning and Coordination: The best man worked closely with the groom to plan and coordinate the logistics of the wedding, including transportation to the honeymoon destination. He made sure the groom arrived at the ceremony on time and provided emotional support.
- Baggage Handling: As mentioned earlier, the best man helped the couple with their luggage, ensuring that it was securely loaded onto the carriage or train. He may have also assisted with any travel arrangements, such as purchasing tickets or hiring transportation.
- Confidentiality: One of the most important aspects of the best man's role was maintaining confidentiality about the honeymoon destination. It was considered bad taste to reveal the couple's travel plans, and only the best man knew the details. He was expected to keep this information secret from everyone except the couple.
- Support and Assistance: The best man provided general support and assistance to the groom before, during, and after the wedding ceremony. This could include offering emotional support, helping the groom with his attire, and being a trustworthy confidant.
- Problem-Solving: In case of any last-minute issues or problems on the wedding day, the best man was expected to step in and find solutions. This could involve handling any emergencies, dealing with unexpected delays, or resolving conflicts that may arise.
- Celebratory Duties: During the wedding reception, the best man may have been called upon to make a speech, propose a toast to the couple, or participate in any traditional wedding games or activities. He played a key role in ensuring the couple's send-off was memorable and joyous.
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The evolution of the honeymoon
The tradition of the honeymoon has evolved significantly over time, from its origins in the 5th century to its modern form as a romantic getaway for newlyweds.
Ancient Times to the Victorian Era:
The concept of a honeymoon dates back to ancient times, with one theory suggesting it originated from a tradition where newlyweds would drink honey-mead for 30 days, a custom believed to have been propagated by the Victorians. In the 5th century, the practice of the honeymoon took on a different form, with grooms carrying their brides to secret locations, staying there for almost a month. During the Victorian era, the term 'honeymoon' became associated with the wedding trip itself, marking the beginning of the modern honeymoon. The newlyweds would change into their travelling clothes, and after the reception, they would depart in a carriage drawn by white horses, often accompanied by family and friends until the 1860s. The honeymoon was seen as a time for the couple to bond and consummate their marriage, though it was also described as "a month of enforced seclusion".
Late 19th Century to Early 20th Century:
By the late 19th century, the length of the traditional honeymoon celebration shortened, and the focus shifted to more extravagant trips. Destinations became more important, with natural wonders like Niagara Falls believed to enhance the couple's romance. The groom typically chose the location and paid for the trip, and activities included camping, canoeing, and bicycle tours.
Mid-20th Century:
In the 1950s, large communal weddings experienced a revival, and the honeymoon became a way for middle-class couples to showcase their wealth. Brides took on a primary role in planning honeymoons, and postwar honeymooners faced new pressures, as experts warned of the potential for wedding night incompatibilities to ruin a marriage. Popular destinations shifted to exotic locations like Hawaii and the Caribbean, facilitated by the growth of the tourist industry.
Present Day:
Today, honeymoons remain an integral part of marriage rituals, often exceeding weddings in cost and duration. Couples now have greater autonomy and financial resources to devote to their honeymoons, and while premarital cohabitation and sex are common, honeymoons still offer a space for emotional bonding away from daily life. The modern honeymoon has also adapted to busy schedules and budget constraints, with some couples opting for 'mini moons' or shorter, more affordable trips immediately after the wedding, in addition to, or instead of, a larger trip later on.
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Frequently asked questions
Yes, honeymoons became widely popular in the 1820s.
Victorian honeymoons were often called "wedding tours", "bridal tours", or "nuptial journeys". They were seen as a time for couples to get intimate and relax. The couple would change into their travelling clothes as soon as the cake was cut or after the wedding breakfast, and drive off in a carriage drawn by white horses. The best man would accompany the couple to the train station or steamer and take care of the baggage, as well as keep the honeymoon destination a secret.
Popular honeymoon destinations included Rome, Venice, and other romantic cities in Europe. Couples would often travel by train or steamer to their chosen destination.
