Weddings Now: What You Can And Cannot Do

The COVID-19 pandemic has thrown a wrench in the plans of many couples who were looking forward to celebrating their weddings with family and friends. Some have had to cancel their weddings altogether, while others have postponed them indefinitely. As a result, many couples have chosen to get legally married first and have the proper wedding later. This approach can also be useful for those who need to get married quickly for insurance, visa, or tax purposes, or to include the legal stuff in a destination wedding. However, some people may view this as improper or against etiquette, and it may cause some guests to feel that they are being asked to celebrate a fake wedding.

Legal marriage before the wedding

There are many reasons why a couple may opt for a legal marriage before their wedding ceremony. For some, it may be a matter of convenience, especially if they are dealing with issues related to immigration, insurance, taxes, or other legal matters. Others may choose to have a legal marriage first to save money on wedding costs or to have more time to plan their dream wedding. Some couples also prefer to have an intimate legal marriage first to reduce stress and then have a bigger celebration later. This approach can make the wedding planning process less overwhelming and more enjoyable.

If you're considering a legal marriage before your wedding, it's important to weigh the advantages and disadvantages. On the one hand, a legal marriage can provide practical benefits and give you more flexibility with your wedding plans. It can also be a more affordable option, especially if you opt for a civil ceremony at a courthouse. However, some guests may feel unhappy or deceived if they find out that the couple was already legally married, especially if they have spent money on travel and gifts for the wedding. It's essential to consider the potential impact on your guests and decide whether to disclose your legal marriage to them.

When planning a legal marriage before the wedding, there are a few key steps to keep in mind. Firstly, obtain a marriage license by following the requirements of your state or country. Secondly, decide on the type of ceremony you want, whether it's a civil ceremony at a courthouse or a private event with a small group of family and friends. You can also choose to have a religious figure officiate your legal marriage if that aligns with your beliefs. Finally, consider how you want to celebrate your legal marriage. Some couples choose to have a simple dinner with their loved ones, while others opt for a mini-moon or a small celebration.

It's worth noting that a legal marriage before the wedding may impact certain wedding traditions and rituals. For example, some couples choose to exchange rings only during the wedding ceremony, while others may opt for temporary wedding bands for their legal marriage and upgrade to their dream rings later. Additionally, if you're having a religious wedding, there may be specific requirements or expectations to consider. It's always a good idea to consult with your religious leader to understand any implications of having a legal marriage beforehand.

Ultimately, the decision to have a legal marriage before the wedding is a personal one, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach. Each couple needs to consider their unique circumstances, beliefs, and priorities when making this choice. Open communication with your partner, families, and wedding party is crucial to ensuring that everyone is on the same page and respectful of each other's perspectives.

Wedding postponement due to COVID-19

The COVID-19 pandemic has had a massive impact on the wedding industry, with many couples forced to postpone their weddings or drastically alter their plans. If your wedding is within the next two months, it is advised to postpone it. This gives you the best chance of minimising any financial losses and means that your vendors are more likely to be available for your new date.

How to Postpone Your Wedding

The first steps to postponing your wedding are to take a deep breath and create a to-do list to keep you organised. You will need to:

• Look over the terms of your vendor contracts and wedding insurance.
• Contact vendors and your venue to discuss options.
• Decide whether to cancel or postpone.
• Choose a new date that works for your venue and most of your vendors.
• Let your guests know about any changes.

How to Celebrate a Postponed Wedding

• Livestream your wedding: Use video conferencing software to allow guests to watch your ceremony from a distance.
• Plan an elopement ceremony: Choose a private, scenic location and invite only a few witnesses.
• Celebrate with guests inside their cars: Ask guests to park and celebrate from a safe distance.
• Plan a reception later: Gather with friends and family at a later date to practice wedding reception traditions.
• Celebrate later with a vow renewal: Host a vow renewal ceremony, either on your anniversary or at any other time that suits you.

How to Announce Your Wedding is Postponed

• Call or speak to your guests in person, especially those closest to you.
• Send physical notices in the mail to formally and politely inform guests of the change.
• Explain the date change and be sympathetic to your guests' situations.
• Be kind and direct in your announcement and thank your friends and family for their understanding.

Wedding insurance

• Site: Wedding insurance can cover the cost arising from unavoidable cancellation, such as damage or inaccessibility to the ceremony site.
• Weather: Extreme weather conditions and acts of God (e.g. hurricanes, earthquakes, wildfires) that prevent the couple, immediate family, wedding party members or most guests from reaching the wedding location.
• Vendor no-show: Wedding insurance usually covers the cancellation or postponement of the wedding due to essential vendors failing to show up, including deposits paid to vendors who don't fulfil their contractual obligations.
• Sudden illness or injury: Wedding insurance may cover sudden illness, injury or death for the couple or immediate family members. This doesn't include pre-existing medical conditions.
• Wedding gifts: Some wedding insurance policies cover damage or theft of wedding gifts up to an estimated value.

Types of wedding insurance

There are two main types of wedding insurance:

• Wedding liability insurance: This type of insurance protects you against financial liability arising from your wedding, such as damage to property at the event or injuries to guests. It's often required by venues, especially if alcohol is being served.
• Wedding cancellation insurance: This type of insurance protects your financial investment in the event of cancellation or postponement, lost deposits, and more. It can reimburse you for transportation, food, catering services, property and equipment rentals, and more.

The cost of wedding insurance can vary depending on the provider, event location and amount of coverage desired. Basic policies typically range from $75 to $550, while general liability insurance can cost around $185 and covers up to $1 million for accidents.

Wedding cancellation

If you find yourself in a situation where you need to cancel your wedding, there are a few important steps you should take to protect yourself legally and financially. Firstly, review your contracts with your vendors, including the wedding venue, caterers, bands, and photographers. Check their terms and conditions, force majeure clauses, and refund policies. If you are unsure of your legal rights and options, consider seeking legal advice or assistance from a citizen's advice bureau.

Additionally, try to communicate any cancellations or postponements with your vendors as early as possible. This will help to ensure a smoother process and may increase your chances of recovering deposits or receiving a refund. Keep records of all communications and be prepared to negotiate alternative dates or solutions.

In some cases, you may need to involve a consumer court or dispute resolution commission to help resolve issues with vendors who refuse to cooperate or provide refunds. It is important to document your attempts to resolve the issue and provide evidence of any agreements or contracts that were in place.

To avoid last-minute disruptions, consider booking vendors who offer comprehensive COVID cover or similar protections in their contracts. This will provide added security and peace of mind should your plans be affected by unforeseen circumstances.

Remember, wedding cancellations can be stressful and emotionally challenging. It is important to take care of yourself and seek support from your partner, family, and friends during this difficult time.

Wedding costs and budgeting

Wedding costs can vary wildly, with some couples spending over $100,000 on ultra-glamorous weddings, and others throwing their dream wedding for $5,000. The average cost of a wedding in the United States in 2024 is $33,000, though this can differ depending on the state, the time of year, and the number of guests.

Reception Venue, Catering, and Rentals (40-45%)

The biggest chunk of your budget will likely go towards the venue, catering, and rentals. This includes tables, chairs, linens, stemware, flatware, and tenting.

Wedding Planner/Coordinator (5-15%)

While not all couples opt for a wedding planner, it is worth considering as they can help you save money in the long run by leveraging their relationships with vendors.

Photography and/or Videography (10-12%)

Great wedding photos are a must, so this is an area you may not want to skimp on. Some couples opt out of videography to save money, but consider whether you'll regret not having this memento later on.

Reception Music/Entertainment (10%)

This includes everything you need to ensure your guests have a great time, such as a band or DJ, cocktail hour musicians, a photobooth, and other fun experiences like a live painter or caricaturist.

Wedding Stationery (2-5%)

This includes engagement announcements, save-the-dates, invitations, RSVP cards, ceremony programs, menus, escort cards, place cards, and thank-you notes.

Flowers and Decor (10%)

It's easy to quickly blow your budget on flowers and decor, especially if you don't have a clear idea of how much certain floral arrangements cost. This category also includes lighting, candles, signage, table displays, non-floral centerpieces, and other decorative elements.

Wedding Attire and Beauty (7-9%)

This includes the wedding dress or suit, alterations, accessories, day-of hair and makeup, and any beauty treatments you plan to get before the wedding.

Wedding Cake and Desserts (2-3%)

The catering costs usually don't include the wedding cake or other desserts, so don't forget to make space for this in your budget.

Transportation (3-5%)

This includes transportation for the newlyweds, the wedding party, and guests to and from the ceremony, reception, and lodging.

Tips (5-15%)

Many of your vendors will expect to be tipped, so it's a good idea to build in a buffer for tips on the day of the wedding.

Rehearsal Dinner and Other Wedding Events (8%)

If you're hosting a welcome party, rehearsal dinner, or goodbye brunch, be sure to factor these expenses into your budget.

Honeymoon (5%)

If you're planning to go on your honeymoon right after the wedding, include this cost in your budget as well.

Emergency Fund (5-15%)

It's a good idea to have some wiggle room in your budget for unexpected expenses, such as an emergency rain tent or last-minute vendor changes.

Frequently asked questions