Having Multiple Maid Of Honors: Is It Possible?

Selecting your bridal party is one of the most exciting parts of the wedding planning process. But what if you want more than one maid of honor? Well, there are no rules, so you can totally opt for an alternative like having two maids of honor. In fact, it is perfectly acceptable and can even be beneficial to have two maids of honor. This can be especially useful if your friends or family members are busy and can help divide up the long list of duties. However, it can also get tricky in terms of divvying up the duties, and there is a possibility of clashing personalities and jealousy between the maids of honor. But if having multiple maids of honor is what will make you happiest on your special day, then go for it!

Maid of honour duties

Yes, a bride can have two maids of honour. In fact, a bride can have any number of maids of honour if she likes. This can be a good way to honour multiple close friends or family members, and to share out the duties and responsibilities of the role.

The role of the maid of honour is to support the bride, and the duties of the role can vary depending on the couple's needs. Here is a list of some of the typical duties of a maid of honour:

Before the Wedding

• Organise the engagement party
• Go wedding dress shopping with the bride
• Help choose the bridesmaids' dresses
• Organise the bridesmaids
• Plan the hen party
• Get hands-on with wedding planning
• Provide emotional support
• Plan non-wedding activities for the couple
• Finalise details with vendors and guests

On the Wedding Day

• Help the bride get ready
• Act as a point of contact for guests and vendors
• Be a point of contact for the best man
• Hold the bride's bouquet during the ceremony
• Be a witness for the signing of the register
• Enter the reception with the best man
• Bustle the bride's train
• Be a host for the reception
• Dance with the best man
• Keep the bride calm
• Give a speech
• Make sure the bride stays fuelled
• Collect the gifts

After the Wedding

• Return hired clothes and wedding accessories
• Help with thank you notes

Choosing the right maid of honour

Number of Maid of Honours

There is no rule saying that you have to choose just one maid of honour. If you have multiple close friends or family members that you want to honour, you can absolutely have two or even three maid of honours. This can make the division of duties easier and ensure that you have the support of multiple important people in your life on your special day.

Relationship and Dynamics

Think about the relationship you have with each person you are considering. Why is each person important to you, and what role do they play in your life? It is essential to pick someone who adores and supports you and who you know will show up for you during the wedding planning process and on your wedding day. Consider their personality and choose someone who makes you feel calm and who can help you navigate any problems that may arise. It is also beneficial to choose someone who knows how to juggle both big and small issues.

Additionally, consider family and friendship dynamics when making your decision. Ensure that you are choosing a maid of honour for the right reasons and not because you feel forced to do so. If you are worried about hurting someone's feelings, communicate your decision early on and explain why you chose them as a bridesmaid instead of the maid of honour.

Duties and Responsibilities

The maid of honour has several duties and responsibilities before and on the day of the wedding. These include organising the bridal shower and bachelorette party, ensuring the bridal party orders their dresses, and assisting the bride with any wedding planning tasks. When choosing your maid of honour, consider their ability to take on these responsibilities and the financial requirements involved. If you have multiple maid of honours, you can divide the duties among them based on their strengths and interests.

Communication and Expectations

Clear communication and setting expectations are crucial when choosing a maid of honour. Be transparent about any budget expectations for pre-wedding events and expenses. It is also important to ensure that your maid of honour is comfortable with all relevant events and activities. If there is anything they are not thrilled about planning or attending, don't force it on them.

In conclusion, when choosing the right maid of honour, consider your relationship with the person, their ability to take on the responsibilities, and your communication and expectations. Remember, there are no rules, and you can customise your wedding party to make your special day less stressful and more enjoyable.

Pros and cons of having two

Having two maids of honor can be a great way to include two important people in your wedding. However, there are some potential challenges to consider. Here are some pros and cons to help you decide if having two maids of honor is right for you:

Pros of Having Two Maids of Honor:

• You don't have to choose between two important people in your life, such as a best friend and a sister, or multiple close friends or family members.
• Having two maids of honor can help distribute responsibilities and tasks, making the planning process less stressful.
• Each maid of honor may have different strengths and areas of expertise, such as organizing, planning, creativity, or dealing with people. This can be beneficial for decision-making and problem-solving.
• You'll have extra love and support throughout the planning process and on your big day.
• Two maids of honor can add a unique and personal touch to your wedding, showing that you value and appreciate both individuals.

Cons of Having Two Maids of Honor:

• Coordinating and communicating with two people instead of one can be challenging and may lead to confusion or disagreements about responsibilities.
• There may be a sense of competition or jealousy between the two maids of honor, which can be stressful for everyone involved.
• Having two maids of honor can be more expensive, as you may need to purchase additional gifts or accessories for both individuals.
• It may be difficult to make decisions about the wedding party, especially if you have two best friends or close family members who both want to be your maid of honor.
• Planning events like the bachelorette party or bridal shower may be more complicated, as you'll need to coordinate with two different schedules and preferences.
• Clashing personalities or jealousy between the maids of honor could result in conflict.

Ultimately, the decision to have two maids of honor should be based on what will make you and your partner happiest on your special day. Consider your relationships with each individual, their personalities, and communication styles, as well as the logistics of having two people fulfill the role.

How to handle having two

Having two maids of honour can be a great way to honour multiple important people in your life and share the workload. Here are some tips on how to handle having two:

Picking the Right People

Start by asking yourself why each person is important to you and why they would be a good fit for the role of maid of honour. Consider what role they have played in your life and what role they will play in your future. Pick people who adore and support you, and who you know will show up for you in countless ways during your wedding planning and beyond. It's also a good idea to choose someone who makes you feel calm and can handle any problems that may arise.

Navigating Dynamics

Ensure you are choosing multiple maids of honour for the right reasons. If you feel hesitant about choosing someone or feel pressured to do so, consider alternatives, such as asking them to be a bridesmaid instead. If you are worried about hurting someone's feelings, communicate your decision early on and explain how much it means to you that they will be a part of your wedding as a bridesmaid.

Dividing Responsibilities

Having two maids of honour can be beneficial when it comes to dividing up the long list of duties, such as planning and coordinating the bachelorette party, wedding dress shopping, and giving a toast. Be clear and specific with duties from the outset to avoid confusion and overlapping. Assign different roles and responsibilities that play to each person's strengths and interests. For example, one maid of honour could be in charge of the bachelorette party, while the other plans the bridal shower.

Outfits and Walks

Instead of one standout outfit, you will need to decide on two. You could have both maids of honour wear the same differentiating detail, such as a bejewelled belt or carry matching bouquets with unique pops of colour. Alternatively, you could have them wear the same print in different silhouettes or choose two coordinating prints that fit your colour palette.

Having two maids of honour also means two important walks down the aisle. Typically, the maid of honour walks with the best man, but if you have two maids of honour and only one best man, you could have him escort both or ask another VIP, such as a brother, to be a second escort. Another option is to have the maids of honour walk separately, each getting their own special moment.

Outfits and walks

Having two maids of honour is acceptable per modern wedding etiquette. It can also be a savvy move when it comes to the logistics of preparing for your big day.

Outfits

If you want your two maids of honour to stand out, you could opt for a different dress style, colour, or pattern. For example, you could have them wear the same dress in different colours, or the same colour in different silhouettes. You could also have them wear the same bejewelled belt or carry matching, slightly different bouquets. If you want to keep things simple, you could give them each a unique hairstyle or a special piece of jewellery.

Walks

There are several options for the walks down the aisle. If there are two maids of honour and one best man, the best man could escort both maids of honour, or you could ask another VIP (such as a brother) to serve as a second escort. The two maids of honour could also walk down the aisle separately, giving an extra nod to their special role.

Frequently asked questions