Ceremony Or Service: What's In A Wedding Name?

A wedding ceremony is a highly personal event, and the structure can vary depending on the couple's preferences, cultural background, and religious beliefs. While the specific rituals and traditions may differ, the fundamental purpose of a wedding ceremony is to unite two people in marriage, often through the exchange of vows and rings, and to celebrate this union with family and friends.

The ceremony is typically led by an officiant, who may be a religious figure, a civil celebrant, or even an ordained friend or family member. This person guides the couple and guests through the proceedings, including the processional, where the wedding party walks down the aisle, the exchange of vows and rings, and the recessional, where the newlyweds walk back up the aisle as a married couple.

In addition to the legal requirements of a completed marriage license and the exchange of vows, the ceremony may include readings, music, and symbolic acts such as lighting a unity candle or exchanging garlands. The specific order of events and the level of customisation can vary based on cultural and religious traditions, with some ceremonies, like Catholic weddings, having stricter requirements.

Ultimately, the wedding ceremony is a celebration of love and commitment, and the structure can be tailored to reflect the couple's unique story and values.

The Processional

The Order of the Processional

• Officiant: The officiant is usually the first to walk down the aisle and take their place at the altar. They may also enter from the side of the venue.
• Groom: The groom may enter from the side of the venue or walk down the aisle, sometimes escorted by both parents.
• Best Man: The best man may walk in from the same side as the groom or walk down the aisle alone. They take their place next to the groom at the altar.
• Groomsmen: The groomsmen typically enter one by one, in order of who will stand farthest from the groom.
• Bridesmaids: The bridesmaids walk down the aisle before the maid of honor, either one by one or in pairs with the groomsmen.
• Maid of Honor: The maid of honor checks the bride's dress, veil, and train before walking down the aisle and standing by the bride's side. She may also hold the bride's bouquet and the groom's ring during the ceremony.
• Flower Girl and Ring Bearer: Traditionally, the ring bearer carries the wedding rings on a small pillow, and the flower girl scatters flower petals. They may walk together or separately and then take their seats with their parents.
• Bride and Father of the Bride: The bride is traditionally escorted down the aisle by her father, who stands on her right side. He may lift her veil, give her a kiss, and take his seat next to the bride's mother.

Variations and Customizations

While the above order is a common tradition, it is not set in stone. Couples can customize the processional to suit their preferences and family dynamics. Here are some alternative options:

• The officiant may already be waiting at the end of the aisle.
• Grandparents can be included in the processional.
• The groom's mother can walk him down the aisle.
• The wedding party can mix things up by alternating bridesmaids and groomsmen as they walk down the aisle.
• For blended families, the stepmother can walk in behind the mother of the bride.
• The groom can be sent in right before the ring bearer and flower girl.
• The bride and groom can walk in as a couple at the end of the processional.
• The bride can be escorted by both parents or just her mother.
• The bride can walk down the aisle alone or with someone else meaningful, such as a grandparent, uncle, or brother.
• The bride can walk in with her children if she has any.
• The bride can be accompanied by a four-legged friend.
• The stepfather and father of the bride can walk the bride halfway down the aisle, and then the father takes her the rest of the way.

The Officiant's Opening Remarks

Hello, and welcome, everyone! We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of [bride's name] and [groom's name] in marriage. We are so glad you could make it and be a part of their love story.

Welcoming the Couple

Now, let's give a warm welcome to our happy couple! Please stand as you see fit and welcome [bride's name] and [groom's name]!

Welcoming the Guests

Thank you all for joining us today. We are thrilled to have you here to witness and celebrate the marriage of [bride's name] and [groom's name]. Your presence here today means so much to the couple, and we are excited to have you be a part of this special day.

A Word on Photos and Phones

Before we continue, a quick reminder. The couple has requested that we [allow/refrain] from taking photos and videos during the ceremony. Please ensure your phones are on silent mode to avoid any interruptions.

A Light-Hearted Moment

Especially the groom and groomsmen—let's make sure everything is turned off, guys! We don't want any unexpected interruptions during this beautiful ceremony.

A Thank You

With that, let's begin. Again, thank you all for being here. We are about to witness a very special moment as [bride's name] and [groom's name] declare their love and commitment to one another.

A Story About the Couple

[Bride's name] and [groom's name] have known each other for many years and have shared countless experiences together. They have supported each other through life's twists and turns and have always been each other's rock. Their love and dedication to one another have only grown stronger over time, and today, they are ready to take the next step in their journey together.

A Word on Marriage

Marriage is a sacred bond that symbolizes the depth of their love and commitment. It is a choice they make every day to honour, support, and cherish each other. It is a promise to stand by each other through life's joys and sorrows, embracing all that the future holds.

A Final Greeting

So, without further ado, let us continue with the ceremony and witness the beautiful vows that [bride's name] and [groom's name] have prepared for each other.

Readings, Poems, and/or Music

The readings, poems, and music you choose for your wedding ceremony will set the tone for your special day. Whether you're looking for something traditional, modern, romantic, or funny, there are plenty of options to choose from. Here are some ideas to get you started:

Readings

• If you're including readings in your ceremony, you can ask your wedding officiant for advice and suggestions. They may have a list of popular wedding readings that you can choose from.
• You can also find non-religious and religious wedding readings online or in books. Some popular choices include excerpts from "The Alchemist," "The Gift of the Sea," "The Bridge Across Forever," "Captain Corelli's Mandolin," and "The Prophet."
• Bible readings are also a popular choice for religious ceremonies. Some common options include 1 Corinthians 13, Matthew 19:4-6, and Genesis 2:24-28.

Poems

• There are many beautiful and romantic wedding poems that you can use for readings or include in your vows or speeches. Some popular choices include "I Carry Your Heart With Me" by E.E. Cummings, "The One" (author unknown), "This Day I Married My Best Friend" (author unknown), and "Wedding Prayer" by Robert Louis Stevenson.
• If you're looking for something more traditional, consider "Love's Philosophy Love and Friendship Extract" by Emily Bronte, "How Do I Love Thee?" by Elizabeth Barrett Browning, or "Sonnet 116" by William Shakespeare.
• For a touch of humour, try "The Owl and the Pussy Cat" by Edward Lear, "The Married Lover" by Coventry Patmore, or "Dear Heart" by Hayley Gait-Golding.
• Religious wedding poems or readings are a great way to honour your faith. Consider the Bible verse from Ecclesiastes: 4:9-12 or the Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi.

Music

• The music you choose for your wedding ceremony will also play a big part in setting the mood. Consider having prelude music as your guests arrive and take their seats.
• For the processional, when the wedding party walks down the aisle, you might choose something traditional like the "Bridal Chorus" by Richard Wagner or something more modern like "A Thousand Years" by Christina Perri.
• For the recessional, when the newlyweds walk back up the aisle, you can choose an upbeat song like "Best Day of My Life" by American Authors or "Ho Hey" by Lumineers.
• If you're having a religious ceremony, you might include hymns that are meaningful to you.
• Work with your wedding musicians or DJ to choose the perfect songs for your ceremony and create a playlist that reflects your unique style.

The Exchange of Vows and Rings

• Introduction by the officiant: The officiant welcomes the guests and thanks them for their presence as witnesses. They may also share a brief recounting of the couple's love story or thoughts on the meaning of marriage.
• Exchange of vows: The couple takes turns reciting their vows, which can be personally written or traditional. This is often the most emotional part of the ceremony.
• Ring exchange: After the vows, the couple exchanges wedding bands. The officiant can introduce this part by explaining the significance of the ring exchange. The couple may choose to include a few simple words or a longer quote during this exchange. Some couples may also opt to combine their ring exchange with their vows.
• Declaration of intent: Also known as the "I do's," this is the legally binding part of the ceremony where the couple verbally acknowledges their choice to marry each other.
• Closing remarks: The officiant may offer a final prayer, blessing, or words of encouragement to the couple.

• "I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and faithfulness."
• "With this ring, I join my life with yours."
• "I give you this ring, which is a symbol of my love and commitment to you."
• "With this ring, I happily marry you and join my life to yours forevermore."
• "You are the love of my life and my very best friend."
• "I give you this ring as a symbol of my unconditional love. With it, I promise to walk by your side and share both joy and sorrow."
• "I give you this ring as a reminder that I will love, honor, and cherish you, always."
• "With this ring, I thee wed. As a symbol of my love and commitment, I give you this ring, a circle unbroken, a token of my everlasting trust and devotion."
• "I give you this ring as a symbol of our marriage, for today and tomorrow, and for all the days to come."
• "I choose you now and always. This ring is a symbol of the vows I have made to you and a reminder that our lives are forever joined together."

The Pronouncement and First Kiss

The pronouncement traditionally comes after the signing of the registry or guest book. The officiant will say something along the lines of, "I now pronounce you husband and wife" or "I now pronounce you as married". This is usually followed by, "You may kiss your bride" or "You may share your first married kiss".

The kiss is a significant moment as it signifies the release of tension in the room, marking the transition from a formal ceremony to a celebration. It is also the moment when the couple is officially married.

There are different opinions on whether the pronouncement should come before or after the kiss. Some believe that having the pronouncement first provides a clear cue for the guests, allowing them to cheer and clap before the recessional music starts. Others prefer the kiss before the pronouncement as it creates a more jovial atmosphere, with guests free to share their excitement and the wedding party able to relax and chat.

Ultimately, the decision on the order of the pronouncement and first kiss can be made by the couple, taking into consideration their preferences and the overall flow of the ceremony.

• "I now pronounce you [preferred titles]. You may now seal your promise/union/marriage with a kiss."
• "I now pronounce you [preferred titles]. And now for your first kiss as a married couple."
• "I now pronounce you [preferred titles]. You may now kiss each other."
• "I now pronounce you [preferred titles]. Let's begin the adventure of marriage with a kiss."
• "I now pronounce you [preferred titles]. Now might be a good time to kiss."
• "I now pronounce that they are [preferred titles]. Those whom God hath joined together, let no one put asunder."
• "I now pronounce you [preferred titles]. You have kissed a thousand times, maybe more. But today, the feeling is new."

Frequently asked questions