Shabbat And Weddings: Can They Coexist In Judaism?

Weddings are prohibited on Shabbat, the Jewish Sabbath, which is considered the most holy day of the year. This is because, according to the Bible, God rested on the seventh day after creating the world in six days. As such, work and travel are not permitted on Shabbat. However, there are some rabbis who are willing to officiate weddings on Shabbat.

Weddings on Shabbat are prohibited in Jewish law

Although contemporary Jews and Jewish movements may not view weddings as legal transactions, most rabbis still maintain the custom of not officiating weddings on these days. This is also because the Rabbinic sages taught that "we do not mix one simchah (happiness) with another".

In addition, there are practical reasons why weddings are not held on Shabbat. For example, no writing is permitted on the Sabbath, but the signing of the ketubah (the Jewish wedding contract) is required. While the ketubah could theoretically be signed prior to Shabbat by two witnesses who also watch the ceremony, this may be difficult to arrange.

Another issue is the exchange of rings. In traditional Jewish weddings, the groom gives the bride a ring as a condition listed in the ketubah, which may be considered muksah (something prohibited from being touched on Shabbat because it is used for business). However, in modern times, this practice has changed, and double ring ceremonies are now standard, so the ring exchange should not present a problem.

Furthermore, on the Sabbath, one is not supposed to go out of their way to break something. However, at the end of traditional Jewish weddings, the groom steps on a glass. While this is just one of the many traditions that can be included or excluded, it may be seen as a problem for those who wish to strictly observe Shabbat.

Finally, there are several considerations regarding the timing of a Shabbat wedding. For example, if the wedding is held on a Friday evening or Saturday during the day, some family members or guests may have to choose between attending the wedding and their worship. In addition, if the couple wishes to include Jewish elements in their ceremony, they may need to reconcile these with the restrictions of Shabbat. While some rabbis will officiate weddings on Shabbat, others will not, so the couple may need to find a rabbi who is willing to perform the ceremony.

Shabbat is a day of rest, and no work is allowed

Shabbat is a day of rest and, as such, no work is allowed. This means that certain activities are prohibited, including driving, writing, and turning on electric lights.

Historically, weddings involved a monetary transaction and the signing of a legal contract, both of which were considered forms of work. As a result, Jewish law prohibits weddings on Shabbat, as well as on Rosh HaShanah, Yom Kippur, and the first and last days of festivals such as Passover and Sukkot.

While some rabbis maintain the custom of not officiating at weddings on Shabbat, there are those who are willing to do so, particularly Reform rabbis. Some couples choose to have the wedding ceremony after Shabbat concludes at nightfall. However, this can be impractical during the summer months when the days are longer, and in the winter when it becomes dark earlier in the day.

In addition to the practical considerations, there are also religious and cultural reasons why weddings are not typically held on Shabbat. Each opportunity for joy and celebration is meant to be observed individually and not combined with another. This is why two members of the same family would not be married on the same day.

Furthermore, Shabbat is considered the most holy day of the year in Jewish tradition, even more so than Rosh HaShanah or Yom Kippur. As such, it is seen as a day to gather with friends and family and reflect on what is most important in one's life. By having a wedding on Shabbat, the couple and their guests may not be able to fully rest and honour the sanctity of the day.

Overall, while it is possible for Jews to get married on Shabbat, particularly with a Reform rabbi, it is generally discouraged due to the religious, cultural, and practical considerations outlined above.

Weddings are considered a form of work

Historically, weddings involved a monetary transaction and the signing of a legal contract, both of which were considered forms of work. In addition, the rabbinic sages taught that weddings should not be celebrated on these days as it is believed that "we do not mix one simchah (happiness) with another".

The prohibition on weddings during these times has been maintained by most rabbis, even though contemporary Jews and Jewish movements may not view weddings as legal business transactions. However, there are some rabbis who are willing to officiate at weddings on Shabbat, especially in the case of Reform Judaism, where the language of the ketubah (the Jewish wedding contract) focuses on love, sacred bonds, covenants, relationships, commitments, and responsibilities, rather than finances.

While there may be ways to navigate certain elements of a wedding ceremony to avoid breaking the Sabbath, such as signing the ketubah before the start of Shabbat or using a plain wedding band, the act of getting married on Shabbat itself is still considered by many to be a form of work and therefore prohibited.

The ketubah, a wedding contract, involves a monetary transaction

The ketubah is a unilateral agreement drawn by witnesses in accordance with Jewish civil law, in which they attest to the groom's actions, promises, and statements, and to the bride's willing acceptance of the marriage proposal. It is not a mutual agreement; the wife agrees only to accept the husband's proposal of marriage.

The ketubah outlines the husband's responsibilities towards his wife, emphasising his obligation to provide her with food, clothing, and other physical necessities throughout the marriage. It also mentions the husband's obligation to provide financial support in the event of a divorce.

The ketubah was originally established to ensure that the wife is protected in case the marriage ends prematurely – due to divorce or the death of the husband. In effect, the ketubah was put in place to incentivise the husband to stay married to his wife.

The ketubah is designed for the woman's protection, and every legal nuance in this matter was developed so that her husband shall not regard it as easy to divorce her. In a male-oriented society, the woman always needed more defence against the violation of personal rights than the man. The ketubah required money to be paid by the husband in case of divorce. This made it difficult for the husband to divorce his wife without appropriate reflection and consideration.

The ketubah is not a ceremonial document of scripture or prayer. That is why it is written in Aramaic, the technical legal language of Talmudic law, rather than in Hebrew, the language of the "Song of Songs". It is also not a state document establishing a new relationship between a man and a woman. It makes no mention of the confirmation of God or of society.

The ketubah is a charter of a woman's rights in marriage and of a man's duties. It is a statement of law that provides the framework of love.

The ring exchange can be considered a business transaction

In Judaism, weddings are prohibited on Shabbat, a day of rest, as well as on Rosh HaShanah, Yom Kippur, and the first and last days of festivals like Passover and Sukkot. This is because weddings have historically involved a monetary transaction and the signing of a legal contract, which are considered forms of work.

The exchange of rings, which is now an integral part of Jewish weddings, can be considered a business transaction. The ring is a money equivalent, or "shaveh kessef", and is one of the original three legal acts of acquisition. By giving the bride a ring, the groom is effectively giving her the monetary sum required to make her his bride. The ring carries a certain minimal monetary value, which means it can be used for the bride price. The groom is not, however, buying the bride or owning her as his slave. Instead, what he is "buying" is exclusive intimacy with her. By accepting the ring, the bride agrees that she will not have intimate relations with anyone other than her groom.

The law regarding the ring exchange is as follows:

• The ring should be of plain metal, preferably gold, and without precious stones to avoid possible misrepresentation on the groom's part. The bride only needs to be aware that the ring is worth a minimum of a "pe'rutah", a low-valued coin.
• The ring must belong to the groom, who may borrow it from someone on the condition that he returns it after the wedding.
• The bride should not put the ring over a glove.
• The ring should be placed on the bride's index finger, not her "ring finger", as the index finger is considered the most active finger and a symbol that the ring is being accepted as an act sealing the transaction.
• The groom must first propose by reciting the marriage formula and only then place the ring on her finger. It is the bride's silent consent after the proposal that seals the matter.
• The witnesses must be specifically assigned and must be assured that the ring has the minimal requisite value. They must clearly see the groom's action, hear what he says, and be satisfied that the bride accepts with willing consent.

In summary, the procedure for the ring exchange is as follows:

• The groom, or best man, gives the rabbi the ring.
• The groom specifies the witnesses.
• The rabbi shows the ring to the witnesses to ascertain its minimal value.
• The rabbi asks the groom if the ring belongs to him and if it is of this minimal value.
• The bride lifts her veil, if it covers her eyes.
• The groom takes the ring and recites the proposal.
• He then places the ring on her index finger in the presence of the witnesses (she may move it to her ring finger after the ceremony).
• The bride replaces the veil.

The ring is usually made of gold, which carries monetary value and does not tarnish or attract dirt, symbolizing the hope for a lasting and beautiful marriage. Sometimes, a connection is drawn to the rings of gold mentioned in the Tabernacle in Exodus 26:29. Silver is also used, as it is a common metal for money.

The continuity of the solid band is a reminder of eternal love and unwavering stability. The circle is considered the most perfect of all forms in nature, symbolizing the hope for a beautiful, perfect marriage, even though the couple is only human and sometimes irrational.

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