Double The Joy: Two Wedding Ceremonies, One Love

Having two wedding ceremonies is becoming increasingly common, especially with the impact of COVID-19 on the ease of international travel. There are many reasons why a couple may choose to have two wedding ceremonies, including wanting to get married abroad, having family and friends in different locations, or wanting to include different traditions and beliefs. Some couples may also opt for a smaller, more intimate ceremony followed by a larger-scale celebration. Having two wedding ceremonies can also be a way to honour different heritages and beliefs, especially for couples who are blending backgrounds. Ultimately, the decision to have two wedding ceremonies is a personal one, and there are many factors to consider when planning multiple weddings, such as budgeting, guest lists, and legal requirements.

Civil and religious ceremonies

When planning multiple wedding ceremonies, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is essential to consider the legal requirements, especially if one of the ceremonies is a destination wedding. Some countries have complicated legal procedures for marriages, so it is crucial to navigate these requirements beforehand. Secondly, having two weddings can be a lot of work, so it is beneficial to set realistic budgets and priorities for each celebration. This may involve having one wedding that is more customised and another that is less detailed, allowing for a more relaxed planning process.

Additionally, the wedding party and guests should only be expected to attend one of the ceremonies. It is unreasonable to require them to purchase attire, travel arrangements, and accommodations for two separate events. Couples can choose to keep the civil ceremony intimate, with only a few close family members and friends, and then host a larger celebration for the religious ceremony. This approach ensures that the couple can include all their loved ones in the festivities while also managing their budget and planning workload effectively.

When it comes to attire, couples may opt for two different sets of outfits that complement each venue. For instance, the first wedding could be formal, while the second could be a casual cocktail party, allowing the couple to express their style and adapt to the unique environments of each location.

Home and abroad

Having two wedding ceremonies, one at home and one abroad, is a great way to include all your family and friends in the celebrations. It is also a practical solution if you want to get married abroad but find the legal requirements for a wedding at your chosen destination too complicated.

If you're planning two wedding receptions, it's a good idea to make one more custom and the other less detailed to reduce your workload. For example, you could have the first wedding at a private estate, and the second at a resort that includes everything you need except flowers and attire.

You'll also want to consider having two different aesthetics and outfits that work well with each venue. While the first wedding may be very formal, you might opt for a casual cocktail party for the second.

It's worth noting that planning two weddings is hard work and can be expensive. You'll need to manage two wedding budgets and may need to prioritise certain aspects of one wedding over the other. It's important to be realistic and set a budget that you and your families are comfortable with to save yourself stress.

You don't have to tell your guests about both ceremonies if you don't want to. Some couples prefer to keep the civil ceremony a secret and let guests think the ceremony they were invited to was the only celebration. However, it's important to let friends and family know that they're under no obligation to attend both weddings.

Multiple heritages and beliefs

Couples with multiple heritages and beliefs may opt for two wedding ceremonies to honour their different backgrounds and incorporate their unique customs and traditions. This is particularly common when couples are from different countries and want to celebrate with their respective families. For instance, a couple with Italian and Filipino heritage chose to have two weddings to incorporate both cultures into their nuptials. In the first wedding, they celebrated the Italian Catholic roots with a ceremony in Lake Como, Italy. In the second wedding, they included Christian Filipino wedding traditions, such as the passing of the coin and the presenting of the cord.

In some cases, couples may choose to blend two different religions into a single ceremony. For example, a Jewish-Catholic wedding may include large parts of a Catholic mass, such as certain readings and the 'peace be with you' handshake. Similarly, a Jewish-Muslim wedding can be arranged by consulting both a Rabbi and an Imam to figure out how to intertwine blessings and incorporate traditions from both religions.

For couples with vastly different backgrounds, it may be more feasible to have two separate ceremonies to honour each heritage authentically. For instance, a couple with Hindu and Episcopalian backgrounds chose to have two separate ceremonies to enjoy the fullness of each other's traditions. They made small changes to both ceremonies to make them more accessible to their guests, such as changing some of the wording in the Christian service and hiring a Hindu priest who explained the significance of each part of the ceremony in English.

In addition to cultural and religious considerations, there may be legal requirements that make it necessary to have two wedding ceremonies, especially when getting married abroad.

Immigration and visa issues

If you are married to a US citizen or permanent resident, you can apply for a US lawful permanent residence, otherwise known as a marriage-based immigrant visa or green card. To be eligible, you must show that:

• You are legally married.
• Your marriage is bona fide (genuine, not just for a green card).
• Proof of the US spouse's citizenship or permanent residence status.
• That neither of you is already married to someone else.

A legal marriage is one that is officially recognised by the government in the country or state where the wedding took place. This usually means that an official record of the marriage was made or can be obtained from a government office. A marriage certificate is the most common form of proof.

However, a religious or traditional marriage may be valid for US immigration purposes, even without being registered with civil authorities. If the marriage was recognised in the place where it was formed, it may be valid. In some countries, religious ceremonies are recognised and a church-issued marriage record may be accepted. In other countries, religious ceremonies are performed but not recognised, and so a civil record is required.

If you are planning to marry abroad, it is important to research the marriage laws of that country, as well as the US State Department's Reciprocity Tables, which outline the availability of marriage records in different countries. This will help you determine what documents you need to provide for your visa application.

Family illness

Hosting two wedding ceremonies is becoming increasingly common, and there are many reasons why a couple may choose to do so. One reason is to accommodate family illness. In such cases, the couple may opt for a small, intimate ceremony first, followed by a larger celebration at a later date. This allows for the inclusion of family members who may be unable to attend the main ceremony due to illness or mobility issues.

For instance, a couple may choose to have a small civil ceremony in one location, followed by a larger religious ceremony or reception in another, ensuring that loved ones who are unable to travel can still be a part of the celebration. This option provides flexibility and ensures that no family members are left out due to illness or other limitations.

When planning two wedding ceremonies, it is essential to create separate budgets, guest lists, and timelines for each event. The couple should also be mindful of guests who may be attending both ceremonies and provide them with the necessary accommodations or transportation.

Additionally, the couple can find ways to honour and acknowledge the family member who is ill during the ceremony. This can be done through a charm on the bouquet with their picture, including a small section at the reception to acknowledge them, or having the officiant share a few words about them during the ceremony.

By having two wedding ceremonies, the couple can ensure that all their loved ones, regardless of their health or location, can be a part of their special day.

Frequently asked questions