Sons Walking Mothers Down The Aisle: Who Gives Her Away?

While traditionally, fathers or male family members walk their daughters or brides down the aisle, there is a growing trend of mothers or female family members taking on this role. In the case of a mother giving her son away at his wedding, it is not uncommon for the son to be walked down the aisle by his mother, especially in the case of a second wedding, where the traditional rules do not always apply.

Wording suggestions for when a child gives their mother away

It is not uncommon for a mother to be walked down the aisle by her son or sons at her wedding. However, the traditional wording of "Who gives this woman away?" can be problematic in this situation, as it may imply that the mother is the one being given away. Here are some alternative wording suggestions for when a child gives their mother away:

• "Who presents this couple for marriage?" followed by the children's affirmative response.
• "Who supports the marriage of this man and this woman?" with the children responding, "Her children do."
• "Who invites this man to join this family?" with the children responding, "We do."
• "Who gives this bride away?" with the children responding, "Her children do."

These alternative wordings shift the focus from the traditional "giving away" of the bride to a more modern and inclusive phrasing that acknowledges the mother's children as an important part of the ceremony.

It is worth noting that some people choose to omit the "giving away" phrase entirely and instead let the symbolism of the mother being escorted by her children speak for itself. Ultimately, the wording can be customised to fit the unique dynamics and preferences of the family.

Whether the officiant needs to ask who gives this bride away

Asking "Who gives this bride away?" is a long-held tradition in wedding ceremonies, stemming from the notion of a woman being considered her father's "property". In modern times, this question is often rephrased to be more inclusive and progressive, such as "Who supports/blesses/affirms [bride's name] in her wedding to [groom's name] today?".

Whether or not the officiant needs to ask this question is entirely up to the couple. Some couples may prefer to omit this part of the ceremony altogether, especially if the bride is being escorted by someone other than her father, such as her mother or children. In such cases, the person escorting the bride down the aisle can simply take their seat after reaching the front, without any words being exchanged.

However, if the couple wishes to include this tradition in their ceremony, there are several ways to do so. One option is to have the officiant ask a general question, such as "Who has the honour of presenting this woman, as she is married to this man?". This allows for flexibility in the response, which can be given by the person escorting the bride, or even by both parents, such as "Her mother and I do".

Another option is to address the escort directly, using their name. For example, "James, do you give Sarah to be married to John today?". This option is more personal and natural, acknowledging the presence of the escort by name.

It is worth noting that the timing of this question can also vary. Some couples may prefer to have it right after the bride reaches the front, while others may opt for it to be included in the officiant's opening remarks. Ultimately, the decision on whether and how to include this tradition rests with the couple, and they can choose to adapt it to fit their unique circumstances and preferences.

The symbolism of a child walking their mother down the aisle

The tradition of a father walking his daughter down the aisle and "giving her away" is steeped in sexism and originates from a time when daughters were considered their father's property. In its earliest form, marriage was a business transaction, and the act of walking the bride down the aisle represented the father entrusting his daughter to her new husband's care.

In modern times, the tradition has evolved, and it is now widely accepted for brides to be escorted by someone other than their father, such as a child, their soon-to-be spouse, a sibling, their mother, or both parents.

For mothers, the ability to stand in solidarity with their child at the altar and give their blessing to the marriage is incredibly meaningful. It is a way for them to show their support and be a part of this important moment in their child's life.

Having a child walk the bride down the aisle can also be a practical solution in certain situations. For example, if the bride's father is absent, ill, or deceased, it makes sense for the child to step in and accompany the bride.

Ultimately, the decision of who walks the bride down the aisle should be based on what feels right for the individual. It is a personal choice that symbolises their core values and allows them to honour their most significant relationships as they embark on their marriage journey.

Mothers giving their daughters away

While the tradition of "giving away the bride" is rooted in sexism and ownership, the practice has evolved to be more inclusive and progressive. Nowadays, the moment often signifies a seamless joining of two families, or the bride's transition from an old life to a new one.

In modern weddings, anyone can give away the bride. It is usually someone with whom the couple trusts and feels comfortable, such as either parent, a step-parent, a sibling, a grandparent, or a close friend.

If a mother is giving away her daughter, she can walk her down the aisle, or they can both walk with the bride's father. Alternatively, the mother can be included in the giving away of the bride through the wording of the ceremony. For example, the officiant can ask, "Who gives this woman to be married today?" and the answer can be, "Her mother and I do."

There are also a few other options for mothers giving away their daughters. The mother can walk with her daughter and the officiant can ask, "James and Peggy, do you support Sarah's wedding to John today?" using the names of the couple. Another option is to have no words at all and simply have the arrival set to music.

Children blessing and supporting their mother's marriage

Children can play a significant role in blessing and supporting their mother's marriage. This can be especially meaningful if the mother is experiencing her second wedding, as it demonstrates the children's acceptance and endorsement of the union.

One way for children to show their support is by actively participating in the wedding ceremony. For example, a son can walk his mother down the aisle, symbolising his blessing of the marriage. This gesture can be further emphasised if the mother also has a daughter who can join them as a bridesmaid. When the officiant asks, "Who gives this bride away?", the children can respond with "Her children do", signifying their consent and support for their mother's marriage.

Alternatively, the children can be invited to offer a blessing over the couple during the ceremony. For instance, the officiant can first ask the children to bless and support the marriage, followed by the families and then the assembled guests. This not only demonstrates the children's support but also involves them directly in the ceremony, making it a memorable and meaningful experience for all involved.

The children's involvement in the wedding ceremony can be customised to fit the unique dynamics of each family. For instance, younger children can be included by having them walk the mother down the aisle, adding a touch of cuteness to the occasion. Older children, on the other hand, may prefer to participate in other ways, such as through a reading or a speech.

Ultimately, the children's presence and participation in the wedding ceremony symbolise their blessing and support for their mother's marriage. It is a way for them to show their love and acceptance of the union, and it can be a powerful moment for everyone involved.

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