Attending A Wedding While In Prison: Is It Possible?

Can someone get out of prison to attend a wedding?

In the US, federal law allows prisoners to be released temporarily for a variety of reasons, including to attend a funeral or to visit a dying relative. However, it is unclear whether this temporary release extends to attendance at a wedding.

While marriage is a fundamental right that must be easily accessible and protected, even for prisoners, the process of getting married while incarcerated is challenging and often bureaucratic. Most prisons have strict rules surrounding marriages, and the presence of guests is often restricted to immediate family members or a limited number of people.

In some cases, an inmate may be permitted to get married if the wedding poses no risk to the institution's security and does not interfere with their rehabilitation. Ultimately, prison officials have the final say in whether an inmate is allowed to marry, and each correctional facility has its own regulations, so it is essential to check the specific rules of the prison in question.

Prison weddings: what's allowed?

Prison weddings are a unique challenge, and the process can be stressful. However, it is possible to get married while incarcerated, and many couples choose to do so. The process will vary depending on the prison and the state, so it is important to contact the specific facility for detailed instructions. Here is a general overview of what to expect when planning a prison wedding.

Planning the Wedding

The first step is to confirm that the prison allows weddings. Most American prisons permit inmates to marry, but there may be restrictions for specific institutions and inmates. Once confirmed, the non-incarcerated spouse typically handles the legalities and arrangements. This includes obtaining a marriage license and completing any necessary paperwork. The couple may also need to participate in premarital counselling and express their intention to marry in writing. It is important to be aware of the prison's dress code and other security restrictions when planning the wedding.

The Ceremony

Prison weddings are typically small affairs, with only the officiant and a few witnesses present. The witnesses are usually fellow inmates or people from the prisoner's approved visitation list, and family or friends are generally not allowed to attend. The ceremony may be held in a visiting area or a chapel, and there may be time limits and restrictions on physical contact. Some facilities may allow for more traditional weddings with guests and regular wedding attire, while others may require the inmate to wear their prison uniform.

After the Wedding

Married inmates are not given any additional privileges, and conjugal visits are typically not allowed, even after the wedding. However, spouses may be able to visit more often and receive special treatment as close family members. Maintaining communication and connection after the wedding is important, as the time apart can be challenging.

Paperwork for a prison wedding

Overview

The first step in planning a prison wedding is confirming that the prison allows weddings. Certain restrictions apply to particular correctional institutions and inmates. Contact the prison to find out whether weddings can be performed during inmate visitation time.

The non-incarcerated future spouse is usually responsible for the formalities and preparations related to the wedding. This includes obtaining special permissions and information on state laws.

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Choosing an officiant

• Consider the type of ceremony you want: The type of ceremony you envision will determine the kind of officiant you choose. If you're planning a traditional religious ceremony, you'll need to select a religious leader such as a priest, rabbi, or imam who aligns with your faith. If you prefer a modern or non-traditional ceremony, you may opt for a non-denominational officiant, interfaith minister, judge, or civil officiant.
• Ask about their experience and comfort level: It's essential to choose an officiant who is experienced in officiating weddings and comfortable with public speaking. They should be able to project their voice and manage the flow of the ceremony effectively. Ask potential officiants about their experience, including the number of weddings they've officiated and their level of comfort with public speaking.
• Decide between a civil officiant and a loved one: If you're having a secular ceremony, you can choose between hiring a civil officiant or asking a friend or family member to officiate. Civil officiants have experience and can ensure a smooth process, but they may not provide the same level of personal touch. On the other hand, a friend or family member can add a more intimate feel to the ceremony, but they may have less experience and feel added pressure.
• Consider your budget: Hiring a civil officiant will incur additional costs, so consider your budget when making your decision. If you choose a friend or family member, you may offer to cover any costs associated with their certification or travel.
• Ask the right questions: When interviewing potential officiants, ask questions that will help you determine their suitability. For religious officiants, inquire about their experience, whether they will give a sermon, their ability to officiate interfaith ceremonies, and any donations expected. For civil officiants, ask about their experience, their typical ceremony outline, personalisation options, and their comfort with public speaking. If considering a friend or family member, ensure they understand the responsibilities and have the necessary time commitment.
• Give them ample time: Provide your chosen officiant with plenty of time to prepare. This includes sharing your expectations, stories, and allowing them to meet your families. It's essential for them to understand your vision and what you want from the ceremony.
• Be clear about your wishes: Communicate your desires for the ceremony clearly to your officiant. Discuss your preferences regarding religious or cultural rituals, the tone of the ceremony, the inclusion of songs or readings, the length of the ceremony, and whether you want a rehearsal.
• Allow them to ask questions: Encourage your officiant to ask you and your partner questions to get to know you better. This will enable them to personalise the ceremony and celebrate your unique love story.

Guest lists and dress codes

Guest lists for prison weddings are often very limited. In some cases, only the officiant and a few witnesses will be in attendance. The witnesses are usually fellow inmates or those on the prisoner's approved visitation list, and they are not always required. Some facilities may allow immediate family members or a small number of guests, but friends are typically not permitted to attend.

Guests may need to pass background checks or be approved in advance. They may also be subject to clothing restrictions, such as a ban on heels, open-toed shoes, or revealing clothing. It's important to check the dress code guidelines for guests with the prison facility.

The dress code for the couple getting married also varies depending on the facility. In some cases, the inmate may be required to wear their prison uniform, while their spouse may not be allowed to wear a formal tuxedo or gown. It's best to avoid revealing clothing and items with metal, as these can set off metal detectors. Clothing with multiple pockets or places to store contraband may also be restricted.

Keeping in touch after the wedding

While it may be difficult to stay connected with your incarcerated spouse, there are several ways to keep in touch after the wedding.

Writing Letters

Writing letters is a great way to stay connected. However, sending physical letters can be demanding due to the restrictions on inmates. To make this process easier, you can use a service like DoNotPay, which allows you to write to your spouse, prints a physical copy, addresses it, and sends it on your behalf.

Sending Care Packages

Sending care packages to your incarcerated spouse is another way to stay connected and cheer them up. You can send them gifts, pictures, and other goods to let them know you're thinking of them.

In-Person Visits

Although conjugal visits are not typically allowed, you can still visit your spouse in prison. Visits usually take place in common areas, and you may not have much privacy. Visits are also usually limited to a few hours at a time and only a few times a month.

Remember to always follow the prison's rules and regulations when visiting your spouse.

Frequently asked questions