Witnessing Weddings: Can Parents Be Witnesses In The Philippines?

In the Philippines, it is common for parents to be witnesses at weddings and to sign the marriage certificate. Filipino weddings traditionally include parents as witnesses, and they are seen as a symbol of the couple's involvement and approval of the union. While some couples may feel obligated to choose their parents as witnesses due to cultural or family expectations, others may prefer to select close friends. It is essential to consider the advantages and disadvantages of having parents as witnesses and to communicate the decision respectfully with family members. In civil weddings in the Philippines, couples are required to bring at least two witnesses and two pairs of ninong/ninang, who are the godfather and godmother, respectively.

Filipino wedding traditions

Filipino weddings are a blend of modern and historic customs, with around 80% of Filipinos being Catholic. The wedding is often a celebration of two families coming together, rather than just the couple. Here are some Filipino wedding traditions:

Formal Introductions and Negotiations

Known as pamamanhikan in Tagalog, this is the first official step in a Filipino wedding. It involves the couple's families meeting for an official proposal. The specifics vary depending on the couple's region, but often include sharing food and drink, exchanging gifts, and discussing wedding plans.

Wedding Announcements

The couple visits the homes of invitees to hand-deliver invitations and ask elders to be wedding godparents or sponsors.

The Bulungan

The bride and groom's families huddle together at the bride's house to quietly make plans and allocate budgets and tasks for the wedding. They do this in whispers to avoid attracting bad spirits and misfortune.

Wedding Preparations

The day before the wedding, family and community members come together to prepare food, decorate, and clear the route for the wedding procession.

Ceremony Traditions

During the ceremony, the couple asks for their parents' blessings by kissing or touching their hands. The parents utter phrases in return, depending on their religion. The couple may also perform a series of rituals with their godparents or sponsors, including:

• The Veil Ceremony: Godparents drape a veil over the couple's heads and shoulders to symbolise being clothed as one and to wish them good health and protection.
• The Cord Ceremony: A ceremonial cord, called a yugal, is wrapped around the couple in a figure-eight pattern to symbolise an eternal bond.
• The Coin Ceremony: The groom gives 13 coins, known as the Arrhae, to his partner as a promise of prosperity.
• The Candle Ceremony: Wedding sponsors light a pair of candles, which the couple then uses to light a unity candle, signifying their union and that of their families.

Post-Ceremony Traditions

• Rice Shower: Grains of rice are thrown over the newlyweds as they exit the church, and sometimes again when they enter their new home or the reception venue.
• Kalamay: The couple is served sticky rice cakes to symbolise "sticking together" in married life.
• Money Dance: Guests attach money to the newlyweds' clothes, which is seen as a sign of good fortune and financial assistance.
• Wedding Performances: The newlyweds and their guests may perform traditional dances, such as the colourful Pangalay or the playful Salidsid.

Witnesses

In a Filipino Catholic wedding, the couple's godparents, or ninong (godfather) and ninang (godmother), typically sign the marriage license as witnesses. However, in civil weddings, the witnesses can be anyone the couple chooses, as long as they are of legal age.

Legal requirements for witnesses

In the Philippines, civil weddings are legally binding and recognised by the state. While the requirements for a civil wedding are less stringent than those for a church wedding, there are still specific requirements that must be met. Here are the legal requirements for witnesses at a wedding in the Philippines:

Number of Witnesses

At least two witnesses must be present at the wedding ceremony and sign the marriage certificate. Some sources suggest that it is common to have two pairs of witnesses, known as "ninong" (godfather) and "ninang" (godmother). It is also possible to have backup witnesses in case the original ones are unable to attend.

Age Requirement

In most jurisdictions, witnesses must be of legal age, typically 18 or older. Minors are generally not allowed to serve as witnesses.

Mental Competence

Witnesses must be of sound mind and capable of understanding the significance of their role.

Identity Verification

Witnesses must provide government-issued identification to prove their identity and ensure the accuracy of the marriage record.

Presence at the Ceremony

Witnesses must be physically present at the wedding ceremony to observe the exchange of vows and sign the marriage certificate or license.

No Conflicts of Interest

Witnesses should not be closely related to either party and should not have a legal interest in the marriage that could compromise their impartiality.

Legal Capacity

Witnesses must not be under the influence of drugs or alcohol at the time of the ceremony. They must have the legal capacity to understand and participate in the proceedings.

Signature

Witnesses are required to sign the marriage certificate or license to prove their presence and participation. In some areas, witness signatures may need to be notarised to be legally binding.

Citizenship or Residency

Some jurisdictions may have specific rules regarding the citizenship or residency status of witnesses. It is important to check the requirements of the local jurisdiction where the wedding will take place.

Language Requirements

In some regions, witnesses must understand and speak the language of the ceremony to ensure they comprehend their role.

Choosing witnesses

Understanding the Role of Witnesses

Witnesses play a significant role in a wedding ceremony. They symbolise the support and validation of your union and attest to the marriage's validity. Traditionally, witnesses were chosen from among the couple's closest friends and family members. Today, couples have more freedom to select witnesses based on personal preferences and meaningful connections.

Cultural and Family Dynamics

Cultural norms and family traditions can influence your choice of witnesses. In some cultures, parental involvement as witnesses is expected, symbolising their approval and blessing of the union. In other cultures, couples have more autonomy in selecting witnesses, and parents play a more guest-like role. In the Philippines, it is common for parents to sign the marriage certificate as witnesses, especially in Catholic weddings.

Advantages and Disadvantages of Having Parents as Witnesses

Having your parents as witnesses can strengthen the bond between you and your parents and symbolise their involvement in your marriage. They have a deep understanding of your journey as a couple, making their role as witnesses significant. However, there are also potential drawbacks to consider. You may worry about the added emotional pressure on your parents or the risk of overshadowing your special day with too much parental involvement.

Alternatives to Parents as Witnesses

If you decide not to have your parents as witnesses, there are alternative options. Close friends, siblings, or other relatives who have played significant roles in your life can be excellent choices. Remember to communicate your decision respectfully with your family members, explaining your choice without diminishing their importance in your life or wedding day.

Legal Considerations

It's important to familiarise yourself with the local laws and regulations regarding wedding witnesses. In most jurisdictions, witnesses must be of legal age, typically 18 or older, and must be mentally competent, meaning they should be of sound mind and capable of understanding their role. They also need to provide government-issued identification and be physically present at the ceremony to observe the exchange of vows and sign the necessary documents. Additionally, there may be specific requirements regarding citizenship, residency, or language proficiency for witnesses in some jurisdictions.

Number of Witnesses

The number of witnesses required can vary. In some places, only one witness is needed, while in others, like the Philippines, two witnesses are typically required for a civil wedding. For a Filipino Catholic wedding, multiple witnesses, including godparents and family friends, may sign the marriage license.

Practical Considerations

When choosing your witnesses, consider individuals who are intimately familiar with your relationship and can be relied upon to fulfil their role on your wedding day. It is also a good idea to choose witnesses who are likely to remain in your life for the long term, as they may be needed as a source of testimony or validation in the future.

In conclusion, the choice of witnesses is a personal decision that should reflect your unique circumstances and preferences. Whether you choose your parents, close friends, or other family members, ensure that your wedding day represents your love and dedication to one another, surrounded by the people who matter most to you.

The role of witnesses

In the Philippines, the witnesses at a wedding are typically the couple's godparents, or "ninong" (godfather) and "ninang" (godmother). They are usually the parents' friends and are expected to sign the marriage license as witnesses. In some cases, family friends or other relatives may also serve as witnesses.

While there is no legal restriction on who can be a witness, it is important to consider the cultural and family dynamics. In some cultures, including the Filipino culture, it is expected that parents act as witnesses, symbolizing their approval and involvement in the union. In other cultures, couples may have more autonomy in selecting witnesses based on personal preferences and meaningful connections.

When choosing witnesses, it is essential to consider the legal requirements, such as the age requirement (typically 18 or older), mental competence, identity verification, and presence at the ceremony. Additionally, it is important to communicate the decision to those involved, especially when deviating from cultural norms or family expectations.

Witnesses in other cultures

The role of witnesses at weddings has evolved over the centuries, with the first traces of wedding witnesses in official records dating back to the 1500s. In ancient Rome, the law required at least 10 witnesses to validate the rite and prevent couples from marrying in secret. Today, the legal validity of a marriage often depends on the presence of at least two witnesses, although the specific requirements vary across cultures and jurisdictions.

In Italy, for instance, the presence of at least two witnesses (one for the bride and one for the groom) is required for both civil and religious ceremonies. These witnesses must be of legal age, have legal capacity, and possess civil rights. Additionally, if the spouses are of foreign nationality, at least one witness must be an Italian citizen.

In some cultures, parental consent and involvement in the wedding ceremony are of utmost importance. For example, in Vietnam, it is rare for a marriage to take place without parental consent, and parents typically play a significant role in the wedding preparations. Similarly, in Colombia, parental consent is a crucial factor in the marriage process, and the father of the bride often organises and partially funds the wedding.

In other cultures, witnesses are chosen from the couple's closest friends or relatives, such as siblings. This practice is common in countries with an Anglo-Saxon tradition, where bridesmaids and groomsmen have become important figures in the wedding party, offering both emotional support and practical assistance to the couple.

In the past, particularly during the Middle Ages, the witnessing of the marriage consummation was also a common practice. This was especially true for royalty or important people whose marriages formed strategic alliances. Witnesses ensured that the marriage was consummated and could later testify to its validity if it was ever questioned.

Frequently asked questions