Personalized Catholic Mass: Choosing Your Own Readings

Planning a wedding can be a stressful task, and for those who want to incorporate their faith into the ceremony, it can be difficult to find the right readings. The Catholic Church has strict guidelines for wedding readings, limiting them to scripture from the Bible. This includes nine options for the first reading from the Old Testament, thirteen options for the second reading from the New Testament, and ten choices for the Gospel. While it is ultimately up to the couple to choose the readings that resonate with them, the priest or deacon may also provide guidance during meetings. The couple may also decide how many readings they would like and who will be reading them. Although it is not common, some churches may require readers to be certified or be members of the Catholic parish.

Suggesting your own readings

Number of Readings

Firstly, it is important to know how many readings you can choose. Typically, there is a minimum of two readings, with one reading from the Old Testament and one from the New Testament. If you are having a full Catholic nuptial mass, there will also be a Gospel reading. Some sources suggest that there can be up to three Scripture readings for the liturgy, with one from the Old Testament, one from the Gospels, and one from the other books of the New Testament.

Choosing the Readings

The readings at a Catholic wedding liturgy are a proclamation of God's Word and the Church's faith about marriage. Therefore, they are usually limited to readings from the scriptures (the Bible). The Book of Common Worship suggests nine options for the first reading from the Old Testament, thirteen options for the second reading from the New Testament, and ten choices for the Gospel.

You can find these readings listed in "The Order for Celebrating Matrimony," the book that guides worship for Catholic weddings. Some popular choices for the Old Testament include the creation story from Genesis, the story of Isaac and Rebekah, Ruth's statement of loyalty to Naomi, and the romantic readings from the Song of Solomon. For the New Testament, popular choices include 1 Corinthians 13 ("Love is patient, love is kind..."), Romans 12 ("Offer your bodies as a living sacrifice..."), and Ephesians 5 ("Husbands should love their wives, just as Christ loved the Church..."). Gospel readings often include John 2 (Jesus turns water into wine at the wedding at Cana), Matthew 19 ("What God has united, man must not separate"), and Mark 10 ("They are no longer two, but one flesh").

Involving Friends and Family

You may also want to involve friends or family members in doing the readings during your ceremony. This can be a special way to include your loved ones in your wedding. However, whether or not this is allowed may depend on the specific church and priest conducting the ceremony. Some churches may require readers to be certified or to belong to the Catholic parish, while others may be more flexible. It is always best to check with your priest or officiant to see what is allowed.

Selecting Readings that Resonate with You

Finally, when selecting your readings, take the time to read through various options and choose the ones that resonate with you and your partner. You may want to reflect on how each reading speaks to your hopes and dreams for your Christian marriage. Discuss your choices with your priest or officiant, who can provide guidance and ensure that your selected readings are appropriate for a Catholic wedding liturgy.

Choosing non-Catholic readers

While it is important to consult with your priest or officiant, having a non-Catholic do a reading at a Catholic wedding is usually not a problem. In fact, many couples choose non-Catholic friends or family members to do readings during their ceremony.

If you are planning on having a Nuptial Mass, there is a minimum of two readings, one from the Old Testament and one from the New Testament. If your wedding is outside of Mass, the format is similar, but without communion.

Old Testament Readings

• Genesis 1:26-28, 31 ("Male and female he created them.")
• Genesis 2:18-24 ("The two of them become one body.")
• Genesis 24:48-51, 58-67 (Isaac and Rebekah's love story)
• Tobit 8:4b-8 ("Allow us to live together to a happy old age.")
• Song of Songs 2:8-10, 14, 16; 8:6-7 ("Stern as death is love.")
• Sirach 26:1-4, 13-16 ("Like the sun rising in the Lord's heavens, the beauty of a virtuous wife is the radiance of her home.")
• Jeremiah 31:31-32a, 33-34a ("I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and the house of Judah.")

New Testament Readings

• Romans 8:31-35, 37-39 ("What will separate us from the love of Christ?")
• Romans 12:1-2, 9-18 ("Offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God.")
• 1 Corinthians 12:31 - 13:8 ("If I do not have love, I gain nothing.")
• Ephesians 5:2, 21-33 ("This is a great mystery, but I speak in reference to Christ and the Church.")
• Colossians 3:12-17 ("And over all these put on love, that is, the bond of perfection.")
• 1 John 3:18-24 ("Love in deed and in truth.")
• 1 John 4:7-12 ("God is love.")

Gospel Readings

• Matthew 5:1-12 ("Rejoice and be glad, for your reward will be great in heaven.")
• Matthew 5:13-16 ("You are the light of the world.")
• Matthew 19:3-6 ("What God has united, man must not separate.")
• Mark 10:6-9 ("They are no longer two, but one flesh.")
• John 2:1-11 ("Jesus did this as the beginning of his signs in Cana in Galilee.")
• John 15:9-12 ("Remain in my love.")
• John 15:12-16 ("This is my commandment: love one another.")

Old Testament readings

The Old Testament readings for a Catholic wedding ceremony are crucial as they centre on several important topics, such as creation, suffering, oneness, joy, and obedience, which are the core ingredients of marriage. Here are some detailed suggestions for Old Testament readings for a Catholic mass wedding:

Genesis 1:26-28, 31

> God said, 'Let us make man in our own image, in the likeness of ourselves, and let them be masters of the fish of the sea, the birds of heaven, the cattle, all the wild beasts and all the reptiles that crawl upon the earth.' God created man in the image of himself, in the image of God he created him, male and female he created them. God blessed them, saying to them, 'Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth and conquer it. Be masters of the fish of the sea, the birds of heaven and all living animals on the earth.' God saw all he had made, and indeed it was very good. The word of the Lord.

Genesis 2:18-24

> The Lord God said, 'It is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him a helpmate.' So from the soil, the Lord God fashioned all the wild beasts and all the birds of heaven. These he brought to the man to see what he would call them; each one was to bear the name the man would give it. The man gave names to all the cattle, all the birds of heaven, and all the wild beasts. But no helpmate suitable for man was found for him. So the Lord God made the man fall into a deep sleep. And while he slept, he took one of his ribs and enclosed it in flesh. The Lord God built the rib he had taken from the man into a woman, and brought her to the man. The man exclaimed: 'This at last is bone from my bones, and flesh from my flesh! This is to be called woman, for this was taken from man.' This is why a man leaves his father and mother and joins himself to his wife, and they become one body. The word of the Lord.

Genesis 24:48-51, 58-67

> Abraham's servant said to Laban, 'I blessed the Lord, God of my master Abraham, who had so graciously led me to choose the daughter of my master's brother for his son. Now tell me whether you are prepared to show kindness and goodness to my master; if not, say so, and I shall know what to do.' Laban and Bethuel replied, 'This is from the Lord; it is not in our power to say yes or no to you. Rebekah is there before you. Take her and go; and let her become the wife of your master's son, as the Lord has decreed.' They called Rebekah and asked her, 'Do you want to leave with this man?' 'I do,' she replied. Accordingly, they let their sister Rebekah go, with her nurse, and Abraham's servant and his men. They blessed Rebekah in these words: 'Sister of ours, increase to thousands and tens of thousands! May your descendants gain possession of the gates of their enemies!' Rebekah and her servants stood up, mounted the camels, and followed the man. The servant took Rebekah and departed. Isaac, who lived in the Negeb, had meanwhile come into the wilderness of the well of Lahai Roi. Now Isaac went walking in the fields as evening fell, and looking up saw camels approaching. And Rebecca looked up and saw Isaac. She jumped down from her camel, and asked the servant, 'Who is that man walking through the fields to meet us?' The servant replied, 'That is my master.' Then she took her veil and hid her face. The servant told Isaac the whole story, and Isaac led Rebecca to his tent and made her his wife; and he loved her. And so Isaac was consoled for the loss of his mother. The word of the Lord.

Book of Tobit 8:4-8

> The parents meanwhile had gone out and shut the door behind them. Tobias rose from the bed, and said to Sarah, 'Get up, my sister! You and I must pray and petition our Lord to win his grace and his protection.' She stood up, and they began praying for protection, and this was how he began: 'You are blessed, O God of our fathers; blessed, too, is your name forever and ever. Let the heavens bless you and all things you have made forevermore. It was you who created Adam, you who created Eve his wife to be his help and support; and from these two, the human race was born. It was you who said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; let us make him a helpmate like himself". And so I do not take my sister for any lustful motive; I do it in singleness of heart. Be kind enough to have pity on her and on me and bring us to old age together.' And together they said, 'Amen, Amen.' The word of the Lord.

Song of Songs 2:8-10,14,16; 8:6-7

> I hear my Beloved. See how he comes leaping on the mountains, bounding over the hills. My Beloved is like a gazelle, like a young stag. See where he stands behind our wall. He looks in at the windows, he peers through the lattice. My beloved lifts up his voice, he says to me, 'Come hen, my love, my lovely one, come. My dove, hiding in the clefts of the rock. In the covert of the cliff, show me your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is beautiful.' My beloved is mine and I am his. Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal on your arm. For love is strong as Death, Jealousy relentless as Sheol. The flash of it is a flash of fire, a flame of the Lord himself. Love no flood can quench, no torrents drown. The word of the Lord.

Book of Sirach 26:1-4

> A loving partner is a safe shelter, whoever finds one has found a rare treasure. A loving partner is something beyond price, there is no measuring their worth. A loving partner is a life-saving remedy, and those who respect their Lord find true love. For as a person is, so is their loved one. The word of the Lord.

Book of Ruth 1:16-17

> Wherever you go, I will go. Wherever you live, I will live. Your people shall be my people and your God will be my God too. Wherever you die, I will die and there will I be buried beside you. We shall be together forever and our love will be the gift of God. The word of the Lord.

New Testament readings

There are 14 options for New Testament readings at a Catholic nuptial mass. Here are some examples:

Romans 8:31b-35, 37-39

This reading concludes a long opening section in Paul’s letter to the Christian community living in Rome. He preaches that the Gospel announces salvation for all peoples whether they are Jews or Gentiles. Then he offers reflections on our justification to God. Thus, the questions in this passage sound a bit like a back-and-forth argument. It is Christ whose death and resurrection has justified us and now intercedes on our behalf before God (vs. 34). A love that Christ demonstrates by dying for all of us is a bond of love that cannot be broken by anything – earthly, supernatural, or otherwise (vs. 38-39).

Romans 12:1-2, 9-18

When St. Paul speaks of a living sacrifice, the people would initially think this is an impossible contradiction. Sacrifices entailed the blood of an animal offered in the temple. This was done to express the moral life, to make up for one’s faults, and to please God. St. Paul, however, is preaching after Jesus' blood was shed on the cross. That sacrifice of his own life was the fulfillment of all sacrifices. The Apostle suggests that those who follow Christ are to offer their bodies as living sacrifices. This is the paradox of faith–that sacrificing, most especially the sacrifice of the cross, gives life and shuns death. In other words, St. Paul is saying that something completely new is taking place because of Christ’s death on the cross and his resurrection. The lives of Christian believers are to look different, and they are to embrace a new way of living in the world because of the beliefs they hold.

Romans 15:1b-3a, 5-7, 13

This reading emphasizes St. Paul’s strong hope that the Christian community in Rome might live in harmony. With different people in our global society today, we hear much about living peacefully with all. We use phrases like, “we agree to disagree;” “we respect one another;” or “we tolerate the things we don’t like.” Some married couples find that these phrases can balance the differences in their relationship. However, St. Paul calls for a particular expression of harmony, based on an imitating of Christ.

1 Corinthians 6:13c-15a, 17-20

The apostle Paul writes some of his most extensive thoughts to the Corinthians. In these letters, he responds to various problems occurring in Corinth. Some are not all that different from society today, including marital obligations and sexual immorality. When this reading is proclaimed before an assembly gathered for a wedding, all will know the immorality referenced in the opening phrase is sexual in nature. When read at the wedding, this reading does not have to be dour or come across as a finger-wagging. Rather it upholds the supernatural beauty hidden in the human body.

1 Corinthians 12:31–13:8a

This passage is known as a hymn of love. It is popular for Catholics and other Christians, and it tugs at the heartstrings of engaged couples as soon as they glance over the options. Most will not initially realize that St. Paul is not talking directly to husbands and wives. He is addressing many concerns within Corinth’s Christian community and is seeking to strengthen their overall unity. The community appears to have lost some of the vision of Gospel living. Thus, the apostle offers these thoughts.

Ephesians 4:1-6

In the first part of this reading, St. Paul gives some attributes necessary to live out in married life: humility, gentleness, patience, unity, and charity. These are necessary for living “the call you have received,” which is a great responsibility in the life of the Church. The Sacrament of Marriage gives many graces to the couple, especially when routine sets in and difficulties come; these graces help married couples joyfully live out their vocation.

Ephesians 5:2a, 21-33

Couples looking for a clear, strong image of sacramental marriage will gravitate toward this passage. It is the most expressive passage in the New Testament regarding marriage. It is also complex. Some couples will dismiss it as objectionable to a contemporary perspective of spousal love. The language within the reading can pose pastoral challenges. Yet couples who pray with this passage might trade in their initial objections for a spirited embrace of the vision of marriage offered here.

Philippians 4:4-9

This passage urges the Christian people of Philippi to live fully in the ideals of truth, justice, and love, all the while savoring God’s peace that will follow them. This is a worthy passage for a marriage liturgy, particularly because the Catholic Church believes that marriages and families are the very building blocks of society. A couple that humbly prays to God, keeps their hearts rooted in Christ, and seeks truth, justice, and love, will be a couple that promotes peace in their home and in society.

Colossians 3:12-17

This selection of the Colossians’ letter describes to the people what they should do now, in light of their resurrection with Christ Jesus. Throughout much of the New Testament, there are descriptions of what is necessary for a good and flourishing Christian community. These readings work well for the wedding liturgy, for the ideals of a good society are the ideals for a good marriage.

Hebrews 13:1-4a, 5-6b

In marriage preparation, an often-cited phrase is that it takes three to make the marriage successful: the husband, the wife, and God. This short passage speaks to the ways that God can be interwoven with the life of the couple. Generous hospitality can lead to encounters with divine realities. Sharing in the sufferings and hardships of others is a virtue. Loving God and loving one another should clearly take a greater priority than preoccupations with money. These short examples illustrate how the Lord lovingly sustains us.

1 Peter 3:1-9

This letter was originally sent to five Roman provinces in Asia Minor where Christianity had taken root in some small pockets. The Romans were nervous about outside religions like Christianity.

Gospel readings

The readings at a Catholic wedding liturgy are a proclamation of God's Word and the Church's faith about marriage. For this reason, they are limited to readings from the scriptures (the Bible). There are ten options for the Gospel reading at a Nuptial Mass.

Rejoice and be glad, for your reward will be great in heaven (Matthew 5:1-12a)

This passage, known as the Beatitudes, is a recognition that true happiness is not a fantasy of perpetual glee but is found in life's ordinary mix of bitter and sweet. It states that all marriages experience good times and bad, and as Christ's followers, we are called to consider the spiritual dimensions of all life's activity. This reading is a reminder that real happiness is found in embracing life's ups and downs and seeking spiritual fulfilment.

You are the light of the world (Matthew 5:13-16)

This passage is part of Jesus' Sermon on the Mount, which provides foundational teachings for all who follow him. It states that Christian living is like a light that illuminates a world darkened by the gloom of sin. The stress on the outward nature of the Christian life is a useful image for married couples, as their love for one another should not be contained but should seek to pour out and positively affect others.

A wise man built his house on rock (Matthew 7:21, 24-29)

This passage concludes Jesus' extensive opening discourse in Matthew's gospel, where he instructs his followers to put his teachings into action. It is a reminder that discipleship is about both believing and doing. It invites couples to consider their spiritual and eternal home as they start their married lives together, building their relationship on a solid foundation of faith and commitment to their parish community.

What God has united, man must not separate (Matthew 19:3-6)

In this passage, Jesus is approached by the Pharisees, who test him by asking about the lawfulness of divorce. Jesus does not give a simple yes or no answer but instead quotes Genesis 2: "For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, man must not separate." This reading is the clearest expression of marriage in the Gospels and forms the foundation of the Church's teaching on the indissolubility of marriage.

This is the greatest and the first commandment. The second is like it (Matthew 22:35-40)

In this passage, Jesus is tested by a Pharisee, a scholar of the law, who asks him which commandment is the greatest. Jesus quotes Deuteronomy 6:5, the commandment to love God, and Leviticus 19:18, to love your neighbour. He teaches that loving others is a way to demonstrate our deep love for God, and that these two commandments are closely linked. This reading underscores the basic mission of a Christian: to love God and neighbour with one's whole heart, mind, and soul.

They are no longer two, but one flesh (Mark 10:6-9)

This passage reiterates the Hebrew scripture from Genesis 1:27 and 2:24, noting that God is the source of creation, making men and women who are designed to become one flesh. Jesus emphasizes that "what God has joined together, no human being must separate." This reading reflects the hallmark of any sacrament – particular experiences of the Divine where God is doing the joining.

Jesus did this as the beginning of his signs in Cana in Galilee (John 2:1-11)

This passage, traditionally called "The Wedding Feast at Cana," includes a conversation between Mary, the wait staff, and Jesus, who reveals his transformative power. It is a glimpse of heaven, showing the glory of a world to come. Couples who have experienced the transforming power of faith and the abundant presence of Jesus in their lives will enjoy this passage, as it encourages them to be open to divine transformation and to imitate Christ's ways more clearly.

Remain in my love (John 15:9-12)

In this passage, Jesus expresses his love for his disciples before his return to the Father. He states that the Father's love for the Son is a pure expression of liberating selflessness, and that couples should strive for this kind of committed, mutual, and selfless love. By imitating Christ's ways, married couples can bring joy to God and complete their divine joy.

This is my commandment: love one another (John 15:12-16)

This passage is a continuation of the previous selection, where Jesus gives his disciples a commandment to love one another as he loves them. He teaches that the greatest love is to lay down one's life for one's friends, and that spousal love should endure until death. This sacrificial love is a mirror of Christ's love for his friends, and it is through this love that couples can find salvation.

That they may be brought to perfection as one (John 17:20-26)

In this prayer for love and unity, Jesus desires that the glory of heaven will be made known on earth. He prays for unity among his followers, drawing upon the profound unity of the Trinity. This passage might be favoured by couples who desire an intense spiritual bond and a strong unity that can only come from relying on the Holy Spirit in their relationship.

These Gospel readings provide a range of options for Catholic wedding ceremonies, each offering unique insights and blessings for the couple and their guests.

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