Should You Show Your Fiancée Her Wedding Band?

There are many traditions and customs surrounding weddings, and one of the most important is the exchange of rings. The groom typically pays for the bride's engagement and wedding rings, and it is considered bad luck for the bride to see her engagement ring before the proposal. However, when it comes to the groom's ring, the rules are more relaxed. It is common for grooms to see their wedding rings before the ceremony, as they may pay for it themselves or shop for it with their partner. Ultimately, it is up to each couple to decide whether to hide their rings from each other or not, but seeing the ring before the wedding is not considered bad luck.

Who traditionally buys the wedding bands?

Traditions surrounding weddings have evolved over time, and there are no hard-and-fast rules about who pays for the wedding bands. However, traditionally, each person buys the other person's ring. So, in a heterosexual marriage, the bride (and/or her family) buys the groom's wedding ring, and the groom (and/or his family) buys the bride's. In the case of same-sex marriages, each half of the couple is expected to pay for their other half's wedding band.

Today, many couples decide to share the cost of the wedding bands, especially if they have already combined their finances or are paying for the wedding together. Some couples split the cost evenly, while others divide the total cost proportionally to their individual incomes. Others still may buy each other's bands as a gift, or one person may pay for both if they bought the engagement ring, which is usually more expensive.

Ultimately, the couple can decide together what works best for them, and there are many options to choose from.

What are some modern approaches to buying wedding bands?

Wedding traditions have evolved over the years, and modern couples are increasingly choosing to make decisions about wedding expenses, including wedding bands, together. While there is no "best" place to buy wedding rings, there are many options available, such as visiting a local jeweler or ordering online from sites like Blue Nile, James Allen, Etsy, KAY Jewelers, or Instagram shops like Mejuri. Here are some modern approaches to buying wedding bands:

• Open communication: Discussing finances as a couple is essential. Being honest about preferences and budgets can help prevent any negative feelings associated with this significant investment.
• Combining finances: Some couples choose to combine their bank accounts before marriage, making it easier to split the cost of wedding bands and other expenses evenly.
• Proportional contribution: Even if a couple has combined finances, they may decide to contribute proportionally to the cost of the wedding bands based on their individual incomes. This approach is common when splitting costs as a couple in general.
• Equal contribution: Some modern couples, especially those who want to assert their commitment to equality and partnership, choose to buy their own wedding bands or contribute equally to the cost.
• Splitting wedding expenses: Couples may opt to split the cost of all wedding expenses, including the wedding bands, rather than following traditional gender roles or expectations.
• Matching sets: Couples may want their wedding bands to match in terms of metal type, accent stones, or overall design. Purchasing the bands together ensures that they complement each other and can often result in discounts when buying both rings from the same jeweler.
• Timing: It is advisable to start shopping for wedding bands early to allow for custom design work or any last-minute issues like incorrect ring sizes or engraving flaws.
• Metal type: Gold is the most popular option, but other metals like platinum offer hypoallergenic and highly durable alternatives. The choice of metal type may be influenced by the desire for matching bands or individual preferences for style and comfort.
• Engraving: Personalized engravings or special metalwork can add a unique touch to wedding bands. However, these customizations typically extend the delivery timeline, so it's important to order the rings well in advance of the wedding.
• Band size: It is crucial to know the correct band size, especially for styles like eternity bands that are challenging to resize.

What are some things to consider when deciding who buys the wedding bands?

There are several things to consider when deciding who buys the wedding bands. Here are some key points to keep in mind:

Communication and Preferences

Open and honest communication is vital. Discuss your preferences and expectations regarding the wedding bands. Be direct about what you want and don't want, and work together to find a solution that aligns with both of your visions.

Financial Considerations

Discuss your financial situation and how you plan to manage expenses as a couple. Consider whether you have shared finances or prefer to split costs. If you have a shared bank account, it may make sense to purchase the rings together. If you keep finances separate, you might want to split the cost evenly or have one person buy the engagement ring while the other buys the wedding bands to balance the overall spend.

Engagement Ring Investment

Consider the investment made in the engagement ring. If one person bought the engagement ring, the other might choose to buy the wedding bands to even out the financial burden.

Financial History as a Couple

Reflect on your financial history as a couple. If you've consistently split costs evenly in the past, it may make sense to continue this approach for the wedding bands. Many modern couples choose to split the cost of all wedding expenses, including rings.

Future Plans and Budgeting

Think about your future plans and budget accordingly. If you have significant honeymoon expenses or are planning to purchase a home, you may need to set a budget for the wedding bands to ensure you're saving for more important expenses. You could opt for inexpensive bands for the ceremony, with plans to replace them with higher-quality rings in the future.

Matching Bands and Timing

If you're considering matching wedding bands, it's essential to purchase them together to ensure they complement each other. Start shopping early to allow enough time for custom designs or any necessary adjustments.

Metal Type and Cost

The type of metal you choose will impact the cost. Platinum, for example, is more hypoallergenic and durable but offers fewer colour options than gold. Discuss your preferences and budget to determine the best option for both of you.

Remember, there are no hard-and-fast rules. Each couple is unique, so find a solution that works for your specific circumstances and ensures both of you are comfortable with the decision.

What are some tips for shopping for wedding bands?

Shopping for a wedding band is a special process, and you'll want to find a ring you'll be happy to wear for years to come. Here are some tips to help you choose the perfect wedding band.

Decide on the metal type and colour: The choice of metal will be one of the most important decisions as it will determine the ring's colour, strength, and tendency to scratch. Some popular options include gold (rose, yellow, or white), platinum, and tungsten carbide.

Choose the band width: Try on different widths to find your preferred style. A band that is too wide can be heavy and look intrusive, while a very thin band may appear dainty and underwhelming.

Consider extra designs: If you want to add a unique touch, you can incorporate designs such as stripes, a non-metal inlay (wood, carbon fibre, or stone), a two-tone metal design, or a custom pattern.

Add gemstones or diamonds: While diamonds and gemstones are more common in women's wedding bands, you can choose to add some bling to your band. Consider if you want a flashy ring or a simpler design.

Choose the texture or finish: Decide on the type of finish you want for your ring. Do you prefer a smooth and polished look, or would you like to add texture with a hammered finish?

In addition to these style choices, there are a few other practical considerations. Firstly, it's a good idea to try on rings in person to get a sense of what you like. You can also purchase rings online from various retailers, such as Blue Nile, James Allen, Etsy, and KAY Jewelers. Secondly, discuss with your partner and/or families who will be paying for the wedding bands, as this may impact your budget. Lastly, if you want your wedding bands to match your engagement ring, you can consider purchasing them from the same place.

What are some alternatives to diamonds in wedding bands?

There are a variety of gemstones that can be used as alternatives to diamonds in wedding bands. Here are some popular options:

Moissanite

Moissanite is one of the most popular alternatives to diamonds. It strongly resembles a diamond and is a fraction of the price. It is also incredibly durable, ranking close to diamonds on the Mohs scale of hardness. This makes moissanite a practical choice for everyday wear.

Sapphires

Sapphires are a classic and elegant option that comes in a range of shades. They are one of the hardest alternative stones and are ideal for everyday wear. They are also more affordable than diamonds, allowing for larger or higher-quality stones.

White Topaz

White topaz gemstones are excellent diamond alternatives as they exhibit a similar colorless appearance to diamonds and are relatively affordable. They can withstand everyday wear, making them a practical and cost-effective alternative.

Emeralds

Emeralds are a unique and vibrant option that adds a touch of allure to engagement rings. They are prized for their stunning green colour and rich history. While they require more care and attention than some other gemstones, they can be customised to fit into your dream ring.

Aquamarine

Aquamarine stones have a light blue colour and are an elegant and fresh choice. They are durable, ranking 7.5 to 8 on the Mohs hardness scale, making them suitable for everyday wear. They can also serve as your "something blue" on your wedding day.

Morganite

Morganite is a trendy option that stands out from traditional diamonds with its soft, delicate pink colour. It is slightly less durable than diamond but is more budget-friendly, allowing for larger stones. Morganite perfectly complements rose gold styles.

Other alternatives to diamonds include rubies, amethyst, opal, tourmaline, quartz, moonstone, garnet, and pearl.

Frequently asked questions