Hosting A Friend's Wedding: What You Need To Know

Hosting a friend's wedding can be a wonderful way to show your support and celebrate their special day. It is a significant undertaking that requires careful planning and consideration. From budgeting and venue selection to managing guest lists and accommodations, there are numerous factors to keep in mind. One option is to host the wedding in your backyard, which offers flexibility and freedom but also comes with its own set of challenges, such as permitting, parking, and catering. Alternatively, you can offer to incorporate your friends into their wedding without being part of the bridal party, such as by asking them to officiate the wedding or perform special duties during the ceremony.

Backyard weddings: pros and cons

Backyard weddings can be a great way to save money and offer a unique, creative, and flexible space for your wedding. However, there are several pros and cons to consider before making a decision.

Pros

Backyard weddings offer a high level of flexibility and creative control. You can choose any caterer, florist, or liquor provider without being tied down to a venue's preferred vendor list. This also means you can save money by, for example, buying your own alcohol. You can also set up however you like and get as creative as you want with the decor.

Cons

The main drawback of a backyard wedding is the amount of time and effort required for planning and preparation. You will need to find and manage a long list of vendors, including caterers, photographers, florists, DJs, and more. This can be very time-consuming, especially if you have never planned an event before and don't have an existing list of vendors.

In addition, you will need to create a detailed plan for the event, including a floor plan, layout, and logistics for load-in/load-out, catering area, heating/rain plan, deliveries, decor, lighting, and more. You will also need to ensure that you have enough parking spaces, bathrooms, and garbage disposal options for your guests.

Another important consideration is the weather. You should have a backup plan in case of rain or other inclement weather, such as an indoor ceremony or reception space, a tent, or other coverings.

Finally, there may be local permits, guidelines, or HOA rules that you need to comply with, including noise ordinances, parking restrictions, and more.

Overall, while backyard weddings offer a high level of flexibility and creativity, they require significantly more planning, time, and effort than a traditional venue. It is important to carefully consider the costs and benefits before making a decision.

Planning and preparation

Hosting a friend's wedding can be a challenging but rewarding experience. Here are some planning and preparation tips to help you get started:

Step 1: Assess Feasibility and Space Requirements:

• Determine if hosting the wedding at your residence is feasible, considering the number of guests and the available space.
• Ensure you have sufficient space for the ceremony, reception, parking, and other activities. Plan out the layout to accommodate all the necessary elements.
• Consider accessibility for elderly or disabled guests when designing the layout.
• Research any county or city permits, insurance requirements, fire codes, noise restrictions, and alcohol serving permits.

Step 2: Plan the Basics:

• Decide on the essentials such as a tent, chairs, tables, and other rental items.
• Contact rental companies to inquire about pricing and availability for tables, chairs, tents, and other necessary items.
• Create a comprehensive budget that includes the cost of rentals, catering, decorations, and any other expenses.
• If catering and bar services are required, discuss their specific needs and limitations with the caterers and bartenders.

Step 3: Choose Catering and Alcohol Services:

• Decide whether you will provide catering and alcohol services or allow guests to bring their own.
• If providing catering, ensure caterers are aware of space and electrical limitations.
• For alcohol, consider a cash bar option or supplying your own alcohol and hiring a bartending service. Research and comply with any required permits or licenses for serving alcohol.

Step 4: Book Vendors:

• Create a list of all the vendors you will need, including a wedding planner or coordinator, photographer, videographer, florist, hair and makeup artists, DJ or band, bakery, and transportation services.
• Communicate your plans and requirements clearly to all vendors before booking.
• Be prepared to provide power and adequate space for vendors such as the DJ or band.

Step 5: Prepare the Venue:

• Develop a plan for cleaning and preparing the venue, including any buildings or outdoor spaces.
• Enlist the help of family and friends to ensure the venue is ready well in advance of the wedding day.
• Address any power or electrical needs for vendors and ensure easy access to the venue for guests.

Step 6: Finalize Details and Host the Wedding:

• Create a detailed plan for the wedding day, including a timeline of events and tasks for yourself and any helpers.
• Assign specific jobs to trustworthy individuals, such as parking assistance, cleaning, and maintaining the venue.
• Consider providing comfort items for guests, such as sunscreen, blankets, or fans, depending on the weather.
• Ensure you have a plan for garbage disposal, as regular bins may not be sufficient for a large event.

Catering and alcohol

Catering:

When it comes to catering for a backyard wedding, it's essential to keep in mind that this will likely be one of your biggest expenses. Most caterers are accustomed to working in venues with ample space and electrical outlets, so when discussing your plans with caterers, be sure to inform them of any limitations or restrictions they may encounter. This includes both space and electrical constraints.

Alcohol:

Now, for the all-important topic of alcohol. Weddings are a time of celebration, and alcohol can certainly enhance the festivities. However, there are a few things to keep in mind:

• Buy Your Own Booze (BYOB): You can make the wedding a "bring your own bottle" event, but this may not be the most suitable option for a wedding.
• Local Bar Services: A more elegant solution is to contact a local bar and inquire about their ability to provide alcohol, bartending services, and potentially a cash bar. This option ensures compliance with legal requirements and shifts the responsibility to professionals.
• Hire a Bartending Service: Another option is to purchase and supply all the alcohol yourself and simply hire a bartending service or enlist a friend or family member to serve. However, be sure to research and comply with any legal requirements for serving alcohol, including potential liquor license needs.
• No Liquor License Needed: If your wedding is a private event that is not open to the general public, you typically won't need a liquor license.
• Estimate Alcohol Needs: It's better to overestimate than to run out. People tend to drink more at weddings than at other social gatherings, and you don't want to be caught off guard. For a rough estimate, plan for 2 drinks per person during the first hour, then 1 drink per person for each additional hour. Adjust as needed based on your guest list and their drinking preferences.

By following these guidelines and tips, you can ensure that the catering and alcohol aspects of your friend's wedding are well-organized and enjoyable for all.

Vendors and rentals

The average couple hires 14 vendors for their wedding, and the first step is to decide on a wedding planner or coordinator. A planner can help you stay organised and on budget, and keep things running smoothly on the day.

The next step is to book your venue, which will determine your date, and the timeline and checklist for your wedding.

Now it's time to start thinking about the other vendors you'll need for your big day. Here's a list of the most common wedding vendors and why they're important:

• Photographer and videographer: A photographer will creatively capture all of your wedding day memories, and a videographer will allow you to relive the day over and over.
• Hair and makeup artists: You'll want to look and feel your best on your wedding day, so hiring professionals to take care of your hair and makeup is a must.
• Florist: Your wedding flowers will be an essential part of your wedding's décor, and a florist will help bring your theme and color scheme to life.
• Caterer: Your wedding caterer will ensure that the food at your event is both plentiful and delicious.
• Baker or cake designer: A wedding cake can also be a focal point for your event’s décor, and a professional will create a dessert that’s almost too pretty to eat.
• DJ or band: Music sets the mood for your ceremony and reception, and it’s best left to the professionals.
• Officiant: Without an officiant, you won't be able to get married! You'll need to decide whether you're having a religious or secular ceremony and then find someone who can perform it.
• Jeweller: A trusted jeweller will help you find the perfect wedding bands to represent your personal style.
• Transportation company: An experienced transportation company will ensure that everyone arrives safely and on time.
• Lighting designer: Good lighting can make a huge difference when it comes to your wedding's look and feel, and a lighting designer can make your flower arrangements look even more spectacular.
• Stationer: An experienced stationer can help you select the right paper products and ensure that your save-the-dates, invitations, escort cards, and other stationery items are prepared and sent on time.
• Rentals company: A rentals company will provide items such as tables, chairs, dinnerware, décor, and more. If you're hosting an outdoor wedding, you'll also need to rent a tent.

Don't forget that you can also ask for recommendations from your venue, caterer, or wedding planner, who will be able to suggest trusted vendors they've worked with before.

Guest comfort

Welcome Bags

Prepare welcome bags or guest goodie bags with items like bottles of water, mints, painkillers, and a thoughtful thank-you card. This gesture will make your guests feel appreciated and set a positive tone for the night.

Transportation

Arranging transportation for your guests to and from the wedding venue can be a great way to reduce their stress and ensure they can fully enjoy the festivities. Consider options such as a minibus shuttle or individual car services.

Late-Night Snacks

Dancing and celebrating can work up an appetite! Offer late-night comfort food options like French fries, chicken tenders, veggie skewers, or even a food truck for a fun twist. This will keep your guests energised and happy throughout the night.

Lounge Areas

In addition to the dance floor, create comfortable lounge areas with chairs or sofas, preferably close to the action. This provides guests with a space to relax and socialise, especially if they prefer a break from dancing.

Comfortable Footwear

Provide a basket of cheap flip-flops or similar comfortable footwear for guests to change into during the reception. This is especially thoughtful for those in flashy high heels or tight shoes, ensuring they can dance the night away comfortably.

Guest Activities

During breaks or while the bridal party is busy, organise activities to keep guests entertained. This could include a photo booth, a book/wishing tree, lawn games, or even childcare services so parents can fully enjoy the celebration.

Weather Appropriate Items

If you're hosting an outdoor wedding, provide practical items like sunscreen, bug spray, fans, or blankets/shawls for colder weather. These simple touches can make a big difference in your guests' comfort.

Bathroom Kits

Prepare small baskets with essential items for the bathrooms at your wedding venue. Include items like deodorant, mouthwash, feminine hygiene products, combs, hairspray, floss, safety pins, and anything else your guests might need.

Hotel Accommodations

For guests travelling from far, consider setting up a hotel room block with group discounts. Notify your guests of the booking deadline to ensure they don't miss out on the convenience and comfort of staying nearby.

Temperature Control

Keep the temperature of both the ceremony and reception venues in mind, especially if they are outdoors. Provide air-conditioning or fans for hot days and indicate the dress code to your guests, suggesting appropriate attire and accessories.

Food and Drinks

Ensure you have plenty of food and drinks available, especially for long receptions. Late-night snacks, from pizza to ice cream, can be a fun way to keep energy levels up. Don't forget hot beverage options like coffee or tea for guests who prefer something warm.

Non-Dancing Options

Not everyone may feel comfortable dancing, so provide alternative options like a lounge area, outdoor seating, or lawn games. This ensures that all guests can participate and celebrate in their own way.

Signage and Information

Clear signage is essential, especially for large venues with multiple buildings. Guests should know where to go and when, and a wedding planner or day-of coordinator can be a huge help in ensuring smooth guest flow.

Keep the Timeline in Mind

Work with your wedding planner and vendors to ensure the reception doesn't drag on, and that food and drinks are served in a timely manner. A well-paced event will keep guests engaged and comfortable.

Minimal Speeches

While speeches can be fun, too many can become boring for guests. Keep them minimal and only include the most important people, such as parents, the maid of honor, and the best man.

Connect with Your Guests

Make an effort to say hello and connect with your guests, especially if you have a large wedding. They are taking the time to celebrate with you, and a quick personal connection can mean a lot. Consider hosting a smaller event, like a brunch the day after the wedding, to spend more time with out-of-town guests.

Frequently asked questions