Bringing A Plus One To A Wedding: Is It Okay?

Bringing a guest to a wedding is a common concern for many people. The general rule is that you should only bring a guest if you have a +1 or and guest on your invitation. This is usually indicated on the outer envelope of the invitation, the inner envelope, or the RSVP card. If you are unsure, it is best to ask the couple or the wedding planner directly. It is important to be mindful of the couple's budget, venue capacity, and social dynamics when considering bringing a guest. Some couples may choose to offer a +1 to guests who are married, engaged, or in a long-term relationship, while others may offer it to single guests so they don't feel left out. Ultimately, the decision to bring a guest to a wedding depends on the invitation and the couple's preferences.

Ask the couple

If you want to bring a guest to a wedding, the best thing to do is ask the couple. It is their event, and they will have curated the guest list carefully, so it is important to check with them first.

The couple will have considered their budget and the venue capacity when deciding on the guest list, so it is important to respect that. If you are unsure about whether you can bring a guest, it is always best to ask. The couple might be happy for you to bring someone, but it is important to get their permission first.

If you are thinking of bringing a friend as a plus-one, rather than a romantic partner, it is still a good idea to check with the couple. While some people think that a generic '+ guest' means you can bring anyone, others think it is more traditional to bring a date. If your friend is not someone who could have been invited as a guest in their own right, it might be seen as rude to bring them without checking with the couple first.

If you are worried about bothering the couple with small details, you could try asking a wedding planner, bridesmaid, or groomsman instead.

Don't assume you have a plus-one

It's important to remember that the guest list for a wedding is carefully curated, and bringing an uninvited plus-one can create an awkward situation for the couple. The number of guests may be limited by the couple's budget or the venue capacity, so you should only bring a guest if it is explicitly stated on the invitation.

If your invitation does not include a plus-one, it is best not to ask for one. Asking the couple to accommodate your request can put them in a difficult position. It is also important to remember that a plus-one is not an open invitation to bring anyone you like. If you are given a plus-one, choose your guest carefully and consider the couple's preferences. Avoid bringing someone who could have been invited but wasn't, as this may be seen as rude or circumventing the couple's decision.

When deciding whether to grant plus-ones, the couple may consider various factors such as the social dynamics of the evening and the seating chart. They may also want to ensure that single guests have someone to accompany them, especially if they won't know many other people at the wedding. However, this doesn't mean that you are entitled to a plus-one, and it is important to respect the couple's decision if they choose not to offer one.

If you are unsure about whether you can bring a plus-one, it is best to ask the couple directly. They may appreciate the opportunity to clarify their preferences and ensure that their guest list stays within their desired limits. However, be prepared to accept their decision gracefully if they choose not to accommodate your request.

Don't bring uninvited children

When it comes to weddings, it's important to remember that the guest list is carefully curated. If you're a guest, only bring the people who are listed on your wedding invitation. This is a firm rule of wedding guest etiquette.

If you're unsure, it's always best to clarify with the couple instead of assuming. They may have a specific reason for not inviting children, such as venue constraints or catering guidelines. It's also worth checking their wedding website for any clues or additional information.

If you're a parent, it's important to respect the couple's wishes and find alternative arrangements for your children. This will help ensure that the wedding goes smoothly and that the couple's wishes are respected.

Don't bring a plus-one who could have been invited

When it comes to wedding guest lists, it's important to remember that the couple has carefully curated their guest list, taking into account their budget, venue capacity, and the number of people they want present. So, if you're invited to a wedding, it's generally advised not to bring a plus-one who could have been invited but wasn't. Here are some reasons why:

• Respect the couple's wishes: The couple has put a lot of thought into their guest list, and by bringing an uninvited plus-one, you could be disrupting their carefully laid plans. It's their special day, and it's important to respect their wishes.
• Budget and venue constraints: Weddings can be expensive, and the couple may have a limited budget. By bringing an additional guest, you could be adding financial stress to the couple, especially if they are providing meals or gifts for the guests. Similarly, the venue may have limited capacity, and an extra person could create space constraints.
• Social dynamics and seating arrangements: The couple has likely considered the social dynamics of their guest list and created a seating chart accordingly. Bringing an uninvited plus-one can disrupt the balance and make seating arrangements more difficult.
• Avoid causing offence: By bringing a plus-one who could have been invited but wasn't, you may cause offence to the couple or their family. It could be seen as circumventing their decision and may be considered rude or inappropriate.
• Ask the couple if in doubt: If you're unsure about bringing a plus-one, the best course of action is to simply ask the couple. They may be open to the idea, or they may have a specific reason for not inviting that person. It's better to clarify and respect their decision.

Remember, the couple's wedding day is a special and often stressful time for them. By respecting their guest list and not bringing a plus-one who could have been invited, you're helping to ensure their day goes smoothly and as they envisioned.

Ask the wedding planner

Weddings are a time of celebration and joy, but they can also be a source of stress and confusion for guests, especially when it comes to the guest list. As a wedding planner, it is important to provide clear guidance to your clients on who should be invited and how to handle requests for plus-ones. Here are some tips to consider:

Firstly, explain to your clients that the guest list is a carefully curated group of people and that they should only invite those they truly want to share their special day with. The number of guests may be limited by the budget or venue capacity, so it is essential to prioritize.

When it comes to plus-ones, advise your clients to be consistent. For example, if one person in the wedding party is offered a plus-one, all members of the wedding party should be offered the same. This avoids any appearance of favouritism. It is also important to consider the social dynamics of the evening and how plus-ones might affect the seating chart.

Encourage your clients to think about their guests' needs. For instance, guests who are single and may not know many other attendees are often given plus-ones so they don't feel out of place or lonely. In such cases, it is common to offer a generic '+ guest' on the invitation, allowing the guest to bring a date, friend, or family member.

However, it is important to note that some guests may try to bring a plus-one who was not invited. This can be a tricky situation, and it is best to advise your clients to handle these requests on a case-by-case basis. If a guest asks to bring someone who could have been invited but wasn't, it may be seen as rude or an attempt to circumvent the couple's decision. In such cases, your clients may choose to politely decline the request, explaining that they are limited by budget or venue capacity.

On the other hand, if a guest simply wants to bring a friend for company, it may be appropriate to grant the request, especially if the friend is not someone who could have been expected to receive an invitation. Ultimately, the decision rests with the couple, and it is essential to respect their wishes.

To avoid any confusion or hurt feelings, recommend that your clients include clear wording on their wedding invitations and website regarding plus-ones. This may include specifying the names of invited guests and their plus-ones or explicitly stating that the celebration is "by invitation only".

By providing clear guidance and handling plus-one requests with grace and consistency, your clients can ensure that their guest list reflects their wishes and that their wedding day is shared with those who matter most to them.

Frequently asked questions