There are many traditions and superstitions associated with weddings, and one of the most well-known is that the groom should not see the bride before the ceremony. This tradition is rooted in the historical practice of arranged marriages, where the bride's father would make a deal with the groom's family, often for business purposes. The bride's family would worry that if the groom saw the bride before the wedding and didn't find her attractive, he might call off the marriage, bringing shame to the bride's family. To avoid this, couples wouldn't meet until the wedding day, and the bride would wear a veil to cover her face until the last moment. Today, this superstition has mostly phased out, with many couples choosing to do a first look before the ceremony to ease pre-wedding jitters and capture the moment with their photographer. However, some couples still choose to stick to tradition and save the special moment of seeing each other for the actual wedding ceremony. Ultimately, the decision of whether the bride and groom see each other the night before the wedding or not is a personal choice that depends on the couple's preferences and beliefs.
Characteristics | Values |
---|---|
Origin of the tradition | Arranged marriages |
Reasoning | If the groom saw the bride before the wedding, he might find her unattractive and call off the wedding, bringing shame to the bride and her family |
Veil | To prevent the groom from seeing what the bride looked like until the last possible minute |
Modern interpretation | Many couples now feel it doesn't matter if the groom sees the bride the night before the wedding |
It is becoming more common for couples to have a photo shoot before the ceremony | |
Many couples feel that it builds excitement and anticipation for the wedding ceremony if the groom does not see the bride beforehand |
What You'll Learn
- The tradition of brides and grooms not seeing each other before the wedding stems from arranged marriages
- The veil was used to prevent the groom from seeing the bride's face until the last moment
- Many couples now opt for a 'first look' before the ceremony
- Some couples choose not to see each other to keep their wedding attire a surprise
- The superstition is considered outdated by many modern couples
The tradition of brides and grooms not seeing each other before the wedding stems from arranged marriages
The tradition of brides and grooms not seeing each other before the wedding is a superstition that stems from a time when marriages were arranged and seen as business deals between families. It was considered bad luck for the soon-to-be newlyweds to meet before the ceremony, as it was believed that the groom might call off the wedding if he found the bride unattractive. This superstition was born out of the desire to ensure that the groom would follow through with the commitment to marry, which was often made for financial or social gain.
In the past, it was common for couples to have never laid eyes on each other before the wedding day. The bride's father usually negotiated the match, and the bride's family stood to gain financially from the union. If the groom pulled out at the last minute, it could bring serious shame to the bride and her family, damaging their reputation.
The veil also played a part in this tradition. By keeping her face covered until the very last moment, the bride ensured that the groom would go through with the marriage before he could see what she looked like.
Today, this superstition has evolved into the more romantic idea that the couple should keep their wedding attire a surprise until they meet at the altar. While some couples still choose to spend the night before the wedding apart, many now feel it doesn't matter if they see each other, and some even opt for a pre-wedding photo shoot.
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The veil was used to prevent the groom from seeing the bride's face until the last moment
In the past, it was considered bad luck for the bride and groom to meet before the wedding ceremony. This superstition dates back to when marriages were arranged and served as business deals between families. The veil was used to prevent the groom from seeing the bride's face until the last moment, only being lifted when it was too late for the groom to back out.
The tradition of the groom not seeing the bride before the wedding is rooted in the belief that if the groom found the bride unattractive, he might call off the wedding, bringing serious shame to the bride and her family. The veil was thus employed as a strategic tool to ensure the groom could not back out before the ceremony.
In ancient Rome, brides wore veils to disguise themselves from evil spirits that might want to hinder their happiness. Over time, wedding veils became symbols of a bride's chastity and modesty, with the white veil accompanying the white wedding dress as a symbol of purity. In some cultures and religions, the veil continues to hold symbolic significance. For instance, in Judaism, the groom places a veil over his bride's head during the Bedeken ceremony to ensure he is marrying the right person.
While some couples still choose to uphold the tradition of not seeing each other before the wedding, it is becoming more common for couples to meet and even have a photo shoot before the ceremony. Ultimately, the decision to adhere to this tradition or not is a personal choice, with some couples finding excitement and anticipation in waiting, while others prefer the calming presence of their partner before the ceremony.
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Many couples now opt for a 'first look' before the ceremony
The tradition of the bride and groom not seeing each other before the wedding ceremony is rooted in the time when marriages were arranged and seeing each other beforehand was considered bad luck. It was believed that if the groom saw the bride before the vows, he might back out if he found her unattractive. However, today, many couples opt for a "first look" before the ceremony.
A "first look" is when a couple decides to see each other after they've changed into their wedding attire but before the official formalities of the day begin. This moment is usually captured on camera by the wedding photographer or videographer. According to a poll by The Knot, 56% of couples who wed in 2023 decided to go with a first look on their wedding day.
There are several benefits to doing a first look. It can help ease pre-wedding jitters, as seeing your significant other can help ground you and alleviate any nerves. It also allows for a private, intimate moment between the couple, as the ceremony itself can be overwhelming and filled with distractions. Additionally, it can free up time later in the day, as the bulk of portraits and group photos can be taken before the ceremony, leaving more time for the couple to attend and enjoy the cocktail hour with their guests.
However, there are also some downsides to consider. For those who are superstitious or traditional, a first look might not be an option as it goes against the longstanding ritual of saving the first look for the altar. It can also be a lot of additional planning and logistics, requiring an earlier start to the day. The lighting may not be ideal, as first looks tend to happen in the middle of the day, resulting in harsh lighting that casts unwanted shadows in the photos.
Ultimately, the decision to do a first look or not is a personal one, and there is no right or wrong answer. Couples should choose what works best for them and their preferences.
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Some couples choose not to see each other to keep their wedding attire a surprise
The tradition of the couple not seeing each other before the wedding ceremony has evolved into the idea that they should keep their wedding attire a surprise until they meet at the altar. This is a more romantic notion than the superstition's less-than-gallant origin, which stems from arranged marriages.
In the past, marriages were often arranged as business deals between families, with little to no input from the betrothed couple. To avoid the groom backing out of the deal if he found the bride unattractive, the couple was not allowed to meet before the wedding. The veil also played a part in this tradition, as it kept the groom from finding out what the bride looked like until the last possible minute, when it was too late to change his mind.
Today, couples may choose not to see each other before the ceremony to keep their wedding attire a surprise. This adds an element of excitement and anticipation to the big reveal as the bride walks down the aisle. It is a special moment that many couples want to share with their guests, making it even more memorable.
While some couples opt for a "first look" before the ceremony to ease pre-wedding jitters, others prefer to wait until they are at the altar to see each other in their wedding attire for the first time. Ultimately, the decision is a personal one, and couples should do what feels right for them.
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The superstition is considered outdated by many modern couples
The superstition that a groom should not see the bride before the wedding stems from the time when marriages were arranged and served as business deals between families. The bride's father, who usually made the deal, wanted his daughter to marry into a rich family. However, he feared that if the groom saw the bride before the wedding and found her unattractive, he would call off the wedding, bringing shame to the bride's family. Thus, the tradition of the couple not seeing each other until the ceremony was born, with the bride's veil also serving to hide her face until the last moment.
While some couples still choose to follow this tradition, many modern couples consider it outdated. Arranged marriages are no longer common, and individuals now choose to make their weddings personal and unique. As such, not adhering to this superstition has become standard practice for modern nuptials.
Today, couples often opt for a "first look" before the ceremony, allowing them to see each other for the first time on their wedding day in a private and intimate setting. This can help ease pre-wedding jitters and create a relaxing atmosphere. Some couples also choose to get dressed up and have a photo shoot before the ceremony, capturing the emotions and surprise of seeing each other without an audience.
Additionally, modern couples often prioritise spending time together before the ceremony. They may choose to get ready together, have breakfast, or simply spend a few minutes calming each other's nerves. This can be a special and meaningful way to start their wedding day and their life together.
Ultimately, the choice of whether or not to see each other before the wedding is a personal one. Many couples feel that it builds excitement and anticipation for the ceremony if the groom does not see the bride beforehand. However, others believe that superstition should not play a part in a modern wedding, and instead focus on making their day unique and memorable in their own way.
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Frequently asked questions
The tradition stems from the time when marriages were arranged. The bride's father would have arranged the marriage with a man from a rich, land-owning family. However, there was a fear that if the groom saw the bride before the wedding and didn't find her attractive, he would call off the wedding, bringing shame to the bride and her family.
Couples are divided on this question. According to an Easy Weddings poll, 52% of couples said the groom shouldn’t see the bride, 45% didn’t see why not, and 13% said it was ok as long as the lights were off!
Some couples are choosing to do a "first look" before the wedding ceremony. This is a moment for the couple to appreciate each other and calm their nerves. Other alternatives include taking photos back to back, putting on a blindfold and holding hands, recording a video message, or writing a note and giving a gift.