Planning A Wedding Reception: What You Can Do Now

Planning a wedding reception can be a daunting task, but it's also a chance to show off your party-planning skills and give your guests a great time. The reception is when you get to celebrate with your loved ones, so it's important to get the timing right. A typical wedding reception lasts around four to five hours, including one hour for cocktails and four hours for dinner and dancing. However, the length can vary depending on factors such as the number of guests, whether you have a band or a DJ, and the style of dinner service.

Cocktail hour

The cocktail hour is a great time for your guests to relax, mix, and mingle before the wedding reception. It is also a chance for the newlyweds to take a breather and have some light bites and drinks before the celebrations pick back up. Here are some ideas to make your cocktail hour fun and memorable:

Drinks

• Serve signature cocktails with fun names dedicated to your pets or other themes close to your heart.
• Offer boozy ice pops or mini-popsicles, especially if you're having a summer celebration.
• Set up a self-pour station with various drinks such as beer, wine, cocktails, sodas, kombucha, and cold-brew coffee.
• Prepare a limoncello stand, a fun twist on the classic lemonade stand.
• Add a floral touch to your drinks, such as a rose petal-scented hibiscus martini.
• For a comforting winter treat, offer warm whiskey and freshly-brewed tea. You can also serve it iced during hotter months.
• Don't forget about the children and non-alcoholic options! Offer smoothies, milkshakes, or virgin versions of your signature cocktails.

Food

• Set up interactive food stations such as a charcuterie board on an old wagon, a pretzel station with assorted dipping sauces, or a taco or pizza truck.
• Offer bite-sized appetizers or amuse-bouche to satisfy hungry guests without filling them up before the main meal.
• For a summer wedding, set up a shaved ice cart as a prelude to dessert.
• For a rustic touch, roast marshmallows over a fire pit.

Decor and Seating

• Use the entire venue by hosting the cocktail hour in a different location from the ceremony and reception. For example, if the ceremony is on the beach, move to the rooftop terrace for the cocktail hour.
• Create shelving displays by bringing indoor furniture outside, such as glass bookcases to hold the drinks.
• Offer unique and comfortable seating options such as sofas, love seats, and poufs.
• Set up a living wall with floating air plants or a faux leafy backdrop for great photo ops and drink displays.
• Hang a neon sign with your names or a fun message, adding an aesthetic highlight to your decor.

Entertainment and Activities

• Hire a sketch artist to paint the event as it unfolds, creating a wonderful memento to hang in your home.
• Incorporate lawn games such as croquet, cornhole, giant Jenga, or a giant chessboard to get your guests moving and interacting.
• Host a mariachi band or other live music to serenade your guests and create a festive atmosphere.
• Set up a photo booth with a fun backdrop and props, or hire a photographer to capture candid moments with your guests.
• Project a video or slide show recounting how the couple met and fell in love, featuring friends and family.
• Organize interactive games such as cocktail table tic-tac-toe or a game of checkers.

Remember, the cocktail hour is all about your guests, as the newlyweds and wedding party are often busy taking photographs. By offering creative drinks, treats, and activities, you can make this interlude fun and enjoyable for everyone!

Dinner

Timing

It is essential to consider the timing of dinner in relation to other reception activities. The average wedding reception is about 5 hours long, including 1 hour for cocktails and 4 hours for dinner and dancing. The dinner hour will typically include dinner service and speeches. The first course is usually served after the initial toast, and the maid of honour and best man speeches should occur between courses to spread out the high-emotion moments and keep guests in their seats.

The style of dinner service will impact the overall tone of the reception and should be chosen carefully. Here are some common styles:

• Plated sit-down dinner: This is the most traditional and popular option. Guests are served a formal dinner while seated at their assigned tables. It typically includes an appetizer and an entrée, with dessert served tableside.
• Family-style dinner: This style involves passing around big platters and bowls of food at the table, creating a casual and intimate atmosphere.
• Buffet-style dinner: Buffets offer a wide variety of food options and are a good choice for guests with allergies or particular food preferences. However, it can take time for all guests to go through the buffet line.
• Food stations: Similar to buffets, food stations provide guests with a variety of choices but are more interactive and involved. Examples include charcuterie stations, raw bars, pizza stations, and crudité spreads.
• Cocktail-style dinner: This style involves guests mixing and mingling while snacking on small bites. It is a cost-effective option for large guest lists but may not accommodate older guests as it involves a lot of standing.

Other Considerations

When planning the dinner portion of a wedding reception, it is also important to consider the following:

• Dietary restrictions: Ensure there are options available for guests with dietary restrictions, such as vegetarian, vegan, dairy-free, or gluten-free choices.
• Seating arrangements: Consider the table layout and seating arrangements for guests. For family-style dinners, ensure there is enough space on the tables for the platters and bowls.
• Photography: The dinner hour is a great time for the couple to take photos with their guests, as everyone is already seated and enjoying their meals.
• First dance: Some couples choose to have their first dance before dinner, while others wait until after the first course.
• Cake cutting: The cake-cutting ceremony is usually done after dinner and signifies that guests can start leaving if they wish.

In conclusion, the dinner portion of a wedding reception can be tailored to the couple's preferences and can be a simple, intimate affair or a grand, formal event. By considering the timing, service style, and other key elements, couples can create a memorable dining experience for their guests.

Speeches and toasts

The wedding reception is a time for celebration and joy, and the speeches and toasts are a key part of this. They are a chance for loved ones to share their favourite memories of the couple and offer words of wisdom and encouragement. Here is a guide to help you plan the speeches and toasts for your wedding reception.

Who Should Give a Speech?

This is ultimately up to you, but traditionally, the father of the bride gives the first speech, followed by the father of the groom or parents of the groom. This is because, in the past, the bride's parents usually hosted and paid for the wedding. However, if the groom's parents are contributing or the couple is footing the bill, they may prefer to go first or choose someone else entirely.

Other speakers could include the maid of honour, the best man, the mother of the bride, the couple themselves, or other close family members and friends.

It is recommended that you limit the number of speeches at the reception to four to ensure that the reception remains on schedule. If there are other people who would like to speak, you could ask them to give a speech at the rehearsal dinner instead, which tends to be more relaxed and intimate.

Speeches typically take place during the meal at the wedding reception, around three-quarters of the way through. This ensures that guests are settled, and the speakers have their full attention.

Speeches should be kept short, ideally under five minutes, and should include an introduction, a story or anecdote about the couple, and a toast to the newlyweds. It is important to keep the content light and positive, avoiding any mentions of exes or problems the couple has faced.

The couple does not traditionally drink during a toast made to them, but they can raise their glasses along with the speaker. After all the speeches are done, the couple may wish to give a brief thank-you speech to everyone involved and express their excitement about married life.

Sample Wedding Toasts

• "May your joys be as deep as the ocean, and your troubles as light as its foam."
• "May your love always be added. May it never be subtracted. May your household multiply and may your hearts never be divided!"
• "May you live as long as you like, and have all you like for as long as you live."
• "Here's to the bride and the bridegroom, we'll ask their success in our prayers, and through life's dark shadows and sunshine, may good luck be theirs."

Cake cutting

The cake-cutting ceremony is a symbolic detail of the wedding reception. It is one of the first joint ventures of the newly married couple, symbolising their promise to support each other and their first responsibility as a married couple.

The cake is usually cut after dinner, between dinner and the parent dances, or before the last dance set begins. This signals to guests that the reception is almost over and they can start heading home, particularly older guests or those with young children.

The couple may choose to feed each other the first slice, symbolising their commitment to providing for one another. Alternatively, they may opt for a cake smash, where they smash the cake into each other's faces.

There is traditional wedding cake etiquette that the couple can follow. The groom begins cutting the bottom layer of the cake, and the bride places her hand on top of the groom's hand as the cake is cut. This ritual signifies the groom's commitment to taking care of the bride. However, the couple may cut the cake together or switch whose hand is on top.

The couple should position themselves with one person standing closest to the cake, holding the knife with their dominant hand, and the other person standing behind, placing their hand on top. They should cut about an inch into the bottom tier of the cake, avoiding a sawing motion to prevent the cake from crumbling.

After the initial piece is cut, the catering staff will take over and bring the cake back to the kitchen to slice for the rest of the guests.

Dancing

Types of Dances

There are four main dances that most couples choose to include in their wedding reception: the first dance, the parent dances, the anniversary dance, and the money dance.

The first dance is when the couple takes their first spin as newlyweds. This usually happens at the beginning of the reception, after the grand entrance, or after the meal has been completed.

The parent dances include the father-daughter dance and the mother-son dance. These can happen at different times during the reception, depending on the couple's preference. Some couples choose to have these dances directly after the first dance, while others prefer to have them towards the end of dinner or after the cake-cutting.

The anniversary dance, also known as the bouquet dance, involves inviting all married couples to the dance floor. The DJ or emcee then asks couples who have been married for less than a year to take a seat, until the couple who has been married the longest is left dancing.

The money dance, also known as the dollar dance or apron dance, is when guests surround the couple and give them cash. This usually happens towards the end of the reception.

Other special dances include the Hora for Jewish couples, a lively circle dance that can follow the first dance or start after dinner. There is also the bouquet and garter toss, which can be included about 45 minutes into the dance set.

Planning and Timing

When planning the wedding dances, it is important to consider the overall flow of the reception and the energy level of the guests. The first dance usually lasts for about one and a half to two minutes, and it is a good idea to have a clear timeline for the rest of the dances as well.

To maintain the guests' interest, it is recommended not to group too many dances or speeches together. One suggestion is to have the first dance after the grand entrance, followed by dinner, and then use the parent dances to shift into the dance party portion of the evening.

Group dances, such as the Hora or line dances, can be a great way to build momentum and attract people to the dance floor. These are best included earlier in the evening, before the older guests leave.

Music Selection

It is important to choose appropriate songs for each dance and to ensure that the band or DJ is equipped to play them. Selecting songs that are meaningful to the couple and their loved ones can make the moment more special.

Practice

For couples who want to perform a choreographed routine, it is recommended to start practising early, preferably two to three months before the wedding. Even if there is no choreography, practising a slow dance together can help the couple feel more comfortable and confident on their big day.

Frequently asked questions