Can An Objection Stop A Wedding?

The tradition of allowing someone to object during a wedding ceremony was introduced by the Catholic Church in the 12th century as a way to ensure the legality of a union before making it official. At the time, it was difficult to verify the marital status of people from other towns, their ages, or their relation to each other. However, in modern times, this tradition has become increasingly uncommon and is often omitted from wedding ceremonies.

If someone does object during a wedding, it is typically done in a joking manner and does not halt the proceedings. In the rare case that a serious objection is raised, it must be on legal grounds, such as one party being already married or the couple being too closely related. In such cases, the officiant may pause the ceremony to address the objection privately with the couple and the objector.

So, while it is possible for someone to object during a wedding, it is unlikely to prevent the wedding from ultimately going forward unless there are substantial legal grounds for the objection.

What to do if someone objects

Although it is uncommon for someone to object during a wedding ceremony, it is still a good idea to be prepared for this situation. Here are some steps you can take if someone objects during your wedding:

• Pause the ceremony: If there is an objection, the officiant may pause the ceremony briefly to decide on the next steps.
• Have a private conversation: It is advisable to speak with the objector in a private setting to understand their concerns. This conversation can be held before resuming the ceremony.
• Ask the objector to leave: If the person objecting is unwilling to move on from their objection, you may need to ask them to leave the ceremony.
• Continue the ceremony: After addressing the objection, you can choose to continue with the wedding ceremony.
• Seek support: Remember that your wedding guests are there to celebrate your union. Lean on your support system to help you through this challenging moment.

It is also important to note that wedding objections are typically only valid if there are legal issues involved. Emotional objections are not sufficient grounds to stop a wedding.

Preventing objections

While you cannot control the behaviour of others, there are some steps you can take to prevent unwanted objections:

• Speak to guests in advance: If you anticipate that a particular guest may have objections, consider speaking to them privately before the wedding. Address their concerns and politely request that they respect your decision.
• Curate your guest list: Ensure that your guest list includes only those who genuinely support your union.
• Communicate with your officiant: If you have concerns about a potential objection, inform your officiant beforehand. They can help to navigate the situation and keep the ceremony running smoothly.

What the officiant should do

• Pause the ceremony.
• Take the objector to another room to privately give their reason for the objection.
• Ask the couple if they want to continue with the ceremony.
• If the objection has no legal basis, ignore the objection and continue with the ceremony as normal.
• If the objection is related to domestic violence or someone's safety, the officiant must discontinue the ceremony.
• If the couple wishes to continue with the ceremony, make a brief apology for the interruption and thank everyone for their support.

How to handle the situation beforehand

If you're concerned about someone objecting at your wedding, there are a few steps you can take to handle the situation beforehand. Here are some detailed and instructive tips to help you navigate this delicate situation:

• Be mindful of your guest list: If you suspect that a particular guest may have qualms about your union, consider having a private discussion with them beforehand. This can be an opportunity to address any concerns and decide whether it's best to delicately rescind their invitation or move forward with their attendance.
• Communicate with your officiant: Let your officiant know about your concerns regarding a potential objection. They can help break the ice and keep the ceremony going by making light of the situation or pausing the ceremony for a private conversation if needed.
• Set expectations: While you can't control other people's behaviour, you can set clear expectations for your guests. Consider speaking to everyone invited to the wedding ahead of time, especially those you know aren't happy about the union. Let them know that if they aren't genuinely supportive of your relationship, it may be best for them not to attend.
• Address legal issues: If there are any potential legal grounds for objection, such as one of the parties being already married or a close relative, it's essential to address these issues beforehand. Consult with your officiant and ensure that any discrepancies are ironed out well before the wedding day.
• Prepare a response: In the unlikely event of an objection, decide in advance how you would like your officiant and guests to respond. You can choose to have the objecting person escorted out, or you can opt for a private conversation to address their concerns.
• Focus on your big day: Remember that wedding objections are rare, and it's unlikely that an officiant will ask for objections during the ceremony. Your guest list is likely curated with only those who support your union, so try to relax and focus on the joy of marrying the love of your life.

What to do if you want to object

If you want to object to a wedding, it's important to understand that wedding objections are for legal issues only, not emotional ones. No one can stop a wedding unless they have a valid legal reason for doing so.

If you have a valid legal reason for objecting to a wedding, it's best to speak to the couple in private about your concerns before the wedding. Express yourself quietly and respectfully, and be prepared to provide evidence to support your objection.

If the wedding is already underway and you have a valid legal objection, you can raise your concern during the ceremony. The officiant may pause the ceremony and ask to speak with you in private to understand your objection. Be prepared to provide evidence to support your claim.

Keep in mind that objections during a wedding ceremony are highly uncommon and may cause significant disruption and distress to the couple and their guests. If you have concerns, it's always best to address them privately and in advance whenever possible.

Additionally, if you have a legal or moral concern about a marriage that has already taken place, you may be able to notify the authorities or the courthouse that issued the marriage license. However, this would need to be an extraordinary circumstance.

What to do after the wedding

So, the wedding didn't get interrupted by an objection—phew! Now, after the wedding, there are still a few important items left on your to-do list. Here's a detailed and direct list of instructive actions to take after the wedding:

The Day After the Wedding

• Relax and unwind as newlyweds. Sleep in, eat breakfast in bed, and reflect on your wedding night and the memories made.
• Clean up the wedding reception venue, if necessary. Enlist the help of family and friends to put away chairs and tables.
• Host an informal post-wedding brunch for close family and friends. This is a great opportunity to open wedding gifts and spend time with out-of-town guests.
• Make it official on social media by updating your relationship status and, if applicable, your new last name.
• Open your wedding presents and take note of who gave you what, so you can send out thank-you notes later.
• Spend time with family and friends. Invite everyone over for coffee or go out for a light lunch.
• Pack for your honeymoon, if you're jetting off soon.
• Write reviews for your wedding vendors to help other couples and show your appreciation for their hard work.
• Return any wedding rentals, such as table decorations or tuxedos, to avoid late fees.
• Take care of your wedding dress by purchasing a cleaning and preservation kit or sending it to a specialist.
• Order takeout and treat yourself to your favourite foods—you deserve it!
• Look at your wedding photos, including candid shots from guests and 'sneak peek' photos from your photographer.
• Jot down your favourite wedding memories, which will be fun to look back on in the future.

In the Weeks After the Wedding

• Send out thank-you cards to your guests and vendors. It's best to aim to finish this within 90 days or two months after the wedding.
• Consider gifting printed wedding photo albums to your in-laws, family, and wedding party. Sites like Shutterfly make it easy to design custom albums.
• Double-check that you've paid and tipped all your vendors, and send payment immediately if you realise you still owe them.
• Leave vendor reviews online or send personal reviews to your vendors to help them grow their business.
• Freeze the top tier of your wedding cake so you can toast to your first anniversary with a slice.
• Have your wedding dress cleaned and preserved as soon as possible to prevent stains from setting.
• Repurpose your flowers by donating them to hospitals or nursing homes, or encouraging guests to take home the excess blooms.
• Reuse leftover wedding favours, such as cups or monogrammed towels, in your home.
• Give your in-laws and parents a personalised gift, especially if they contributed significantly to your wedding.
• Finish your wedding registry by purchasing any remaining items, often at a discount, within 30 days after your wedding.
• Do a social media review using your wedding hashtag to see all the fun footage and photos posted by your guests.
• Properly store your wedding china and silverware in fabric boxes and silver bags to prevent tarnishing.
• Change your name on all your accounts, including your driver's license, passport, credit cards, bank accounts, and social security card.
• Update your name with your employer and HR department so they can update your insurance and tax information.
• Plan something new to look forward to, like a romantic getaway or dinner party, to ward off any post-wedding blues.

Frequently asked questions