Commencing A Wedding: What You Need To Know

A wedding ceremony is a joyous occasion, marking the union of two people in marriage. While every wedding is unique, there is a general flow and order of events that most weddings follow. From the procession to the exchanging of vows and rings, the pronouncement of marriage, and finally, the recessional, each step is carefully choreographed to create a memorable experience for the couple and their guests. The officiant plays a crucial role in setting the tone and guiding the ceremony, from the opening remarks to closing the ceremony with a grand finale. The wedding reception that follows also has its own set of traditions, including toasts, the first dance, cake-cutting, and more, all leading up to the last song and the end of the reception. Planning a wedding timeline is essential to ensure a seamless flow, allowing the couple and their guests to focus on celebrating this special day.

The procession

There are several ways to signal the start of the procession. The groom and officiant can enter the room and stand at the altar, or the music can change to indicate something different is about to happen. The groom can also enter and pause for a few moments before the music starts and the bride walks in. If it's a religious wedding, there may be special traditions, an invocation, or a prayer before the ceremony begins.

The officiant's opening remarks

The Welcome and Greeting:

Firstly, welcome the guests and thank them for their presence. You could say something like:

> "Welcome, everyone, and thank you for being here today to witness and celebrate the union of [bride's name] and [groom's name]."

Introduce the couple and explain the purpose of the event. You could say:

> "We are gathered here today to celebrate the marriage of [bride's name] and [groom's name]. We ask for God's blessing as they join together in eternal matrimony."

If the couple has requested a non-religious ceremony, you can omit the reference to God.

A Glimpse into the Couple's Life and Love:

Share a bit about the couple's relationship, their journey, and what marriage means to them. This can be light-hearted and fun, or more serious and heartfelt, depending on the couple's preferences. For example:

> "For those of you who don't know, [bride's name] and [groom's name] first met [number of years] ago at [location/event]. It was love at first sight, and they've been inseparable ever since. They are a perfect match, always making each other laugh and supporting each other through life's challenges. Marriage, to them, represents a spiritual bond, a connection that transcends the everyday and speaks to their shared destiny."

A Word on Marriage:

This is where you can talk about the significance of marriage, commitment, and love. You might say:

> "Marriage is a sacred act of will, an enduring commitment to care for and support another person through life's joys and sorrows. It is a promise to love, honour, and cherish one another for a lifetime."

Final Remarks:

Conclude with a statement that ties everything together and transitions into the next part of the ceremony. For instance:

> "So, without further ado, let us begin the ceremony and witness the beautiful vows that [bride's name] and [groom's name] have prepared for each other."

Remember, these are just examples, and you can personalise the opening remarks to fit the couple and their unique story. Meeting with the couple beforehand and asking them questions about their relationship, how they met, and their vision for the ceremony will help you create a meaningful and tailored opening speech.

Exchanging of vows

The exchanging of vows is a key part of a wedding ceremony, though it is not mandatory. The vows can be written by the couple themselves or chosen from traditional scripts. In some cases, the vows are spoken first by the officiant, and the couple repeats them. Alternatively, the officiant can say the vows in the form of a question, to which the couple responds with "I do" or "I will".

The vows can be exchanged after the officiant's opening remarks. The officiant will ask the couple to recite their vows to each other. The couple may choose to memorise the vows, or repeat them after the officiant. The couple may also choose to write their own vows, or recite traditional vows.

• "I, [name], take you, [name], to be my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. I will love and honour you all the days of my life."
• "I, [name], take you, [name], to be my wife/husband, and I do promise and covenant, before God and these witnesses, to be your loving and faithful husband/wife in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live."
• "I, [name], take thee, [name], to be my wedded wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my faith."

The exchanging of vows is a special moment during the wedding ceremony, where the couple expresses their love and commitment to each other. It is a time-honoured tradition that adds a romantic touch to the celebration.

Exchanging of rings

The exchanging of rings is a highly symbolic part of a wedding ceremony, representing the commitment two people are making to each other. This is often one of the most special moments of the ceremony. While the vows are the promises a couple makes to each other, the ring exchange is a physical symbol of these promises.

Traditionally, the groom places a ring on the bride's finger first, but this is not always the case. The couple may choose the order that works best for them, and they can decide whether to include the ring exchange within their vows or have it separate. The ring exchange usually takes place after the vows and before the pronouncement of marriage.

Couples can choose their own words to accompany the ring exchange, or they can opt for more traditional wording. Traditional wording often includes words like "cherish", "devotion", and "faith", and may include phrases such as:

> "I give you this ring as a symbol of my everlasting love for you."

> "I give you this ring as a sign of our love for and commitment to each other. I promise to support you, care for you, and stand alongside you for all of our days."

> "I offer you this ring to wear as a symbol of our unbreakable bond. It is a reminder of my eternal faith and unwavering dedication. I will cherish you forevermore."

> "Take this ring as a symbol of my vow to you. I’ll be your faithful partner forevermore."

> "With this ring, I vow to love and honour you from this moment forward."

For a more modern take on the ring exchange, couples might prefer something like:

> "This ring is a token of my love for you. I am yours, today and forever."

> "I give you this ring as a gift that lasts forever. Know that I’m always with you, behind you, and by your side."

> "With this ring, we forge a new path on our adventure together. I love you, always, as my best friend."

> "I give you this ring as a reminder of today and all our hopes and dreams for the future."

The ring exchange is a highly personal and meaningful part of the wedding ceremony, and couples can choose to customise it to reflect their unique personalities and beliefs.

Pronouncement of marriage

The pronouncement of marriage is a crucial aspect of a wedding ceremony, marking the couple's first introduction as a married couple. This moment holds significant legal and spiritual weight and is one of the few components of the ceremony mandated by law. The wording of the pronouncement can vary, allowing for customisation to suit the couple's preferences and beliefs. Here is a detailed guide to the pronouncement of marriage:

The Legal and Spiritual Significance:

The pronouncement of marriage, along with the signing of the marriage certificate, are the essential legal requirements for a wedding. The authority to solemnise marriage is regulated by the government, and the wording often reflects the spiritual and legal nature of this union. The phrase "by the power vested in me by the State of [state name]" acknowledges this legal authority.

Customisation and Creativity:

The exact wording of the pronouncement is left to the couple's discretion, allowing for creativity and personalisation. This flexibility ensures that the moment authentically represents the couple's beliefs and values. For example, gender-neutral language can be used for same-sex or non-binary couples, and references to "God" can be included or omitted based on the couple's religious beliefs.

Sample Pronouncements:

• Traditional Opposite-sex Pronouncement: "By the power vested in me by the State of California and American Marriage Ministries, here in the company of those who love and support you, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss each other! Friends, it’s my honour to introduce Nevin and Sara Williams."
• Non-Denominational Christian Pronouncement: "Now, as Lita and Mark have exchanged promises and rings, pledging their continuing love and faithfulness to each other in the holy bond of wedlock, and have witnessed this before God and our loving congregation, it is my true honour to pronounce them husband and wife. Those that God has joined together, let no man put asunder. You may now kiss the bride!"
• Non-Religious/Non-Spiritual Pronouncement: "Now, with the authority vested in me by the great State of New York and American Marriage Ministries, I’m thrilled to announce the two of you married! Let’s see that kiss!"
• Spiritual But Not Religious Pronouncement: "Manny and Carl, the universe brought you together, and you've honoured that gift every day. Now, under this open sky, grounded in the beauty of this place and surrounded by people who love you endlessly, I’m so happy to pronounce you married. As you kiss, may your spirits be bound in lasting love and joy! Friends, please give a shout for the Misters Dennis-Whittacker!"
• Gender-Neutral Pronouncement: "Here, surrounded by your friends and family, beside the tree where you shared your first kiss, it’s my great privilege to pronounce the two of you married. Kiss! Friends, let me introduce you to Kat and Amory, partners in life, now and always!"

These examples showcase the diversity of pronouncements, allowing for customisation based on the couple's preferences, beliefs, and the inclusion of guests or loved ones. The pronouncement of marriage is a memorable moment that sets the tone for the newlyweds' first kiss and their new life together.

Frequently asked questions