Exploring Native American Wedding Ceremonies: Who Can Partake?

Native American wedding customs differ from clan to clan, but they are all centred around nature and matrilineal kinship. Couples with roots in the indigenous groups of North America may opt for a modern, Western wedding, a traditional Native American wedding, or a unique ceremony that blends the two. Native American weddings are deeply rooted in the belief that marriage is a sacred bond between two people and that it is meant to be honoured and celebrated. The ceremonies are also an opportunity to honour the rich cultural heritage of Native American traditions.

Native American wedding attire

Traditional Attire

Native American brides usually wear red or other bright colours, instead of white. Their dresses may be passed down through generations. The bride's attire may also include colours that are symbolic of the different cardinal directions (east, west, north, south). Jewellery is seen as a shield against evils, including hunger, poverty, and bad luck.

Native American grooms traditionally wear a red or black shirt, black or white pants, and moccasins, and their outfits are adorned with ribbons.

• Cherokee: Brides wear all-white dresses and moccasins. The dress is made from pieces of cloth that other tribal women tore into rectangles or squares. Grooms wear a red shirt, black pants, and moccasins.
• Algonquin tribes: Brides and grooms wear traditional clothing that is made by hand. The bride washes in water (lake, river, pond, or ocean) on the morning of the wedding to be blessed by the spirit of the Earth.
• Northern California tribes: Wedding attire incorporates symbolic colours like blue, yellow, and black.
• Hopi: Grooms wear a garment that consists of a large belt, two all-white wedding robes, a white wedding robe with red stripes at the top and bottom, deerskin leggings, and moccasins.
• Delaware: Brides wear a knee-length deerskin skirt and a band of wampum beads around their forehead. For a winter wedding, she would wear deerskin leggings, moccasins, and a robe of turkey feathers. Her face would be painted with white, red, and yellow clay.
• Pueblo: Brides wear a cotton garment tied above the right shoulder, secured with a belt around the waist.

Modern Attire

Depending on the tribe, type of wedding, and location, some couples might wear modern wedding clothing (e.g. a white dress and tuxedo).

The wedding vase ceremony

About a week or two before the wedding, both families assemble, and the parents give the couple advice. The vase is then filled with a ceremonial liquid, which can be nectar made by a medicine man, water, or herbal tea. On the wedding day, the couple takes turns drinking from the vase, with each partner offering the vase to the other. In some tribes, the couple drinks from the vase simultaneously, symbolising their unity. If they manage to do this without spilling, it is believed they will have a long and harmonious marriage.

The wedding vase is a cherished item for the couple, who take great care to ensure it is not damaged. It is never sold and is only gifted to another married couple if one spouse passes away, symbolising the celebration of a happy marriage.

The four directions

The East represents new beginnings, birth, and the element of air. From the East, we receive the gift of a new beginning with the rising of each morning sun, and the dawn wind breathing into us openness of heart and purity of mind and body.

The South symbolises growth, learning, and the element of fire. In the South, we see the earth that will feed and enrich us, helping us to build a stable home. The warm and pleasant winds from the South bring the power of life, and it is said that the life of all things comes from the South.

The West signifies endings, change, and the element of water. In the West, we see the storm clouds and the oceans, teaching us the capacity to feel emotion through tears of sadness and joy. The West is also the source of water: rain, lakes, streams, and rivers. Nothing can live without water, so the West is vital.

The North represents stability, abundance, and the element of earth. In the North, we see the northern lights, teaching us the importance of energy, passion, creativity, and the warmth of a loving home. The North brings the cold, harsh winds of winter, which cause the leaves to fall and the earth to rest under a blanket of snow. If one can face these winds, they have learned patience and endurance.

The wedding circle dance

In the Rite of the Seven Steps, the couple takes seven steps around a sacred fire, with the groom leading and reciting a vow at each step, followed by the bride. At each step, the couple may exchange small gifts, such as ears of corn, feathers, or stones, which symbolise their love and life together. As the couple takes their symbolic walk, guests join hands and form a circle around them and the fire.

The circle dance may also be accompanied by music and dance that are unique to the tribe. For example, the Nanticoke Indian Tribe may include the crow hop, shake dance, round dance, or ribbon dance.

The circle dance is a powerful ritual that binds the couple not only to each other but also to the earth, the spiritual world, and their community.

The fire ceremony

Preparation

Fire Circle

A fire circle is constructed with high sides made of stones. The number and type of wood used can vary, but traditionally, seven types of wood are specially cut from specific trees by a priest or spiritual leader. The wood and fire circle are then blessed with prayers and songs.

Three Sacred Fires

Three separate fires are prepared within the fire circle. One large fire is built in the centre, representing the Creator and the union of the couple. Two smaller fires are prepared to the north and south, representing the bride and groom's individual lives before their union.

Ritual Offerings

The couple and the spiritual leader sprinkle the fires with tobacco, sage, sweetgrass, and corn while saying prayers and singing songs. The couple may also offer personal items, drawings, or written intentions to the fire, symbolising the release of past emotions and the manifestation of new ones.

Lighting the Fires

The couple each offers a prayer, either aloud or silently, as the two small fires are lit. After burning for a moment, the couple gently pushes their individual fires toward the central woodpile, igniting it and symbolising the merging of their lives into one union.

Celebration

The ceremony concludes with a celebration, where participants sing, dance, and express gratitude for their answered prayers.

Variations

The Rite of Seven Steps is a variation of the fire ceremony, where the bride and groom take seven steps around the sacred fire, reciting a vow with each step. Gifts may also be exchanged after each step to signify each vow, such as kernels of corn for fertility and growth, or a feather for truth and loyalty.

Cultural Sensitivity

It is important to approach the inclusion of Native American traditions in a wedding with respect and cultural sensitivity. Couples incorporating these traditions should ideally have Indigenous roots and be well-versed in the cultural significance of the rituals they choose to include. Consulting with tribal leaders during the planning process is highly recommended.

Frequently asked questions