Deborah Chan
It is generally considered a fashion faux pas to wear white to a wedding as a guest. However, there are some exceptions to this rule. For example, if the couple has explicitly requested that guests wear white, or if the dress is predominantly another colour with only a small thread of white throughout. Ultimately, it is up to the individual bride how sensitive she is about guests wearing white on her big day.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Traditional etiquette | White is for the bride only |
| Exceptions | If the couple has requested that white attire be worn |
| If the dress is predominantly a variety of other colors with only a small thread of white | |
| If the dress has a white print on a colorful base | |
| If the dress has a large print that makes it obvious that you are a guest | |
| Colors to avoid | Ivory, cream, silver, champagne, blush, pale blue |
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What You'll Learn
The history of the white wedding dress
The tradition of wearing a white wedding dress is commonly credited to Queen Victoria, who wore a white court dress to her wedding with Prince Albert in 1840. Before Queen Victoria, royal brides wore wedding dresses in a variety of colours, with red being one of the most popular choices. Debutantes had long been required to wear white court dresses and long white gloves for their first presentation at court, and Queen Victoria's choice of a white wedding dress set a new trend.
As accounts of Victoria's wedding spread across the Atlantic and throughout Europe, fashionable people followed her lead. By 1849, women's magazines were proclaiming that white was not only the best colour for a wedding dress but that it had always been the most appropriate choice. The colour white became associated with purity and innocence, in addition to wealth, as white dresses were hard to maintain and could be easily ruined by any sort of work or spill.
The popularity of the white wedding dress was further boosted in 1981, when 750 million people watched the wedding of Diana Spencer to Charles, Prince of Wales, in which she wore an elaborate white taffeta dress with an 8-metre train. The portrayal of weddings in Hollywood and the widespread dissemination of images of celebrity weddings also helped to cement the notion that marriage demanded a white dress.
Today, the white wedding dress is considered a traditional choice for brides in the Western world, although modern brides may also choose other colours or non-traditional styles. While it is generally considered taboo for a guest to wear white to a wedding, there may be exceptions if the couple specifically requests that guests wear white attire or if the guest has a close relationship with the couple.
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Exceptions to the rule
Although wearing white to a wedding is generally considered a fashion faux pas, there are some exceptions to this rule.
Firstly, if the couple has explicitly requested that guests wear white, then it is acceptable to do so. This request will typically be mentioned in the invitation or on the wedding website. In this case, it is advisable to choose a solid white style, rather than a white floral print, to avoid resembling the bride's dress.
Secondly, wearing a dress with a hint of white may be permissible if it is not the predominant colour. For example, a dress with a large print or pattern on a white background could be acceptable, as long as the print is the "star of the show". A 75-25 ratio of colour to white is often suggested as a guideline. However, it is important to note that small floral prints may still be too close to bridal wear, and certain colours, like pale pink or butter yellow, can be photographed as looking like cream or white.
Additionally, the level of flexibility regarding this rule may depend on the couple getting married. Some brides may be more sensitive about guests wearing white than others. Considering your relationship with the couple and the potential perspective of the bride can provide valuable insight.
Ultimately, if you are questioning whether a dress has too much white, it is often best to err on the side of caution and choose a different outfit.
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What to wear instead
As a wedding guest, it is best to avoid wearing white or any colours that could be mistaken for white, such as ivory, cream, champagne, and beige. If the wedding has a dress code, be sure to follow it, and if you're still unsure, opt for a colourful cocktail dress or a pastel, muted, or jewel tone for a formal wedding.
If you're attending a spring or summer wedding, the couple may request an all-white dress code. In this case, it's best to choose a solid white style rather than a white floral print. If the invitation doesn't specify a dress code, you can consider the formality, location, and seasonal weather to help you choose an appropriate outfit.
For a formal wedding, tea-length dresses, leather jackets or shawls, and pastel, muted, or jewel tones are good choices. If you're attending a casual wedding or an outdoor garden party, flat sandals and small stud earrings are more appropriate.
If you're unsure about the dress code or what to wear, it's always best to ask the couple, a member of the wedding party, or another guest for guidance. It's also important to avoid wearing anything too shimmery or distracting, as the wedding is the couple's time to shine.
Instead of white, you could opt for a colourful dress with a white print. A white shrug over a colourful cocktail dress is also an option. If you still want to incorporate white into your outfit, you can add a pop of bright colour with accessories like a belt, earrings, or chunky statement jewellery.
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How to communicate dress code to guests
Wearing white as a guest at a wedding is generally considered a faux pas, as it is traditionally the colour of the bride's dress. However, there are some exceptions, such as when the couple specifically requests that guests wear white, which would be mentioned in the invitation.
Now, here are some tips on how to communicate the dress code to your wedding guests:
Use Clear and Concise Wording
Be clear and concise when communicating the dress code to your guests. Avoid using vague terms like "casual" or "semi-formal," as they can be interpreted in many ways. Instead, provide specific and detailed descriptions of the expected attire. For example, "beach casual attire" or "black-tie optional."
Include the Dress Code on the Invitation or Wedding Website
The simplest way to communicate the dress code is to include it directly on the invitation. If you have a wedding website, you can also add the dress code there, preferably on the homepage or an FAQ page. That way, guests can easily refer back to it if needed.
Provide Visual Inspiration
Consider creating mood boards or providing visual examples of appropriate attire for your guests. This can be done through a bridal stylist or by sharing inspiration on your wedding website or social media pages. This gives guests a clear idea of what to wear and ensures they feel confident in their choices.
Specify Any Themed Events or Colour Schemes
If you have a specific theme or colour scheme for your wedding, be sure to communicate this to your guests. For example, if you're having a spring or summer wedding, you might request that guests wear all white. Communicating these details in advance helps guests prepare and ensures their attire aligns with your vision.
Offer Recommendations and Suggestions
Instead of strict instructions, consider providing recommendations or suggestions for attire. This gives guests some flexibility while still providing guidance. For example, you can suggest specific types of outfits, such as sundresses, lightweight separates, or dressy pantsuits, to give guests an idea of the appropriate level of formality and style.
By following these tips, you can effectively communicate the dress code to your wedding guests, ensuring they feel informed and confident in their attire choices.
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What to do if a guest wears white
It is widely considered a breach of wedding guest etiquette to wear white, as this colour is typically reserved for the bride. However, if a guest chooses to wear white, it is important for the couple, especially the bride, to remain calm and not let this minor issue ruin their special day.
- Stay calm and don't panic: It is crucial to remember that you are the bride, and all eyes will be on you, not the guest. Avoid stressing over the situation and focus on the more important aspects of your wedding day.
- Exercise discretion: While you may feel inclined to confront the guest directly, it is advisable to maintain discretion and distance yourself from them. Creating a scene will only draw unnecessary attention and potentially cause a public spectacle.
- Assign a member of the bridal party: If you feel the need to address the matter, delegate a member of your bridal party to politely approach the guest. They can offer the guest a jacket, shawl, or accessory to add some colour to their outfit. This approach will make the guest aware of the situation without causing them discomfort throughout the event.
- Let it go: Ultimately, the best course of action is to let go of the issue and not let a minor wardrobe choice overshadow your wedding day. Focus on the positive aspects of your day, the people who love and support you, and the memories you are creating.
- Provide clear dress code guidelines: To avoid such situations in the future, consider providing explicit dress code guidelines for your guests. You can include these guidelines on your wedding website or invitation. While it may not be an instruction manual, it will give your guests a clear direction and help them make appropriate attire choices.
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Frequently asked questions
No, it is generally advised that guests should not wear white to a wedding. This tradition of reserving white for the bride began with Queen Victoria's wedding in 1840.
If the dress has a white base with some colour, it is best avoided. A good rule of thumb is to maintain a 75-25 ratio of colour to white.
If the print has a white background or a small floral print, it is best avoided. If the print is large and obvious, it is probably fine to wear.
Pale colours like pink or yellow that may photograph as cream or white should be avoided. If you are questioning it, it is best to choose another dress.
Yes, if the couple has explicitly requested that guests wear white, then it is acceptable.
