Lyla Dejesus
There are several traditions and modern approaches to wearing wedding and engagement rings. In Western cultures, it is customary to wear the wedding band first, followed by the engagement ring on the fourth finger of the left hand. This tradition stems from the belief that the left ring finger contains the vena amoris or vein of love, which runs directly to the heart. However, some couples choose alternative arrangements based on comfort, ring design, or personal preference. Ultimately, the choice of how to wear wedding and engagement rings is a matter of individual choice and personal style.
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What You'll Learn
Wedding attire
Deciding what to wear to a wedding can be a complicated process, especially with the rise of creative wedding guest attire suggestions, such as "whimsical garden party" or "tropical formal". Wedding attire largely depends on the formality of the event, the season, and the venue.
White-Tie Attire
White-tie is the most formal wedding attire. For men, this includes a long, dark tuxedo tailcoat with fabric extensions (known as "tails") that reach to the back of the knee. A white piqué button-down shirt should be worn under a white vest with a bow tie and a cummerbund. Pants should match the colour and fabric of the jacket, and white-tie trousers often include a satin or grosgrain stripe along the outer seams. Women should wear a formal, floor-length evening gown with jewellery, heels, and an elegant clutch.
Black-Tie Attire
Black-tie is a step down from white-tie and usually indicates a formal, evening event. Men typically wear a tuxedo, but a dark suit and conservative tie are also acceptable. Women usually wear a floor-length gown, a fancy cocktail dress, or a dressy pantsuit.
Black-Tie Optional
Black-tie optional is slightly less formal than black-tie. Men can wear a suit and a white shirt with a conservative tie. Women's attire is similar to black-tie, but it is more acceptable to wear a dress that shows the ankles.
Cocktail Attire
Cocktail attire is a step above semi-formal. It is a popular choice for weddings, striking a balance between elegant and comfortable. Men are required to wear a suit and tie, and women have more flexibility with hemlines, colours, and patterns. Women can wear a formal dress with a shorter hemline, accented with jewellery or a nice pair of shoes.
Semi-Formal Attire
Semi-formal attire is dressy casual. For evening events, darker, more formal colours are best, whereas light hues and airy fabrics are preferred for daytime affairs. Women can wear below-the-knee dresses, slip dresses, a dressy skirt and top, or an elegant pantsuit. Men can wear a dress shirt and slacks, with the option to wear a tie.
Casual Attire
Casual attire is less common for weddings, but usually includes rustic, western, and country themes.
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Guest list
Putting together a guest list for your wedding can be a daunting task, but it doesn't have to be. Here are some tips to help you create a guest list that works for you and your partner:
Start with a Master List
Begin by creating a list of every single person you and your partner would invite to your wedding if there were no limitations. This list should include immediate family, close friends, colleagues, distant relatives, acquaintances, and their partners and children. This master list will be the foundation for narrowing down your guest list.
Prioritize Your Favorites
Go through your master list and highlight the people you simply couldn't imagine getting married without. These are your "must-haves" or "A-list" guests. They are the people who bring you joy, and you can't bear to celebrate without them. Their presence at your wedding is non-negotiable.
Consider Budget and Venue Constraints
The number of guests you can invite will depend on your budget and the capacity of your venue. Each additional guest increases the cost of your wedding, so it's essential to set a budget and stick to it. Consider the costs of meals, tables, chairs, flowers, favors, and other expenses per guest. Be realistic about what you can afford, and adjust your guest list accordingly.
Manage Plus-Ones and Children
Decide early on how you will handle plus-ones to avoid last-minute decisions. You may choose to allow plus-ones for your wedding party, engaged or married couples, or those living together. However, you are not obligated to provide a plus-one to everyone. Similarly, decide whether you want to invite children and set an age limit if necessary.
Trim with Criteria
To further refine your guest list, you can apply certain criteria. For friends, consider whether you've had dinner with them recently or see yourself doing so in the future. If you've grown apart from some friends, it's okay not to invite them. For relatives, you can pick a specific degree of relation, such as inviting first cousins but not second cousins. Be consistent in applying these rules to both sides of the family.
Stand Your Ground
Remember, this is your wedding, and you should not feel pressured by others' opinions or emotions. You don't have to invite people out of obligation or because your parents or in-laws want you to. Be kind but upfront, and don't be afraid to say no. Focus on creating a guest list that aligns with your vision for your special day.
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Readings and music
The readings and music chosen for a wedding ceremony can be a great way to personalise the occasion and make it memorable. Couples can choose to include readings that are meaningful to them and their relationship. These can be in the form of quotes, poems, songs, literature, religious scripture, or even pop culture references.
A popular choice for readings is an excerpt from a favourite novel or poem, or even a children's book that holds a special meaning for the couple. Some couples may opt for a more light-hearted approach, including quotes from their favourite movies or TV shows. For music lovers, lyrics from a beloved song or a meaningful line from the lyrics of their shared favourite band can be a great option.
If the couple has a specific theme for their wedding, such as a season or literary theme, they can incorporate readings that align with it. For instance, a couple who renovated their backyard together for their wedding ceremony used a quote from Galileo: "Wine is sunlight held together by water." Another couple who shared a love for tea had a unique tea-sharing ceremony with a quote from Thích Nhất Hạnh: "Drink your tea slowly and reverently, as if it is the axis on which the world earth revolves — slowly, evenly, without rushing toward the future."
Involving family and friends in the readings is another way to make the wedding ceremony special. A close friend or family member can be asked to read a passage or poem that holds significance for the couple. This not only includes them in the wedding but also adds a personal touch to the ceremony.
Music is an integral part of a wedding and can be used to set the mood for the occasion. Couples can choose songs that are meaningful to them and even incorporate song lyrics into their readings. The music selected for the wedding ceremony and reception can be a reflection of the couple's personalities and interests, creating a unique and memorable experience for everyone involved.
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Vendors
When it comes to wedding vendors for rings, there are a variety of options to choose from. You can opt for traditional gold wedding bands or explore more extravagant designs with diamonds, pearls, crystals, or precious stones. Some popular vendors in this space include JamesAllen.com and Bridestory.com, which offer a range of styles, including classic, elegant, and alternative designs.
For those seeking handcrafted and luxurious options, TACORI is a vendor known for their fine jewelry crafted with extraordinary care by artisans in California. Their collection includes wedding bands, engagement rings, and eternity rings.
When considering which ring to choose, it's important to think about the practical aspects as well. For example, if you plan to wear multiple rings, you might want to choose simpler wedding bands that complement other rings without scratching or damaging them. This is especially important if you plan to wear rings made of different metals, such as titanium and gold, which have different levels of malleability.
Additionally, consider your personal style and any unique preferences you may have. Some people choose to wear their wedding rings on their right hand, especially left-handed individuals, as it is their non-dominant hand. This can be a more practical option to avoid damage to the ring. Ultimately, there are no hard and fast rules when it comes to wearing wedding rings, and you should feel free to choose what feels most comfortable and authentic to you.
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Etiquette
Planning a wedding can be a stressful process, but it is important to remember that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to the big day. Traditions and etiquette are constantly evolving, and couples are encouraged to make their own rules. However, there are a few long-standing guidelines that are still considered standard practice.
Guest List Etiquette
The guest list can be a complicated process and is often dependent on budget and venue capacity. It is considered good etiquette to involve both partners and key family members in the decision-making process. It is also important to decide whether children will be invited and who will be allotted a plus-one. According to wedding planner Tessa Lyn Brand, starting the planning process early can make it more straightforward, fun, and less anxiety-inducing.
Invitations and Save-the-Dates
It is considered rude to send someone a "save the date" and then not follow up with a wedding invitation. Even if they have already told you they cannot make it, it is important to send the invitation to make clear they are still included. It is also considered rude to invite someone to a pre-wedding event, such as a shower, and not to the wedding itself. Wedding invitations should not include registry information. This should be added to a wedding website instead, with a link included on the stationery.
Wedding Day Etiquette for Guests
There are several long-standing rules for guests attending a wedding. Firstly, it is important to arrive on time and attend the ceremony. Guests should ensure their phones are on silent mode, and it is considered rude to wear white, cream, or ivory unless the bride has specifically requested it.
Wedding Party Etiquette
The wedding party will usually walk down the aisle before the bride, taking their places on either side of the altar. This typically includes the bride's mother, the groom, best man, flower girl, and ring bearer. The officiant will then say a few words of welcome and possibly share the couple's love story or a reflection on marriage.
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Frequently asked questions
You can do whatever you want with your engagement ring during your wedding. Some brides put it on their right hand so that their left ring finger is empty for the ceremony, while others wear it on their left hand as usual. Some brides also opt to not wear their engagement ring at all.
It is recommended that you start looking for your wedding dress right after you pick your venue. Try to complete your dress purchase nine months before your wedding so that you have enough time for fittings and alterations.
Here are some wedding etiquette rules to follow:
- Don't invite someone to a pre-wedding party if you don't plan on inviting them to the wedding.
- Don't include your registry information on your wedding invitation.
- Never invite a guest to your wedding via text message or social media platform.
- If you send someone a "save the date", you must send them a wedding invite.
- If you know the name of your guest's plus one, include it on the invitation.
- Your RSVP return card should include postage.
- Always feed your wedding vendors.
