Franklin Dean
Wedding speeches are an integral part of a couple's big day. While some traditions suggest that speeches should be conducted after the meal, there are pros and cons to having them both before and after. Some people prefer to get the speeches out of the way so that guests can relax and enjoy the dinner, while others prefer to wait until after the meal so that guests are relaxed and well-fed. Ultimately, the decision comes down to personal preference, and couples should choose the option that makes the most sense for them and their guests.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Number of speeches | 3 normally |
| Number of courses | 3 normally |
| Best time for speeches | After the meal |
| Advantages of speeches after the meal | Guests are more relaxed, the day flows better, guests are likely to be hungry, speakers can be nervous, guests can get drunk during the meal |
| Advantages of speeches before the meal | Gets it out of the way, guests have something to do as soon as they sit down, speakers can get nervous, guests can get drunk before the meal |
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What You'll Learn
Wedding speeches are traditionally given after the meal
There are various opinions on whether wedding speeches should be given before or after the meal. Some people argue that having the speeches before the meal means that guests are instantly engaged, and it avoids the dreaded small talk at the table. It also means that nervous speakers can get it out of the way and enjoy the rest of the evening stress-free.
However, others argue that it is better to have the speeches after the meal. This is because guests are more receptive and relaxed when they have a full stomach, and it can improve the quality of the food. It also means that the tables are nice and clear, which is better for photos.
Some people suggest splitting the speeches, with one or two before the meal and the rest after dessert. This can be a good option if there are nervous speakers who want to get their speech out of the way, but it can also ruin the flow of the meal if a speech goes on longer than expected.
Ultimately, the decision of when to have the wedding speeches is up to the couple, and they should do what feels right for their day.
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Guests are more receptive and relaxed when they're not hungry
There are differing opinions on whether wedding speeches should take place before or after the meal. Some people argue that speeches should be done before the meal so that guests have something to listen to instantly, and so that the speakers can get their nerves out of the way and enjoy their meal.
However, the majority of sources suggest that wedding speeches should take place after the meal. Firstly, this ensures that guests are not left hungry and agitated while waiting for the speeches to end. It also means that guests who have been liberal with their drinks during the reception can eat something and sober up a little.
Additionally, guests are more likely to be relaxed and receptive to the speeches when they are not hungry. They will be happy to sit back, listen, and enjoy the speeches on a full stomach. This is especially true if guests have travelled some distance to be at the wedding.
Finally, having the speeches after the meal means that the formalities of the day are concluded, and the party side can begin.
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Speakers may prefer to go first to get it over with
There are several reasons why speakers may prefer to give their wedding speeches before the meal. Firstly, it can help to ease nerves and anxiety about public speaking. With the speeches out of the way, nervous speakers can relax and enjoy the meal and the rest of the evening stress-free. This also means that speakers who are nervous can avoid spending the whole day worrying about their upcoming speech.
Additionally, giving speeches before the meal can provide instant entertainment for guests as they sit down, avoiding the dreaded small talk at the table. Once the speeches are finished, guests will have something to talk about and discuss. It also means that guests who have had a few drinks at the reception can eat something and sober up before the meal.
Speeches given before the meal can also help to create a more relaxed flow to the day. Guests are more likely to be attentive and receptive to the speeches on a full stomach, but having the speeches before the meal means they are less likely to be interrupted by the next course being served. This also means that the photographer won't miss out on their meal or have to eat a cold meal.
However, it is important to consider that guests may be hungry and waiting for the speeches to end before they can eat. It can also be argued that having the speeches after the meal is better as it gives the groom time to drink and gain the confidence to speak in front of everyone. Ultimately, the decision of when to have the wedding speeches is a personal preference, and there is no right or wrong answer.
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Toasts can be held off until guests are served their main course
There are various opinions on whether wedding toasts should be held before or after the meal. Some people argue that holding toasts after the meal is better because guests are more relaxed and receptive after they have eaten. This also ensures that the quality of the food is not affected by the anticipation of the speech.
Waiting until after the main course also means that guests are less likely to be hungry and agitated, waiting for the speeches to end. It can be a long day for guests, and they may be hungry by the time they sit down for the wedding breakfast, so serving the meal first ensures they are properly fed. This also gives nervous speakers a chance to relax and enjoy their meal without the anticipation of a speech hanging over them.
Toasts after the meal also mean that anyone who has been liberal with the drinks can eat something and sober up a little, rather than drinking more at each toast! It also means that the photographer can take a break and eat without worrying about missing a speech.
Having the speeches after the meal also means that the tables are clear and not littered with half-empty glasses and plates, which is better for photos. It also means that guests are less likely to be mid-chat when a speech starts, which can be disruptive.
However, some people prefer to get the speeches out of the way before the meal so that guests have something to talk about straight away, and so that speakers can relax and enjoy the meal.
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Speeches can be split, with some before and some after dessert
There are various ways to approach wedding speeches and one option is to split them, with some before and some after dessert.
A benefit of having speeches before the meal is that it grabs the guests' attention and gives them something to talk about straight away. It also means that nervous speakers can get their speech out of the way and enjoy the rest of the meal. However, it can be a lot to ask of guests who are hungry and have perhaps been drinking on an empty stomach.
Having speeches after the meal means guests are more likely to be relaxed and receptive, with a full stomach. It also means that the meal isn't interrupted and the speakers can relax and enjoy their food before standing up to speak. However, some people may feel that this leaves the speech 'hanging' over the meal, and it can be nerve-wracking for speakers to anticipate their speech throughout the meal.
Splitting the speeches can be a good compromise, allowing nervous speakers to get their speeches out of the way, and giving the guests something to listen to at the beginning of the meal. It also means that the speakers giving their speeches after dessert will have had a chance to relax and enjoy the meal, and guests will be happy to listen, having already eaten.
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Frequently asked questions
Some people prefer to get the speeches out of the way so that the speakers can relax and enjoy their meal without feeling nervous. It also gives the catering team more time to prepare.
Guests are more likely to be attentive as they won't be hungry or thinking about when the food will arrive. They may also be more relaxed after a few drinks and laugh and cheer louder.
Guests may be going to the bathroom or feel ready to get up and move around. There may also be waiting staff walking around collecting plates which could cause a distraction.
Traditionally, wedding speeches are conducted after the meal. Typically, the father of the bride speaks first, followed by the parents of the groom, the maid of honour, and then the best man.
