Lyla Dejesus
The parents of the groom are part of the wedding and usually have a variety of traditional duties and responsibilities. These include financial obligations, such as funding the marriage license, rehearsal dinner, and honeymoon, as well as hosting the rehearsal dinner and engagement party. The groom's parents also have a role in the wedding procession, where they may escort their son down the aisle, and the father-son dance during the reception. They can also provide family photos for the photographer and input on cultural and religious traditions for the ceremony and reception.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Financial responsibilities | The groom's family is traditionally expected to fund the marriage license, rehearsal dinner, and honeymoon. They may also be expected to contribute to the wedding costs, including the wedding rings. |
| Planning responsibilities | The groom's parents can provide recommendations for vendors and venues, especially if the wedding is in their hometown. They can also suggest family traditions to be included in the ceremony and reception. |
| Pre-wedding event responsibilities | The groom's parents, particularly the mother of the groom, may host a bridal shower or a similar event to honour the bride. They are also expected to host and pay for the rehearsal dinner. |
| Attire | The father of the groom should wear a suit or tuxedo chosen by the groom, customised with a tie and accessories. The mother of the groom should choose her dress after the style and formality of the wedding have been decided and in consultation with the mother of the bride. |
| Dance partners | The groom traditionally shares a dance with his mother during the parent dance sequence. The father of the groom may also ask the bride for a dance during the reception. |
| Processional | In some cultures and religions, the groom is escorted down the aisle by his parents. In other traditions, the groom may enter from backstage or from the side, accompanied by groomsmen or ushers. |
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What You'll Learn
Financial contributions
Wedding costs can be a tricky terrain to navigate, and there is no one right or wrong way to split them. Traditionally, the bride's family is responsible for most of the fees associated with the wedding. This includes everything from the wedding planner to vendor costs and pre-wedding parties or celebrations. The groom's family traditionally funds the marriage license, rehearsal dinner, and honeymoon. They are also expected to pay for the wedding officiant, the groom's outfit and accessories, and the floral expenses associated with the wedding party. In some cultures, like Chinese and Russian cultures, the groom's family pays for the majority of the wedding.
Nowadays, more couples are directly contributing to their weddings, and grooms' families are also increasingly willing to split costs. On average, parents contribute to 50% of the wedding budget, while couples pay the remaining half. However, one-third of couples are covering all of their wedding costs independently. It is important to consider individual family dynamics and financial situations when discussing financial contributions. No one is required to contribute anything to a wedding, and if the groom's family is unable or unwilling to help, the couple should determine alternative funding methods.
The groom's parents can also contribute to the wedding in other ways, such as hosting an engagement party or bridal shower and providing gifts for the couple and wedding party. They can also offer emotional support and share their family traditions and cultural or religious backgrounds, which may be incorporated into the wedding.
When discussing wedding finances with the groom's parents, it is essential to be open and honest. It is advisable to prepare a realistic wish list of ways they can contribute and be gracious about their offers, as any contribution is a gift. It is also crucial to respect the groom's parents' wishes if they prefer not to contribute financially and instead offer non-monetary support.
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Rehearsal dinner
The rehearsal dinner is a party that occurs immediately after the wedding rehearsal, usually the day before the wedding. It is traditionally planned and hosted by the groom's parents, though modern couples may choose to organise it themselves or with the help of both families. It is an opportunity to include everyone in both families, members of the wedding party, and out-of-town guests.
The rehearsal dinner can also be a chance to incorporate ideas that didn't make it into the wedding. For instance, if you wanted a rustic theme or a favourite food included, you can incorporate these into the dinner. You can also get creative with the stationery, decorations, and venue. For instance, one couple added vintage touches to their rehearsal dinner by using retro vinyl banquettes and displaying old family photos.
The groom's parents are also responsible for choosing the location, organising the guest list, sending invitations, and selecting the menu. They should also be prepared to accommodate any audio-visual requests for speeches.
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Traditions and family customs
Financial Contributions
Traditionally, the groom's family is expected to contribute financially to the wedding in specific ways. This includes paying for the rehearsal dinner, the marriage license, and the honeymoon. They may also be expected to cover the cost of the wedding rings and the flowers, including the bride's bouquet, as a considerate gesture.
Hosting Duties
The groom's parents often play a crucial role in hosting the rehearsal dinner, which involves choosing the location, organising the guest list, sending out invitations, and selecting the menu. They may also host or co-host the engagement party, especially if the couple chooses to host it themselves.
Pre-Wedding Events
The mother of the groom may host a bridal shower for her future daughter-in-law if the bride's family and friends live far away. This event can be limited to local guests, but it is customary to include the bride's mother.
Wedding Day Traditions
On the wedding day, the groom's parents have several traditional roles. The father of the groom gets ready with his son on the morning of the wedding, ensuring he eats and is ready on time. The mother of the groom may pay a visit with breakfast and words of encouragement before joining her partner and the bride's family for family portraits.
During the ceremony, in some cultures and religions, the groom is escorted down the aisle by his parents. This is particularly common in Jewish weddings and other religious ceremonies.
Gifts and Sentimental Traditions
The mother of the groom traditionally brings a small gift to the bridal shower and may give the bride a more sentimental gift, such as a family heirloom, to welcome her into the family. During the reception, the groom and his mother often share a dance, choosing the song and even choreographing it if they wish. The father of the groom may also ask his new daughter-in-law for a dance during the reception.
Family Input and Planning
The groom's parents can provide valuable input on family traditions, both cultural and religious, that the couple may want to incorporate into their wedding ceremony or reception. They can also assist with planning by recommending vendors and venues, especially if the wedding will be held in their hometown.
While these traditions provide a general framework, it's important to note that weddings are highly personalised events, and each couple may choose to incorporate or adapt customs to suit their unique circumstances and preferences.
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Mother of the groom's dress
The mother of the groom has a very important role in the wedding and should choose her outfit after the couple has decided on the style and formality of the wedding. The mother of the groom should also consult the mother of the bride to see what she is wearing and coordinate with her. While there is no specific colour that the mother of the groom should wear, it is best to avoid white so as not to take away from the bride's special moment. It is also best to avoid the same colour as the bridesmaids' dresses, but a complementary colour can create a beautiful, coordinated look. For instance, if the wedding party is wearing navy blue, the mother of the groom could opt for a light blue dress. Neutral hues such as taupe, grey and beige are classic options that are elegant and classy.
The mother of the groom should also consider the setting of the wedding. Whether the wedding is on the beach, at a resort, or in a classic catering hall, the mother of the groom's dress should be classy and sophisticated, elevating the overall theme. The dress can be midi or floor-length, and the mother of the groom can shop by sleeve length, dress length, fabric, colour, or silhouette to find the perfect dress.
Mothers of the groom who want to follow the latest fashion trends can opt for colours like dark navy, gold, champagne, cabernet, and black. For a more muted look, dusty colours like dusty blue, dusty rose, and sage green are perfect for a romantic and elegant wedding.
Ultimately, the mother of the groom should choose a dress that reflects her unique style and preferences while also considering the couple's vision for the wedding.
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Father-son dance
The parents of the groom are an important part of the wedding and have several traditional duties. These include hosting the rehearsal dinner, providing recommendations for the wedding based on the couple's style and budget, and giving the couple a list of family photos they would like taken on the wedding day.
One special tradition involving the father of the groom is the father-son dance, which has gained popularity in modern weddings. This dance is a way for the groom to honour his father and their relationship. It is usually a slow dance and can be an emotional moment for both parties involved, as well as the wedding guests.
The father-son dance is often paired with the traditional father-daughter dance, where the bride dances with her father to symbolise their close bond. These two dances are commonly known as the "parent dances". The father-daughter dance is typically done right after the first dance of the newly married couple, with the father-son dance following after. However, the order of the dances can vary, and some couples may choose to combine the parent dances or perform them at a different time during the reception, such as after the toasts or cake-cutting.
The songs chosen for the father-son dance can be meaningful to both the father and the son. The dance can be choreographed or kept simple, depending on their preference. It is also becoming more common for LGBTQ+ and gender-neutral couples to include a mother-son or father-son dance, or to dance with both parents.
Ultimately, the decision to include a father-son dance is entirely up to the couple and their comfort level with traditions and customs. Some grooms may not have a relationship with their fathers or may prefer not to be in the spotlight, so they can choose to forgo the dance or include other important parental figures or family members in the dance.
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Frequently asked questions
Traditionally, the groom's parents pay for the rehearsal dinner, the marriage license, and the honeymoon. They may also be expected to contribute to the wedding costs, including the wedding rings.
The groom's parents can help with various tasks, such as recommending vendors, creating a family photo list for the photographer, and sharing family traditions to be included in the ceremony or reception. They may also host the engagement party and offer gifts to welcome the new spouse into the family.
The groom's father typically gets ready with his son on the morning of the wedding and ensures he is ready on time. The groom's mother may stop by with breakfast and words of encouragement. They both play a role in the traditional parent dance sequence, where the groom dances with his mother, and the father of the groom may ask the bride for a dance.
