Junior Rasmussen
Quaker weddings are self-uniting ceremonies without a wedding officiant—only the signatures of two witnesses are required. In the United States, they are legally recognised in only a few states, including California, Colorado, Illinois, Pennsylvania, and Wisconsin. In England and Wales, Quaker weddings have been legally recognised since the 18th century.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Legality | In the US, Quaker weddings are only legal in a handful of states: California, Colorado, Illinois, Kansas, Maine, Nevada, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, and Washington, DC. |
| Officiants | Quaker weddings are self-uniting ceremonies and do not require an officiant. |
| Witnesses | Two witnesses are required to sign the Quaker wedding certificate. |
| Marriage License | A governmental marriage license is not usually part of the ceremony and can be signed separately. However, some states require a license signed by an "officiant," which can be one or more members of an oversight committee. |
| Common-Law Marriage | Common-law marriages, under which Quaker marriages were previously valid in many US states, are now only recognized in a few. |
| Equality | Quakers emphasize equality in their wedding traditions, allowing same-sex couples to marry since 2009. |
| Location | In England and Wales, Quaker weddings are exempt from the requirement to marry in approved locations, though they usually take place in a meeting for worship. |
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What You'll Learn
Self-uniting marriage licenses
The process of obtaining a self-uniting marriage license varies slightly depending on the state and county. In most cases, both partners must be physically present and bring valid photo identification when applying for the license. Some counties offer online applications, and the price of the license may vary. It is important to note that a self-uniting marriage license is typically only valid in the state where it was issued.
In Pennsylvania, for example, self-uniting marriage licenses are available from the Marriage License Bureau at Philadelphia's City Hall. The license costs $100, and the couple must return the signed license to the Marriage License Department within 10 days of the ceremony. Pennsylvania marriage licenses can be used anywhere within the Commonwealth, and the state is one of the only ones where self-uniting ceremonies can be performed.
Self-uniting marriage ceremonies are becoming increasingly popular, even among those not affiliated with the Quaker religion. These ceremonies are often chosen for their convenience, simplicity, and personal meaning. Couples have the flexibility to make the ceremony as simple or elaborate as they wish, focusing on the people and the significance of the event rather than the details and hierarchy.
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Legality in the US
In the US, Quaker weddings are self-uniting ceremonies without a wedding officiant. They are rooted in the Quaker religion and its emphasis on the divine, simplicity, equality, and community. These weddings are legally recognised in only a few states, including Pennsylvania, California, Colorado, Illinois, Kansas, Maine, Nevada, Wisconsin, and Washington, DC.
Self-uniting marriage licenses allow couples to marry without an officiant. In some states, such as Maine, only followers of certain religious faiths, including Quakers, are permitted to obtain self-uniting marriage licenses. In Pennsylvania and Washington, DC, however, self-uniting licenses are granted regardless of religious affiliation.
In most cases, a self-uniting marriage license requires the signatures of the couple and two witnesses. Some states, such as Illinois, require the couple to complete a marriage certificate form and forward it to the county clerk within a certain timeframe after the marriage.
While Quaker weddings are legally recognised in certain states, some Meetings encourage couples to obtain marriage licenses and have them signed by a representative of the Meeting and duly filed with the state. This is particularly a concern for Meetings that recognise the joining of homosexual or lesbian couples, as there is discomfort with the idea of obtaining and filing marriage licenses for heterosexual couples due to the Quaker value of equality.
In cases where couples do not want or are not eligible for a legal marriage, they may opt for a ceremony of commitment or a wedding under the care of the Meeting, which is a tradition dating back to the earliest days of Quakerism.
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Legality in the UK
Quaker weddings are legally recognised in England, Scotland, and Wales. The first Marriage Act of 1753, which regulated the legal and civic recognition of marriage, recognised only marriages conducted by the "Society of Friends" (Quakers), Jews, and the Church of England. This special exemption for Quakers has continued in subsequent Marriage Acts in England and Wales up to and including the Marriage Act 1949, which allows "marriage in accordance with the usages of the Society of Friends, commonly called Quakers".
In the UK, a governmental marriage license is not usually part of the Quaker wedding ceremony and can be signed at a separate time if desired. However, it is important to note that the Quaker marriage certificate signed during the ceremony does not have legal standing. To ensure the marriage is legally recognised, the couple and their witnesses must sign the civil marriage paperwork or marriage schedule, which needs to be returned to the district registrar within a specified timeframe.
Quaker weddings are unique in that they do not require an "officiant" to solemnise the marriage. Instead, the couple makes their vows directly to each other in the presence of God and the assembled witnesses. This format aligns with the Quaker belief in marriage as a spiritual union between two equals.
In terms of location, Quaker weddings in the UK have traditionally been performed in places where there is a regular Meeting for Worship, which are certified places of worship registered for marriage. However, due to historical exemptions, they are also permitted to take place outdoors, a freedom that has only recently been extended to other religious and civil weddings.
While Quaker weddings are legally recognised in the UK, it is worth noting that other religious marriages, such as Sikh, Muslim, and Hindu marriages, must satisfy additional legal requirements to be legally recognised.
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Same-sex marriages
Quaker weddings, also known as self-uniting marriages, are religious ceremonies that are not legally binding. They are based on the belief that only God can unite a couple in marriage, and therefore do not require a third-party officiant to be present. Instead, the couple makes their vows directly to each other in front of God and their closest friends and family members. This type of wedding has become increasingly popular, even among those who are not affiliated with the Quaker religion, due to its simplicity and emphasis on equality and community.
In the past, Quaker marriages were legally recognised under common-law marriage doctrines in many US states. However, common-law marriages are now only recognised in a few states, including Pennsylvania, California, Colorado, Illinois, Kansas, Maine, Nevada, Wisconsin, and Washington, D.C. This means that in most states, a Quaker wedding is not sufficient to make a marriage legal, and a separate marriage license must be signed.
For same-sex couples, the legal recognition of Quaker weddings can be even more complex. While some Meetings are open and welcoming to LGBTQ+ families, others are not. In 2009, the Twin Cities Friends Meeting in Minnesota chose to show their support for same-sex marriage by refusing to sign state-issued marriage licenses for opposite-sex couples until marriage was legalised for all couples. This reflects the Quaker concern for equality and their desire to extend marriage on an equal basis to same-sex couples.
To navigate the legal complexities, some same-sex couples who wish to marry under Quaker traditions may choose to obtain a self-uniting marriage license, which is available in certain states. This license allows them to be married without the presence of an officiant, in line with Quaker beliefs. Additionally, they may need to fulfil other legal requirements, such as having a certain number of witnesses present, depending on the state in which the marriage takes place.
Overall, while Quaker weddings for same-sex couples can be legally recognised in certain jurisdictions, it is important to consult local laws and regulations, as well as seek legal advice, to ensure that all necessary steps are taken to make the marriage legal and valid.
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Wedding vows
In a Quaker wedding, the couple pledges their commitment to each other in front of God and their closest friends and family members. Unlike other types of weddings, these unique rituals are intimate and do not require a wedding officiant or ordained minister. Instead, the couple is considered to marry themselves.
Quaker wedding vows are exchanged during a period of silence, in which the couple feels 'led' to speak. The couple might repeat traditional vows, or write their own. The traditional Quaker wedding vows are:
> "In the presence of God and before these our families and friends, I take thee [bride or groom’s name] to be my [wife/husband], promising with Divine assistance to be unto thee a loving and faithful [husband/wife] so long as we both shall live."
The vows are also written on the Quaker marriage certificate, which is signed by the couple and all wedding attendees. This certificate is not legally binding on its own, but it is a central and deeply meaningful part of the ceremony.
In some US states, a Quaker wedding certificate signed by witnesses may be sufficient proof of marriage. However, in most cases, couples are encouraged to obtain a marriage license and have it signed by a representative of the Meeting, filing it with the state.
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Frequently asked questions
Yes, but it depends on where you live. In the US, self-uniting marriage licenses are legally recognised in eight states (California, Colorado, Illinois, Kansas, Maine, Nevada, Pennsylvania) and in the District of Columbia. In the UK, Quaker weddings have been legally recognised since the 18th century, and this recognition has continued in subsequent Marriage Acts up to and including the Marriage Act 1949.
A self-uniting marriage license allows a couple to wed without a wedding officiant. In most cases, you only need the signatures of two witnesses to say "I do".
No, you don't need to be a Quaker to have a Quaker wedding. In fact, they have become increasingly popular among those not affiliated with the religion.
A Quaker wedding takes the same simple, quiet form as a usual meeting for worship. The couple holds each other's hands and makes a solemn declaration of marriage. Everyone is then asked to support the couple, silently or in spoken ministry. The meeting continues as it began, with a period of silence, during which anyone may speak.
Quakers are members of the Religious Society of Friends, a branch of Protestantism that split from the Church of England in the 1650s. Self-uniting marriage licenses have been legally valid in Pennsylvania since 1861.
