Lyla Dejesus
Being a bridesmaid is exciting, but it can also be dreadful, especially if you don't fit into the mold of conventional body sizes and types. Plus-size bridesmaids often struggle to find dresses that fit them, as most fancy wedding salons and department stores only carry smaller sizes. This can lead to feelings of humiliation and body image issues. Some brides have even been called out for fat-shaming their bridesmaids, either by choosing dresses that don't accommodate their sizes or by excluding them from the wedding party altogether due to their weight. This has sparked discussions about the importance of inclusivity and body positivity in the wedding industry and the need to prioritize people over aesthetics.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Bridesmaids' dresses are not inclusive of plus-size women | Difficult to find plus-size bridesmaid dresses in wedding salons and department stores |
| David's Bridal makes dresses up to size 24 or 30 | |
| Designers may not make plus-size dresses | |
| Dresses may not be available in larger sizes to try on in-store | |
| Larger sizes may cost more | |
| Bridesmaids may feel humiliated and gaslit by the bride | |
| Bride may be criticized for fat-shaming her bridesmaids |
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What You'll Learn
Difficulty of finding plus-size bridesmaid dresses
Being a bridesmaid is an honour, but it can also be a stressful experience, especially when it comes to finding a dress that fits and flatters your body type. This is a common struggle for plus-size bridesmaids, who often face challenges in their search for a dress that makes them feel confident and comfortable.
One of the main difficulties is the limited availability of plus-size options in bridal shops and salons. While there may be a wide range of sizes available for straight-size bridesmaids, the selection for curvier women is often hidden away or non-existent. Sample dresses often stop at size 12 or 14, making it difficult for plus-size bridesmaids to find a dress that fits well and flatters their figure. This can lead to a frustrating experience, with many women feeling disappointed and discouraged.
The lack of inclusive sizing in bridal fashion extends beyond the walls of physical stores. Online shopping, though offering greater product choices, can be a gamble for plus-size bridesmaids. The excitement of finding the perfect dress can quickly turn into stress when the ordered dress doesn't fit as expected. Sizing can vary greatly between brands, and the cost of alterations for plus-size garments can be significant.
Additionally, the time factor is an important consideration. Plus-size bridesmaids may need to allow for longer lead times or adjustments to their chosen design. Starting the search early is crucial to ensuring there is enough time for fittings and any necessary alterations.
However, there is a growing movement towards inclusive bridal fashion, with some brands leading the way in offering extended sizes and celebrating body diversity. These retailers understand the importance of creating outfits that flatter a range of body types, rather than adhering to a narrow definition of conventional sizes. By embracing inclusive sizing and promoting body positivity, these brands are helping to ensure that all bridesmaids feel confident and celebrated on the big day.
In conclusion, while the difficulty of finding plus-size bridesmaid dresses remains a challenge, there are steps that can be taken to mitigate the stress. Early planning, wise brand choices, and a focus on celebrating diverse body types can help create a positive experience for plus-size bridesmaids. Ultimately, it's about embracing individuality and ensuring that every member of the bridal party feels their best.
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Fat-shaming by the bride
It is not uncommon for bridesmaids to feel shamed for their weight by the bride. This can be due to the bride's preoccupation with her wedding planning, or a lack of awareness of the challenges faced by plus-size bridesmaids. For example, a bride may choose a designer who does not cater to plus-size bridesmaids, or select a dress that is unflattering for larger body types.
One woman wrote about her experience as a plus-size bridesmaid, where the bride chose a designer who did not make plus-size dresses. She felt humiliated as she tried on dresses that she knew would not fit, and believed that the bride was absorbed in wedding planning and had forgotten how to treat people. This is a sentiment echoed by many other women, who feel that their size is the "elephant in the room" and that they are being set up to fail by the bride.
Additionally, there is a lack of inclusive options for plus-size bridesmaids. Many fancy wedding salons only offer sizes up to 18, and some department stores only carry plus sizes or straight sizes, not both. This makes it difficult for plus-size bridesmaids to find dresses that fit well and make them feel confident.
In some cases, brides have even been known to alter their wedding photos to make their plus-size bridesmaids appear slimmer. This has been met with backlash, with critics arguing that it is insulting to the bridesmaid and shows that the bride is fat-phobic.
It is important for brides to be mindful of the challenges faced by plus-size bridesmaids and to choose dresses that are inclusive and flattering for all body types. Making someone pay for something that the other bridesmaids received for free because of their weight is also considered unkind and toxic. Ultimately, a wedding is not about the bridesmaids, but it is important to ensure that they feel comfortable and valued.
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Fat-shaming by friends and family
Fat-shaming is a form of bullying that involves criticizing and harassing people with excess weight about their weight, eating habits, and behaviour. It is often justified as a means to motivate people to adopt healthier lifestyles, but research shows that it has the opposite effect. Instead of encouraging people to eat less and exercise more, fat-shaming makes people feel terrible about themselves, leading to psychological distress.
Unfortunately, fat-shaming is prevalent in many social circles, including friends and family. It can be incredibly hurtful when loved ones make derogatory comments about your body, and it can lead to depression and other mental health issues. In the context of weddings, there are numerous stories of bridesmaids who have experienced fat-shaming by the bride or other members of the wedding party. This can include making insensitive comments about dress sizes, not providing inclusive dress options, or making a bridesmaid pay for something that was given for free to thinner bridesmaids.
If you are facing fat-shaming by friends and family, it is important to remember that you are not alone, and there are ways to deal with this issue. Firstly, explain to your loved ones how their remarks make you feel. Help them understand that their comments are hurtful and that they need to stop. Additionally, try to educate them about the positives of varying body sizes and shapes, and the importance of appreciating all bodies.
It is also crucial to develop your own positive thought patterns and practice self-care. Indulge in fat acceptance content and focus on appreciating your body. Remember, you do not have to conform to societal ideals of the "perfect" body. Surround yourself with people who share your values and support your journey towards a healthier and more positive mindset.
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Feeling humiliated and embarrassed
The pressure to look a certain way on your wedding day can lead to toxic behaviours such as fat-shaming. This can take the form of bullying or pressuring someone to lose weight, as seen in an example where a bride told her friend she couldn't be a bridesmaid because of her weight. The friend felt embarrassed and hurt, and their friendship was damaged as a result.
The struggle of finding a dress that fits and flatters a plus-size body can also cause embarrassment. Many bridesmaids have shared their experiences of feeling humiliated and frustrated when trying to find a dress that fits, as most salons and stores don't cater to sizes above 16 or 18. This can lead to feelings of exclusion and self-consciousness, with some women feeling like they don't want to make their size an "issue" and thus suffer in silence.
The financial burden of being a plus-size bridesmaid can also cause embarrassment and humiliation. With many stores charging extra fees for larger sizes, and the difficulty of finding a dress that fits without alterations, the cost of being a plus-size bridesmaid can be significantly higher. This can lead to feelings of shame and resentment, especially if the bridesmaid is already struggling financially.
It's important to note that these feelings of humiliation and embarrassment are a result of societal pressures and unrealistic beauty standards, and that the women sharing these experiences are not alone in their struggles.
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The financial burden of alterations
Being a bridesmaid can be a financial burden, and alterations to dresses are a contributing factor. Bridesmaid dress alterations typically cost between $75 and $150, depending on the extent of the alterations, the fabric of the dress, and where you live. For example, hemming a dress usually costs between $45 and $90, while more complex adjustments to the bust, waist, and hips can exceed $150. The cost of alterations can be even higher for plus-size bridesmaids, who often face limited options when it comes to finding dresses that fit well and may need to pay extra for larger sizes.
To mitigate the financial burden of alterations, some bridesmaids opt for dress styles that require fewer adjustments, such as A-line dresses, which flatter most body shapes and may not need extensive alterations. Trying on dresses before purchasing can also help ensure a better fit and reduce the need for costly alterations. Additionally, choosing dresses with adjustable straps can eliminate the need for strap alterations altogether.
While it may be tempting to skip alterations altogether to save money, proper tailoring can make a significant difference in how a bridesmaid feels about their appearance on the wedding day. A well-fitted dress can boost confidence and ensure that the bridesmaid feels comfortable and classy. However, it is important for bridesmaids to set clear boundaries and communicate their financial limitations to the bride early on to manage expectations and avoid unnecessary financial strain.
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Frequently asked questions
Yes, fat bridesmaids are often shamed at weddings. There are several instances where bridesmaids have been body-shamed by the bride or other people at the wedding.
Fat bridesmaids often face humiliation due to the dress-fitting process, where they are unable to try on dresses that fit them. They are also subjected to fat-shaming comments and are made to feel self-conscious about their bodies.
Some examples of fat-shaming comments made to bridesmaids include: "You're not wanting a gift certificate????", "You need to lose weight", and "My back looks fat".
It is important to prioritize people over dresses. Brides can pick a color and let their bridesmaids choose their own dresses or provide multiple options that are inclusive of different body types.
Fat-shaming a bridesmaid can lead to hurt feelings and the end of a friendship. It can also result in public backlash, as seen in the case of a bride who was slammed online for editing her wedding photos to make her plus-size bridesmaid appear slimmer.
