Junior Rasmussen
Amish weddings are a unique affair, steeped in tradition and reflecting the community's values of simplicity, humility, and adherence to custom. While the specifics may vary across different Amish communities, the weddings are typically simple and community-centred. The weddings are legally binding, but there are several differences from typical English ceremonies, including the absence of wedding rings, dancing, and photography. Amish weddings are traditionally held on Tuesdays or Thursdays in the later fall after the harvest, with the date being kept a closely guarded secret until a few weeks or months before the event. The ceremony is solemn and devoid of a kiss at the altar, followed by a grand feast and an afternoon of socialising, singing, and games.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Wedding season | Traditionally, October to March; after the harvest |
| Days of the week | Tuesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays |
| Engagement period | A few weeks or months |
| Wedding attire | Brides: long-sleeved dresses with a white apron, in purple or blue; Grooms: black pants and jackets with a white dress shirt |
| Wedding rings | None |
| Honeymoon | None |
| Number of guests | 200-600 |
| Food | Fried chicken, mashed potatoes, grilled chicken, meatloaf, noodle salad, homemade bread, pies, pudding pies, fruit mix, ice cream |
| Alcohol | None |
| Dancing | None |
| Kiss at the altar | None |
| Photography | None |
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What You'll Learn
Amish wedding traditions vary across communities
The Amish take their wedding vows very seriously, and the ceremony is conducted by a bishop, who also provides private counsel and blessings to the couple. The bride typically wears a shade of blue or purple, a colour she chooses with care, and often makes her own dress, as well as those of her bridesmaids. The wedding party, or attendants, dress in the same colour, and the young men may wear matching shirts.
The wedding meal is a grand affair, with fried or roasted chicken, mashed potatoes, gravy, and a variety of vegetables, desserts, and other dishes. The bride's family prepares the food, and the community lends a helping hand. The couple visits guests with baskets of candy, and the celebration continues with an evening meal.
Dating customs also vary among the Amish. While dating typically begins around age 16, with couples marrying between 18 and 25, some groups have different rituals during rumspringa, a period of youthful exploration before joining the church. Engagements are generally kept private, with couples sharing the news only a few weeks before the wedding.
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Amish weddings are held during a church service
The Amish value simplicity, humility, and tradition in their weddings. The bride typically makes her dress, often choosing a shade of blue or purple, though modern brides may opt for any colour. The groom begins growing out his beard a few days before the wedding, a sign that he is ready to take on the work and labour expected of married Amish men.
The wedding ceremony includes a sermon, the couple's vows, and a prayer, followed by a large meal with two sittings to accommodate all the guests. The meal is prepared by the women in the church and typically includes traditional Amish dishes such as roast chicken, mashed potatoes, and homemade bread. The bride's family is responsible for serving the meal, and unmarried boys and girls are honoured to serve as "tablewaiters".
The Amish do not believe in honeymoons, and the newlyweds spend the day after their wedding helping to clean up. They will then live with the bride's parents until they are ready to start a home of their own, often built with help from the community.
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Amish brides don't wear white
Amish weddings are traditionally held on Tuesdays or Thursdays in the late fall, after the harvest. They are held during a service similar to a typical Amish worship service, presided over by the Bishop and ministers. The ceremony usually lasts around three hours, with no wedding pictures, kissing at the altar, or dancing. Instead, the focus is on the sermon, the vows, and the celebration meal.
Amish brides typically make their own wedding dresses, and often the dresses of their bridesmaids, known as newehockers. The bride chooses the colour of her dress, which is usually a shade of blue or purple, with blue being the more common colour worn. The dress then becomes the woman's typical Sunday church attire and is also the dress she is buried in when she dies. In some communities, brides wear black dresses with a white cape and apron. In others, the bride wears a black covering to the wedding service, changing into a white covering afterward, which signifies that she is married.
In the Lancaster County Old Order Amish groups, the women wear the same kind of food for their noon wedding meal. This usually consists of turkey or chicken roast, brown butter mashed potatoes with gravy, cooked creamed celery, sometimes peas and carrots, coleslaw, buns, and pies. The wedding meal is a significant event, with around 200-600 people in attendance, including English friends. The meal is prepared by a group of women from the community, who gather a day or two before the wedding to set up tables and cook.
Amish brides do not wear white because it is not one of the acceptable colours within their group. Instead, they take great care in choosing the fabrics and colours of their wedding party, ensuring that the attendants wear the same dress colour.
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Amish weddings don't include honeymoons
Amish weddings are simple, traditional, and community-centred affairs that reflect the Amish values of simplicity, humility, and adherence to tradition. Amish couples typically marry between the ages of 18 and 25, with most weddings taking place in the bride's home or a family member's house. The wedding ceremony is followed by a large meal and socialising, but notably, there is no dancing or alcohol. Unlike many non-Amish weddings, the Amish couple does not go on a honeymoon trip after the wedding. Instead, they spend the next day helping to clean up after the wedding and the next few months living with the bride's parents.
The absence of a honeymoon in Amish weddings is replaced by a focus on community and family. The day after the wedding, the couple and their families work together to clean up the wedding venue, emphasising the importance of collective effort and contribution to the community. The newlyweds then reside with the bride's parents for a few months, strengthening familial bonds and receiving support as they transition into married life.
The decision to forgo a honeymoon reflects the Amish value of simplicity and their emphasis on family and community bonds. By remaining within their community, the couple can immediately begin their married life and establish their new household. They also have the opportunity to visit relatives in other Amish settlements, fostering connections with their extended family.
While the absence of a honeymoon may seem unusual to those outside the Amish community, it is a reflection of their unique culture and traditions. Amish weddings and married life are deeply rooted in their values, with a strong focus on family, simplicity, and community involvement. By forgoing a honeymoon, the couple aligns their marriage with these core principles, prioritising their community and family obligations over personal indulgences.
It is important to note that Amish wedding traditions can vary across different communities. While some general practices are shared, specific customs may differ between Old Order and New Order Amish groups, as well as among different geographical regions. Therefore, the absence of a honeymoon may be a common practice, but exceptions or variations may exist within certain Amish communities.
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Amish weddings are community-centred
The Amish wedding feast is a significant part of the celebration, with traditional Amish dishes such as roast chicken, mashed potatoes, and homemade bread served. The meal is usually prepared by the women in the church and the bride's family, with help from the community. The meal is served in shifts, with the newlyweds and their families eating first. The wedding supper is a large, elaborate meal served in the evening, with the entire community in attendance.
The Amish do not believe in honeymoons, and the newlyweds spend the day after the wedding helping to clean up. They also do not live on their own immediately but stay with their parents until they are ready to live together in their own home, which is usually built with help from the community.
The guest list for Amish weddings is typically large, ranging from 200 to 500 people, including relatives, friends, and coworkers. The wedding preparations involve the extended family and neighbours, who help with cleaning and preparing food. Benches are set up for everyone to sit on, and the ceremony is followed by a big meal and lots of socialising.
The Amish wedding ceremony is quite different from traditional weddings. There are no wedding pictures or photographers, and no kiss at the altar or wedding dance. It is a solemn occasion, with a sermon and ceremony followed by a meal and socialising. The Amish wedding is a community effort, with everyone pitching in to make it a special day for the couple.
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Frequently asked questions
Amish weddings are traditionally simple, community-centred affairs that reflect Amish values of simplicity, humility and tradition. The weddings are held during a service similar to the typical Amish worship service, presided over by the Bishop and ministers. The couple takes their vows before the church, after which the celebration continues with a meal. There is no dancing or alcohol, but there may be singing and other forms of entertainment, such as games.
Amish brides typically make their own dresses, which are usually long-sleeved and adorned with a white apron. The dresses are often blue or purple, but today's brides may choose to wear any colour. After the wedding, the bride's dress becomes her typical Sunday church attire and is also the dress she will be buried in when she dies.
Amish couples typically marry between the ages of 18 and 25, with the average age being around 20.
